i never meant my horrid thoughts,

to stain your outer thighs.

you took the stars,

you took your eyes.

no less, alike the heaven's sky.

so heavy, is that cloudy lie.

simple, still await an angel sigh.

a leader dropped bombs on the world,

when i fell out of love with you.

not for that, but,

because all the times you had left,

i consoled myself with laughter,

after loving aftermaths,

a fair chance, that left you mad,

but im still sipping shores.

whatever fits me back to square one.

i missed you,

the hours you were away.

the beautiful way you make me sway.

you say the things i can't say.

you make worlds out of broken things.

but i know you'll **** me some day.

my child couldn't ***** this flame,

every night a crying shame,

playing razor since 2016,

not afraid to not eat,

not afraid to not breathe,

i can cringe while i write and still read

i know how to keep my mouth shut,

while my hands do the talking,

all they do is lift a bottle,

my mouth is tired,

i know how to sleep like a baby,

and still feel like a liar,

how to shave my seconds with a

flick.

of a lighter.

now i feel lighter:

my favorite food is pizza,

i used to read,

i used to play [     ],

answer phone calls,

enjoy music without falling apart.

i could love without an ounce of fear.

the most painful thoughts,

are the most beautiful,

to those who can't understand it.

i'll never be a writer.

your book,

i'll never finish.

i'll space the words,

as wide as the heavens.

spend years for a moment,

that was meant for mere minutes.

i'm dying without a voice,
falling in a loving void,
holding onto helen's troy,
tried to find a truth in noise.

the sky you left behind,

the clouds and shapes,

i see your eyes.

each moon,

each night,

they hold my lies.

a soundless cry,

the world goes on,

one i loved with all my heart.

a pain that brought me to the start.

i swam in stars to lose you,

bleeding, but I'm still glad i met you.

fare well, i'll never be alright.

somehow I'll see you on the other side.

can't show what's on my mind.

just whisper something,

one more time.

some goodbyes are pleasant lies.

weary,


w


e


L


C

O

M

E


imtiredofkissingstrangerslips

did you know the love of your life,

would turn you into liquid courage?

to make it through another night,

the kind that hid from both your eyes.

fast forward to the night i almost died,

all apart, you stood on the side,

to this day i dont know why.

i was less of a man,

and something like a circus ride,

that won't forget the time of our life,

to be shoved into a bitter rhyme.

i wish you knew how i feel,
fighting my demons,
while missing you.
losing my job,
cause im searching for you.

shaking alone in our room,
reaching for our moon.
throwing my life,
like there's nothing to lose.

goodbye,
to suns i couldn't see,
so long to words you didnt mean,
the ones you said so lovingly.

good night,
to moons i'll never hold,
live long and grow old.

every night I drink,

i want to die,

but i never do.

i always just wake up.

i never planned to be there,
i was blessed and so unsure,
never thought,
I'd have my hands in your hair.
erase a thousand things,
take away your smile,
ways to walk a million miles,
thoughts i dream,
to leave behind.

a breath in the winter,

that summer would never let you say.

but tell me you love me,

and I'll be okay.

warm tears on a winter day,

certain seasons i can never forget,

but i won't forget May.

carry me, june,

far too scared to see you,

so let me be, i look to the moon.

let me love me,

and I'll let you love you.

scream until the doors close,
cancer kept inside a rose,
cancelled common prose,
keen and comatose,
demons swell inside my home,

suicide is not a joke.

only youth,
say 'when in rome'.

for miles,

my heart will watch you afar.

not intact,

just a mind's eye away.

for miles,

i will die in each desert's day,

i will lie in every frozen night,

without comfort,

besides the midnight sky.

I'm lonely, and I've got a bit of time.

do you mind much if i hold your life,

for a second or a lifetime?

I'll squeeze you in the daylight,

even harder at night.

by the time i leave,

i'll leave your ego bruised,

and your skin ghost white.

then tomorrow, call it a good time,

for a second,

or a lifetime.

enough to watch me sink?

until i put away that ******* drink,

how i pour it in my mouth,

instead of a thirsty sink.

enough to tell you,

when i want to leave,

to see a better side of me?

your hands, I'll miss,

for just about eternity,

some day I'll turn in the keys,

call it life,

let it be.

until then I'll just bawl,

to nothing but a white wall,

wishing i couldnt wish at all.

your hands were spades,

to dig my soul.

and what i saw,

i'll never know.

some company, while i grow old?

heavy love to make me fold?

neither,

just an empty hole.

she spoke on the shore,

and i heard nothing,

but an ocean roar,

forever asking more.

night time,
nineteen cuts on my arm,
stumbling to my car,
wanting more.

traffic lights,
brighter than any star at night,
pray, so one can end my life.

too quiet for too long,
trying to speak in song,
carrying cryptics,
to the ones i love.

a frightened moon,
saw a little bit of dawn,
not much different from dusk,
but the night took its awe.

my soul sung,
'take me home',
but the sun had its way,
and gave me just another day.

but i loved the moon,
it was always hers,
some day the stars will make it yours.

i drink to see your pretty face,
one i can't look at these days.
long to see your long hair,
if it's long,

if you're still there.

unnaturally comfortable,

belly full of alcohol,

makes a sharp sword dull.

i prayed to make it through the night.

like the child i once was,

who used to.

i'm not looking for evasive lies,

or things i lived without.

i just want to see myself get out.

our phones explode,
souls implode,
searching for meaning,
refusing to know.

i died before i met you,
broken lungs, my muted truth.

I didnt love,
to pull your hair.
i didnt love,
to hold your neck

i loved what others left.

no amount of sunrises,
no amount of chirping birds,
no amount of smiling faces,
will ever make it alright.

I'll take my life, eventually,
i gave away my love and friends,
the simple things that made me.

it's not like you to need somebody,
it's not like you to cry for me.
it's not like you to turn around.

i'd suffer just to see you once,
i'd suffer just to hear your voice,
i'd suffer just to feel a lie,
i'd suffer just to say goodbye.

you were right about the stars.

they look nothing like your eyes.

and that moon,

it has nothing to do with you.

spent my days,
breaking apart,
aching always,
bleeding heart.

i see you at the start,
screaming stop,
dont want to feel this anymore.

take your eyes,
your favorite words,
a famous turn,
never mine,
make it yours.

i miss your arms,
with naught to care,
loving letters,
god, who the hell cares.

there's some things in our eyes,

that we will never fix.

pray that each drink,

brings me closer to the stars.

I'll never know who you are.

know you were adored.

i stumbled in,

as easy as i fell out.

swiped your clouds,

when i wasn't allowed.

love is loud,

screams are louder.

silence is unbearable.

i wonder where you go,

drift away to the back of my mind.

carry my conscious,

making my lies.

pity my soul,

you won't write these lines.

i think about it all the time.

i have all that i need,

such a plan for my head,

all your words are just dreams,

where i wish i was dead.

for a second i thought you meant it,

like you used to.

i thought you would stick around,

but you didn't.

wish i remembered,

the last time you said you loved me.

but i was too drunk.

still some feelings in my soul,

all those hands i used to hold,

the briefest moments made of gold.

charcoal when i lost it all.

i'll repeat,
be a different thing.
drunk until i can't see.

I'll love you the same,
pity me but keep your sanity.
replace your face with petty things

in my dreams i swam to you,
currents kept me in refrain,
thought I heard you say hello,
greatest voice I've ever known.

funny,

how they put you in that bottle,

press you to my lips,

like the neck i would carefully throttle.

twenties, an infinity,

i could never follow.

i wasn't whole when i met you,

now i'm nothing,

and lacking the truth.

burning inside,

with an impervious noose.

drinks to see your silhouette,
sell your lies into your arms,
sightless, seeking self-harm.
sanity, a fake alarm.

a widower until my death,
breaking under every breath,
loved you to the very edge,
held until there's nothing left.

if only our worlds made more sense,

would you lay here,

instead of the other side of a fence.

i found happiness in emptiness,

every color illuminates the bottom.

shameless, shallow.

i know each word is madness,

giving up on the mouth that speaks it.

i see you in between the plains,

the sea softly saying stop.

nostalgic is your being,

i miss a dying love long decayed,

drinking just to picture your face.

the way you said my name,

hammered hearts remain the same.

I'll love it till my dying day.

your hair is the wind,
your heart is the moon,
silent and stolen,
footsteps that swoon.

i still hope that i can see you soon.

slowly learning to lose.
reaching for your cocoon.
drinking, seemingly to soothe,
swollen tears in this mood.

foolish words in this tomb,
ones you never knew.
loving you,
every grain in your dune.

and our words were impromtu.

grasping for a feeling true.

a fool who thought he was in love,
don't deserve the sounds she made.
shunned and raced from cave to cave.
in darkness, where a man was made.

once, the sun was her and her alone.
then she called from the moon,
i said I'll never be a sober man,
now i search for her lights on my own.