Sitting here
On this wall.
I wait
And wait
         And wait.

I stare
At the clouds.
I hope
And hope
        And hope.

I listen
To the birds.
I dream
And dream
        And dream.

I smell
The white flowers.
I believe
And believe
         And believe.

I touch
The cold ground.
I cry
And cry
       And cry.

It started off good,
almost perfect.
Then something happened.
Something always happens.
Walls went up,
a thick glass blocking me.
I pounded
pounded
pounded
on that thick, solid wall.
But you never seemed to notice.

We had something,
something good.
Then it was ruined.
It was always ruined.
The spark, gone.
That hot, fiery spark.
It faded
faded
faded
into cold ash, blowing away.
Slipping between our fingers.

I felt whole,
completely whole.
Then you emptied me.
I'm still feeling empty.
Tired of being hollow,
trapped inside; stuck.
And I'm screaming
screaming
screaming
Like a siren in the night.
No one awake to hear.

One thing I hate about today
Is no one can talk.
Somehow along the way
Everyone forgot
They forgot what it's like
To look in the eyes of the
Person they're talking to.
To actually see the conversation in the faces;
Not in writing.
What happened to make us think that we weren't
good enough
to say what we had to
In person.
Why are we so scared to speak the words
we so badly need to say?
But instead we hide behind the phone.
It saves us right?
We hide behind it because in person we feel useless.
No one realizes that you're more useless through writing.
People need to realize
That we can still be strong.
We can still say the words
That we feel necessary.
We don't have to choke them down
Bite our tongues
Or just simply keep quiet.
We can speak loud.
We can speak true.
But of course,
These are things I'll never say.

No one notices
The tiny pebbles.
How much space
they can hold;
How much meaning
They can possess.

No one realizes
That small things
Can be big things
They start of small
But grow, and grow;
Those small pebbles
Hold everything.

No one understands
That those pebbles,
Tiny as can be
Hold bigger things;
Taking them away
Sends huge, rolling boulders
Your way.

Dark and glooming
the clouds begin to rush
forcing hot into cold.

Lightening and thundering
the world begins to shake
with it's unsteady heartbeat.

Rain and hail
the ground turning to water
with the steady flow of tears.

Spinning and turning
the world moving too fast
suddenly out of control.

Quiet and calming
the clouds disappear
like nothing was ever there.

Shining and bright
the sun breaks through
leading us to a new life.

She hears the words
They sting
And remind her
Of all she'll never be

She closes the door
It stays closed
And reminds her
She lost again

She caves into herself
Alone in a corner
And feels the tears
the un forgetful tears.

Blue skys
So beautiful
Until they turn to storm
Filling with clouds
And treacherous harm.

Yellow flowers
So sweet
Until they turn to brown
Breaking with a touch
And letting you down.

Green trees
So bold
Until lightning strikes
Cutting off limbs
That didn't fit quite right.

Our kiss
So tasteful
Until promises were broken
Tears always made
Making everything change.

What am I feeling?
That is sitting so low
in my chest
that I can barely feel
the pounding.

What am I feeling?
That only whispers
to me
when I'm sitting alone
and empty.

What am I feeling?
That sneaks up at
weird moments
stealing my happiness
with a word.

What am I feeling?
That won't leave me alone
to breath
so I can maybe start to be
normal again.

When I see that dress
I hear the slow songs
The songs that pulled us close

When I see that dress
I smell the cologne you wore
The scent I won't ever forget.

When I see that dress
I see your eyes looking at me
The sight made my legs numb.

When I see that dress
I taste your lips on mine
The kiss that will haunt me.

When I see that dress
I feel the torture
The torture of knowing
That  it meant nothing.

Why am I the girl
who is always fooled?
Always happy...
only to be crushed
so suddenly?

You and I could be
But you don't even see it.
She is your blindfold.

Im still mad,
but not for the reasons
you're thinking.
I'm still mad for different
reasons completely.

I'm mad
that we couldn't be.
That you chose
to keep walking,
away from me.

I'm mad
that I let you play me.
Yes you strung me,
like chords on your
sad, lonely guitar

But mostly I'm mad
that you're still
in my heartbroken mind,
with me hearing that
sad, lonely song,
that you play so well.