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Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The Swan, in solitude wonders
What he can offer Dove
Besides his wordly blunders,
Swan has his eternal love

Swan wants Dove to be secure,
But also wants dove to be free
The poverty is a tenure
The struggle an illusion

For no matter how sad Dove feels
Swan will be there, right on her heels
For Swan knows happiness comes not from wealth
But from a deep content, from a loving mouth

Swan will try his best and may fail,
There will be joyous days of sun
And monstrous days of hail

But Dove will always know
That deep down,
Underneath the worldly frown
The seed of love continues to grow
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Sometimes life can be quiet,
With moments of reprieve.
Thoughts intercept silence;
And companionship I begin to bereave.

Sometimes life can be loud,
With strenuous bouts of peace.
The abyss blocks the way -
And exsanguinates the hopeful day.

Often life is lifeless,
And the possibility of companionship becomes priceless.

If just for a moment in time,
She can become mine -
The silence can be stilled.

And after that fleeting moment,
Solitude can resume,
And cease being my opponent.

Melancholy will answer my call,
As she always has,
And time will go on -
Outside of my mind forged Alcatraz.
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
I believe there is a moment in time,
Where time stops being
Where the ego stops seeing,
What is time to us but a dose of mortality?
With a dash of mendacity.

It is when we cease to project,
When we cease to regret
That time stops being,
And the ego stops seeing.

Living in the now,
Is harder to do that it seems,
It takes an acceptance of past mistakes
And a relinquishing of future dreams

And when time is stopped for that second,
And you become the experience
Do you realise that for it you always beckoned.

The future may never come,
And the past is all but a thought away from done,
And the constant thoughts in torrents come,

Sit back, stay a while and experience.
It may take a while, have patience

Living in the now, with a thoughtless mind,
Is consciousness greatest gift,
Up and away does it hate lift,
As it renders the ego blind.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
The fight from the night before still lingers in my head,
But its getting late, I need to get out of bed,
What shall I do today I think?
Why are there so many ***** dishes in the sink?
Oh god I want a drink
No, I need to be strong
My search for wisdom has just begun and the road is still long
I feel overwhelmed, searching the deepest crevices of my mind
Why is it so hard to just be loving and kind?
I think I may have the answer, or I may still be blind
I see this simplicity in you
My dearest friend
I thought it not possible, and I was certain a loveless world would be my fate
Till the bitter end
I see a different side to life, a side I thought not possible
This must be a dream, who could love me?
Who could love the man with more problems than solutions?
It cant be a dream, It has to be real
I thought this was my eternal deal, a life of pain
A life where it would be a curse to be sane
My dearest friend
You showed me love and acceptance,
I met you with all my hang-ups of rejection and callous inconsideration
And like the waves erode the sharp rocks,
Slowly your love has done so with my walls
I now see a light, an answer I thought could never be answered
I now see that love is real
And that this doesn’t have to always be my deal
My dearest friend,
Thank you for being you
Don’t ever grow hard and cold,
Love will never grow old.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
In this moment,
It has already become the past;
My current thoughts;
Disappear so fast;
What does the future hold?
The present slips away as soon as I glimpse it;
It is no more;
Life is running backwards;
Faster than I can perceive;
In this moment;
However fleeting;
What do I believe?
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Choice?
I used to argue for free will,
I now know that it is an illusion.
Genetics, uncontrollable circumstances -
Chaotic intrusion.
Predisposed to choose,
Win or loose.
Causality,
I see no way out of this foundation of reality
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
There is a sound;
Under which all grief and pain is drowned
There is a feeling;
That encompasses all meaningful healing
There is a taste;
That sweetens all bitter waste
There is a sight;
That reveals hope in the darkest night
There is a smell;
That repudiates the idea of Hell
There is a touch;
That removes the need for any crutch
There is a lie;
That says strong men do not cry
There is a truth;
That is snatched away from the innocent youth
There is a word;
That is often misheard
This overlooked abstraction
Can be said in one simple phrase:
Unto all sentience, have Compassion
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The path we travel through life
Is each our own
The trail behind us is a collage of love and hate
Before us, the overgrown shrubbery of fate

The troubles we face and have overcome,
Accumulate and all make us our own one

We cannot know what path the other has tread
What things he has seen or what has filled his head

Let us as a gathering of one
Come together and intolerance shun
For we never know how worn the traveller's shoes
Or how deep or shallow are his heart’s blues

So, when we look upon another wanderer
Let us do so in kindness,
And knowledge
Of the hardships he undertook,
treading through the fateful foliage

As each individual drop in the sea
Comes together as a powerful wave
The land trembles and recedes at its wake
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The outside world can disappear,
With the closing of a door,
The muffling of an ear

It’s a small little space,
But it is my safe place

Many books cover my desk,
Papers with scribbles of thoughts,
Seemingly grotesque.

In one particular book I find,
A gathering of words to comfort my mind
It speaks of an outside world not known to me,
A world filled with a compassionate love that is carefree

I wonder if it could ever be so,
Should I take the risk and attempt to know?
I ask the other book and it tells me no,
A world awaits filled with intolerance and guns with hatred filled ammo

Which is fiction and which is not?
Perception makes the one the other,
And in my mind resides the words beneath the hardcover.

And if found in the world of intolerance,
I will try and love my brother.
And when this becomes too hard,
I will return to my small little space,
And find more words
This time however,
I may just read, and sleep
forever
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
When does it end?
It is all self-inflicted;
The pain I feel, the troubles I see;
I don’t want to wake up;
Afraid of what I might do;
Afraid of what I might think;
Escape is not an option;
Just alternative routes to the inevitable darkness;

I am alone in this world;
Fleeting glimpses of beauty, hope and life;
Seen through the glasses of hatred and disbelief;
It’s all self-inflicted;
This guilt and grief;
If I had the power to rid myself of it, would I?
My melancholy is my confidant, my best friend;
Comforts me when I awake, when I rest my head;
When I see happy people oblivious to the inevitable passing;
When I listen to a beautiful quartet;
When I read TS. Eliot;
There is no escape;
There is no light at the end of the tunnel;
There is no solitary truth;
There is no way, and there is no life;
Let death encompass me, and fill me with nothingness;
For surely, it is the least I deserve.
And masochistically have always wanted.

Many would call me depressed;
I cannot disagree with them, nor do I want to;
I just want them to let me go;
Realize that I have let myself slip from my control;
They say gods do not make mistakes;
I cannot disagree with them, nor do I want to;
I want to be alone loving is too painful;
Yet I crave the love of god;
How jagged are my thoughts?
They say love is beautiful;
I cannot disagree with them, nor do I want to;
For I have never experienced the butterflies;
I have never experienced the smiling eyes;
My melancholy is my wife;
And my only love, in this life.
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
We water it daily when we discriminate,
The permeating foliage of hate.
And It continued to grow,
Always feeding off the dying lovers’ sorrow

We cultivated the land beneath its roots,
With a dichotomy of false hue,
We made way for the dark shoots
Ignorantly and blindly with not an ounce of a clue

The foliage destroyed the shrubbery of love
And It razed the home of the peaceful dove

It began to reach out of sight,
High up above, and the hatred took flight
And day insidiously became night

It blotted out the once blue sky
The light struggled to shine through,
And the hope of a new garden had already begun to die

With ill intentions, we tried to trim it
With a dogmatic shear,
We said, “Join us, not them, lest the foliage consume you and all you hold dear”

Still, higher it climbed -
Heavenward near.
Snatching away everything that we hold dear,
And still we fed it with a callous fear
Until it became too late
And upon the dying land, lay our fate.

In darkness we did grieve,
Blaming each other
For that hopeful day,
We blindly threw asunder,
And now all bereave

We belatedly now see our blunder,
The love we forgot, the united we did plunder,
And the compassion that we pushed deep under.

If once together we had came,
Armed with a singular burning loving flame,
And Burnt away the Hate.
We shalt have woven in time -
The foliage’s deserved fate.

And If United we had tended -
The garden of compassion,
We shalt have the foliage its fate rendered.
Love would then be a reality and not something to be remembered.
But we sharpened our shears with Hatred,
And not Compassion, Tolerance and Love
And nowhere in sight,
Could we still see the remnants of the peaceful Dove.

And in darkness our hearts grow colder
And compassion was no longer to be found
He hath aeons back retreated over the yonder

And forevermore we shall look back in darkness,
And see, that with shears laced in love – the foliage would be a carcass
A winter shrub in all its starkness,
A **** that was easily plucked,
But it is too late, the land is dry and from it all loving humanity was ******.

The desolate, deep foliage encumbered forest
Bereft of care, not a shimmer of hope left amongst it

The last root of the rose is gone,
Hatred has taken over,
And it has finally won
And the last seed of solicitudes days are finally done.
I fear hate may win, if we allow our compassion and tolerance grow thin
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
Every thought you have ever had
Whether good or bad
Sprung from the recesses of your mind
A deliberating consciousness that is blind.

Every feeling you have ever felt
Was wound tightly with a deterministic belt

Every word you have ever written
Was written with a hand wearing a causal mitten.

Free-will is an illusion and always has been,
However, this is perhaps one elephant in the room
best left unseen.

Dualism is a false philosophy.
We are a causal system,
In a Universe governed by a causal piston.

Libertarian free will is a delusion.
However comforting it may feel to be free,
I had no other option that to write these words,
And be me.

“Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills.”
― Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms
In philosophy, the notion of free-will seems more wish-based than anything else.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
I do know that I don’t know, and I know I never will.
This is my fate;
All I can do is not project my insecurities unto other people and nature;
Not personalize everything that is impersonal;
Not corrupt my heart with hate
And trust the empirical mendacity of the universe.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
I call out for sanity;
But where is she?
Are you hiding in the ideas of others?
Are you standing behind the prophets?
You are as slippery as water;
I cannot get a hold of you;
I see you but cannot perceive you;
Is it because my friend folly so loves?
And you are a wicked *****?
Is it because I hate the truth -
But rejoice in the false?
Or perhaps I am too blind to see;
That there is beauty in unperceived reality;
Regardless of my insanity?
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The abstraction of Love,
The Silent Black Swan,
Interrupted by the White Dove.

In the Depths of the dark forest Swan searched
Far and wide, high and low.
For the reality of love
Only the White Dove could show.

Swan thought he knew all there was to know,
He wandered in solitude, as he watched the canopy grow

And one one particularly dark day,
He heard a soft whisper say,
"Still your thoughts my Love,
fret no more and do not be afraid of the dark,
It is me, Your White Dove"

And the Swan's thoughts stilled.
For a moment his mind no longer tilled.

The Dove drew gracefully near,
And the Swan's fear of solitude
Began to dissapear

Until it was no more
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Today, I let go
This morning I didn't know.
That it has all been a lie,
A portrait of love,
Drawn with deceptive dye

I was a fool to think it true
That I was loved by you.
I was blinded by the feeling of acceptance.
I was deafened by the sound of words

I thought I was more than a plaything,
More than a toy,
for your all encompassing personal joy.
I thought I meant more than that.

Now, I miss you
And am feeling overwhelmingly blue.
I think I miss the illusion,
Of being loved,
And the sedentary settlement
Of earthly confusion.

Today, I let go
And now I know
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
When will we be together?
This swirling vortex of consequence and chance;
Surely cannot keep us apart forever?
It seems the fear of being alone is mounting;
But hope is the only thing that is more powerful than fear;
So I will hope and not fear;
That the time is near;
When you will be here.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
The kettle and coffee calls my name,
I stumble out of bed,
Time is moving slowly,
Frame by frame

The heated water releases is gas, it lets me know the time is nigh
I hear a click,
Signalling the time for my caffeine high

My vision clears,
The flame of conscious thought sears,
"Its time to think!"
Out of the overflowing of thought,
My mind hears

Three sips, four
I walk outside, using the backdoor.

Headphones on, Shuffle to Satie'
Lighter snaps, cigarette ignites
My eyes are beginning to adjust to the reflective lights

What was I thinking about?
An overwhelming feeling of hope and joy surges,
"Oh now I remember!"
Everything else must wait
My darling Linda,
I almost forgot we have a Quote date.
A good friend of mine and I, share a quote every weekday morning, to get the mind going. It became something I looked forward to and still is to this day
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Its sunny, its bright
I struggle to focus on the sky,
All I see is the ever renewing light

Clouds here and there,
The light doesn't seem to care.

The troubles that we face
In this cloud laden race

Can be easily overcome,
if every morning
We renew our love,
like the ever rising sun

I love you.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
What is sanity but a healthy love for oneself manifested in which way the beholder sees fit?
What is insanity but an opened mouth and an imprudent beholder of faith?
The self-proclaimed members of sanity have the right to deal insanity its sentence.

By the majority of the populous claiming a vice as a virtue;
Does it become agreeably sustainable to the self-knighted moral being?

So who is sane? Who is insane?
I can only express to you that I honestly do not know.
Sane men could be sane because they hide their thoughts from others through prudence,
Insane men do not have this luxury, they reveal too much of their inner nature.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
I could call it all a lie;
If I knew the truth;
My outward appearance;
Does not reflect my inner disposition;
A mask for the grand play;
I am just an extra;
To this Wagnerian drama.

I choose to die on my feet;
And not live on my knees.
I choose to die alone;
And not live lonely;
I dance to forget;
Not to remember;

Too blind to see;
Too deaf to hear;
The reaper crawling near.
All hope is gone;
My melancholy rejoices, because it never took that long.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Where art thou?
My beautiful rose, my starry night;
Beyond the cloud-covered sky;
My confidant in this mad world;
The lover of my flawed nature;
I have something to share with you;
Something stirring within my soul;
Deep inside;
Hidden from the eyes of my mind;
But felt by the broken hands of my heart
Hidden from the closest to me;
But heard by the furthest away;
This desire unknown to me;
Will be fully quenched by you;
This pain I feel;
Can only be healed with the bandages of your soul
So where art thou my lover?
Time is running out;
I raise my voice for you;
But the world drowns out my shout.
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
I contemplate the meaning
of what it is to be,
I wrestle with ideas
And focus on the mystery.

The boundless touch,
The deep, swallowing blue eyes
Teach me much
And dispel my melancholic cries

Although life is a mystery,
And probably always will be
Your love is boundless,
yet intensely real to me

And for a moment in time
The mystery is solved
And around the boundless touch
My world eternally revolved
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Introspection breeds a loss of hope;
Like the moment that has just passed.
The more I think I know, the less I know;
Destined to fail in more ways than one;
Destined to do the things I know are not fit and well;
To injure those who are in need of a healer;
I will put clothes on my shoulder;
When the starving child next to me has no bread.
I will steal from the poor and give to the rich;
“Is there really anybody out there”?
My soul does not seem to care
But Alas! I am altruistic to the fullest degree
This is my universe, my experience and mine alone.
I, me, this entity that thinks, breathes and reasons;
Is not fit for its purpose;
If indeed there is any at all.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Fleeting images of life;
Rampant ideas of pleasure;
Snatched away by an unseen predator;
Hidden within my dark forest;
The canopy opens up and releases light;
False sense of happiness;
Deceptive illusions of hope;
I do not have the power to climb these withered trees;
And see something beyond the eternally dark forest
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
If what it takes to live is a stoicism and acceptance of my primeval comatose state;
Does it then mean I need to turn my animalistic nature into an illusion for the sake of my sanity?
Although, as the cycle goes, the illusion regretfully becomes a reality;
And what I tried to hide has grown exponentially since I last repressed it;
When the candle of persona fades; the light inevitably dies.
And, the inner beast has got me under duress
Justin Chapman Jun 2015
I once tried to rationalize
The actions of bad men
By looking at the motives
Behind the darkened den
Greed, Intolerance and Hate
The keys to an earthly gate
The iceberg that floats
Is similar to the man that claims he does not gloat
For beneath the surface lies
The true nature of man
A Beast in an aesthetic disguise
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
I sway,
between the dark of night,
And the light of day.

I wonder,
During the autumn breeze
And the winter thunder

I feel,
Illusions of joy
The pain that is real

I shout,
The whimper of solitude
As the land does to the drought.

What do I know, but what I do not?

I feel lost,
between the sea of sand
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The thinker thinks,
And the lover loves

He reads and reads all day.
She holds his hand and guides his way

He struggles with doubts
She shows him the loving routes

He contemplates the meaning of things
Her voice stills his thoughts, as it beautifully sings

He thinks life a puzzle to be solved
She shows him that around love it has always revolved

He tries to find purpose in mendacity
She comforts him with a compassionate voracity

He now knows that he may know less
She tells him not to worry and help her zip her dress
To my dear lover, thank you for always stilling my over-thinking mind. If love exists, and kindness too - I think I may have just found it in you
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
The illusion of strife.

Equality for all,
Dissected with a hatred serrated knife.

Us and Them,
Hatred's most beloved and cherished conceptual gem.

Us and Us,
Is all there is and ever was,
On our home, this cosmic spherical speck of dust.

When will this end?
When will the last scales of savagery be shed?

When will we unite,
Together as one?

Only when the scales of segregation are shed and done,
Can we take flight
As One
United as a species
Into the magnificent vastness
Of the dark cosmic night

“People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite"  - Nelson Mandela
Lets be done with this hatred. Its due time. Much like John Lennon did, I Imagine a world with no religion, racism, intolerance, bigotry and inequality. I dream of a world where I do not turn on the TV and see another act of savagery due to a differing ideologue, or see another person ****** the life away from another because of a difference in skin pigmentation. It is a dream I hope may someday come true.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Oh what a slippery thing you are,
Always near, permanently far

A tightrope made of sharpened glass,
I wonder how long whilst walking along you,
Our time will last.

You have taken many away from us,
And given us countless more
You are a maze that ends with a locked door.

What lies behind you no one knows.
Infinite love and joy?
Or never ending nothingness,
Akin to before the last memory before I was a little boy?

Oh what a cruel and capricious thing you are,
You number our days,
and push the memories of us afar.

After the final thought of us has been had,
We dissapear into the ever turning hourglass,
Just another forgotten grain of sand.
Justin Chapman Aug 2017
Today I miss you,
In fact, I always do
Outside the sky is blue,

But so is my heart
It longs for our start

The Dove and the Swan
Together, United, finally as one

The void is there,
And soon apart my heart it shall tear

And render Swan an abstraction of a man
And Dove’s ocean will stay and empty dam

But in due time,
Dove can flutter into my arms,
And I can embrace her as mine
The void will be no more
And again, life will flourish on the ocean shore
Flutter near my dove
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
A lifetime separated us,
A moment in time united us.

I don't want a time machine,
Here, now, this love
Fills my comforting dream.

The gathering of a Black Swan
And a innocent white dove
Move towards one another,
Not knowing how it will feel
Confusion, conflicting thoughts
Blinded by a love that burns brightly with zeal.

A lifetime of memories separate us,
A singular feeling united us.

I don't want a time machine
All I ever need is you,
The Dove of my dream.
Justin Chapman Jul 2017
Prophetic words come easily;
To a broken heart;
The truth that slashes and slices;
That pierces through all things;
Which where once held as the truth.
What is to come -
Is a gathering of what is and what has been;
Civilizations rise and fall;
The Sun rises and sets;
All that is living dies;
All things once thought of as immortal perish;
Even the gods rise and fall!
But the spirit of the times cannot be deceived;
This truth;
Is timeless.

— The End —