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Feb 2022 · 185
magnetic loss
charles Feb 2022
why does the world feel alone,

when you read what i say,

then you leave me alone?

what fried soul can atone?

this millennial foe,

such a strange thing to know,

when a fool feels alone.
Feb 2022 · 122
until you get tired of me
charles Feb 2022
she carries showers,

suspiciously meant to melt me down.

does she know,

she's all i need to stick around,

when my head hits the ceiling,

and my heart hits the ground.

her eyes replace all the sounds,

yet she always sees me come apart,

too ****** up to stare at stars.

I'll stand where you stand instead,

until you get tired of me.
Feb 2022 · 95
the reason you left
charles Feb 2022
all my seasons were a pain to you,

if only you had stayed for four or two.

my drinking doubled digits daily,

while i numbly watched you fly away.

i never thought it you to blame,

not a single moment, every day.
charles Feb 2022
hold still, while i fall into you,

i don't fall long, but i enjoy the view,

of something i'll eventually call 'youth'

loss is just the end of all growth.

but i still know what i do.

and i still write your name in snow,

hopeful i can change myself,

before stars and myself melt.
Feb 2022 · 124
stupid love (isn't always)
charles Feb 2022
when you came for my last name,

i drank a full lake,

wondering and wandering,

what such loving arms could take;

take my face and bank account.
Feb 2022 · 310
alien
charles Feb 2022
i only have eyes for the sky,

so bury me in the night,

broken where the clouds lie,

wondering how to change the time.
charles Feb 2022
warm pain in my veins,

unbreakable, shaking in the rain.

singing songs about your name.

warm pain in my veins,

unbreakable, shaking in the rain.

singing songs about the pain.

warm pain in my veins,

unbreakable, shaking in the rain.

trying to remember my name.

worn planes in a sink,

breakable, breaking, in pain.

try to stay sane.

worn out but surprisingly sane,

unshakeable in shame,

trying to stay the same.

warm home and embrace,

breaking through, someone says:

stay sober, don't change.
Feb 2022 · 105
quarantine couple
charles Feb 2022
i don't know how to hold you,

i don't know how to speak,

all this eye in the storm,

i don't know how to be:

you did drugs,

my soul was at sea,

we were perfectly imperfect,

but barely in seam.

i loved you in bookstores,

and I hate when you sing.

then you drifted away,

now i know what it means.
Feb 2022 · 101
loss in eight lines
charles Feb 2022
not the terror,

nor the screams,

could ever bring [     ] to me,

while i painfully change,

into someone i cannot be.

no ocean, no sky,

floating in the dead of night,

could ever contain this pain of mine.
Feb 2022 · 96
aquarium drinker
charles Feb 2022
i drink aquariums,

i stare at stars,

lean against my charcoal car,

watching blackened clouds,

drifting around,

hoping, with a heavy heart,

that you slow this spinning bar.

and when you do,

i'll stop dreaming of you,

or my charcoal car.
Jan 2022 · 87
trending and untitled
charles Jan 2022
staring stars,

gliding in dark,

finding comfort in arks,

you know who you are.

most of me,

i'm not put together;

yet you still stay,

and there could be no other.
Jan 2022 · 556
dreamer
charles Jan 2022
im still a dreamer,

but don't be fooled;

i'm seeking every thing but you.

trailing off in atom bombs,

at night, ignite the things i lose,

fall back to what i used to love,

maybe some day it's you.
Jan 2022 · 100
holding onto fire
charles Jan 2022
convince me it's a flame,

call me callously insane,

only loved ones recall my name;

only dying parents,

oldest friends,

lovers longing better things.

but my liver loves the bitter drinks,

as it catapults my life away,

where there's nothing but my words,

or so to speak.

until then ill enjoy the screens,

while my body's out of song.
Jan 2022 · 100
Looking For Apartment
charles Jan 2022
Imperfect Occupant:

Seeking Four Walls To Vent,

Always On Time With Rent.

Lacking Friend, Family,

(Roommate?) On The Fence.

Long Lease, Lost Romantic.

Carefree And Losing It.
Jan 2022 · 1.4k
the last time i saw you
charles Jan 2022
1) a bookstore in May,

2) your apartment in Maine

3) an airport in spring

4) random chinese food place

5) my apartment (2nd floor)
Jan 2022 · 87
starless
charles Jan 2022
all in all,

only stars left above,

all i can't change or create,

asking for phonecalls,

but they all spin away.

gone are the days,

i am asked if i'm okay,

now i just sit and think away,

every drunken thing i cannot say,

until stars have long passed,

then i say im awake.
Jan 2022 · 484
loss
charles Jan 2022
your sun-dried absence,

thinly layered in daylight,

then tonight:

all the waterfalls call to arms,

alarming my life, and yours, and all,

but none of these words,

truly describe my loss.
Jan 2022 · 116
i dont know
charles Jan 2022
hearts were meant to break,

i don't know if yours ever did,

but i know what it's like without you.
Jan 2022 · 101
when you arrived
charles Jan 2022
if you arrived,

i couldn't hold myself apart,

i'd split in to ten seas,

hoping you won't notice me.

duck my head in the bars,

like you used to use me.

I'd carry your breath to a beach,

stumble a bit,

and let go of your leash.

smell your hair,

shortly then, i show my teeth.

only a dream says you can leave.

but if you arrived,

i would paint ten-million lives,

just to live without a single one.
Jan 2022 · 126
flowers for my brain
charles Jan 2022
that blurry eyed blushing color,

paints the sky at the back of my head,

knowing limbs of mine are in pain.

pressed against you again and again.

but a whole army,

couldn't keep me refrained.

bolting waist deep in the trees,

searching for suffering and identity.

spraying words that staple me.
Jan 2022 · 82
fantasy forever
charles Jan 2022
i can dream my life away,

kissing moons and holding skies,

pretending black holes as your eyes.

lightning caves inside my mind,

fall asleep feeling fine,

shake, your hands,

thank God I'm still alive.
charles Jan 2022
awkwardly repellant,

of anything nourishing,

loving nothing but a cracked spine.

living useless unless you're upset.

i spend year-long nights,

watching stars spin across my face,

searching someone to stand,

that pathetic place you used to stay.
Jan 2022 · 537
the demon i leave behind
charles Jan 2022
hallowed is the ground you stood.

where the broken sits and broods,

learning time,

and every thing they should;

still,

hallowed is the ground you stood.
Jan 2022 · 393
deathwish
charles Jan 2022
deadly in love,

and substance abused,

turning mirrors into loss,

every night turning into you.

written words to signal stars,

always dreaming your eyes.
Dec 2021 · 68
endless
charles Dec 2021
endless nights by your side,

knowing nothing's there but night,

chasing love like it was wine,

holding nothing,

it's all right.
Dec 2021 · 98
the art of relapsing
charles Dec 2021
dig me,

tell me that I'm alright.

dig me away,

off this beach,

attached to the sea,

like an unlikable leech.

dig me a hole,

promise me six feet.

dig me some gold,

pretend it's pure happiness,

i know that it's not,

but it's still sparkly to see.

bury me,

married a million times,

committed to a single thing;

it promised me a million dreams.

but none as sweet as you, i see.

will you marry me,

without your life by my side,

I would promise the sun a light.

by the time i had dreamed,

only God says it's time,

his two eyes

piercing straight through my lies,

while i still give him the light.
Dec 2021 · 199
the woodcutter
charles Dec 2021
how long can an ocean be,

or a sky seen by eyes;

every second spent alive.

lonely as the bottom of yours,

but what you read was never hers.

she lives beyond broken eyelids,

promised truth.

i outlive my sordid use.

second chances live in trees,

while the woodcut slowly becomes me
Dec 2021 · 80
untitled
charles Dec 2021
i bomb my head,

swallow death,

just to fit inside my self,

but i can't stand the seams;

any addict knows what that means.

and if I ever said i hated you,

it was only meant for me.
Dec 2021 · 202
of lovers long past
charles Dec 2021
a broken violin inside my eyes,

only once you shed a tear,

my whole soul,

raining down for years.

can't stop what i can't control.

can't let you go at all,

but i try, like a broken fool.

my life knows nothing but your arms,

each day, i wonder what they were,

but im certain they weren't her.
Dec 2021 · 113
anniversary
charles Dec 2021
i'll remove my hands,

from the bottom of your heart,

losing sight of my soul,

while i swallow the poison,

posing to be the one you would marry,

like it was ever an option.
Dec 2021 · 137
all yours
charles Dec 2021
my heart is yours,

while you don't reappear,

losing all that time in your hair,

but you don't reappear.

I'm all yours,

but my heart's out to lunch,

choosing every thing you would love,

but you still don't appear,

so my heart is all yours.
Dec 2021 · 91
hearts dont mend
charles Dec 2021
I'm not afraid of the dark,

im afraid of your eyes,

of everything that left mine,

including you.

i pray someone can imitate you,

but nothing will replace you.
Dec 2021 · 69
the artist in your eyes
charles Dec 2021
do you see an artist or the drunk?

a dreamer, or someone,

who left their dreams to sink?

someone unforgivable,

without some loving arms,

writing words to warm a lost heart?
Dec 2021 · 375
north
charles Dec 2021
loss cannot **** me,

but i'll certainly change.

in love with myself,

is a dream i don't see.

but i'll keep heading north,

where a door could appear.

pray to god, see you there,

so i stay in this room,

replay all that I'll lose,

maybe it's a waste of time,

but it's better than a noose.

while i try to stay around,

just as long as there's room.
Dec 2021 · 90
the spins
charles Dec 2021
can you spin inside this room again,

to stop this ride or save my life,

I know you won't do either,

and that choice is only mine.

maybe i should stay in here,

and hope that blur turns into you,

or hope that I'm just drunk enough,

to believe that it comes true.
Dec 2021 · 109
the lover / the addict
charles Dec 2021
i hope you know, i pray for you,

as far as i can get from you,

I see when i was in love with you,

remember when i was losing you?

replayed it every night to get to you.

regretting things i did for you,

forgiving things you said were true.
Dec 2021 · 153
clementine
charles Dec 2021
i can't let you go,

you're more home than a ***** room.

i stomach you more than my fears,

feeling like my friends are still here,

but when i wake, they don't reappear.

you're my anxiety in the morning,

and my depression at night,

you're my hero when it's too late.

I love you,

even though you're just a thing.

but you took all i loved,

then you made it okay.
Nov 2021 · 106
5150
Nov 2021 · 1.0k
confetti for the blind
charles Nov 2021
kissed a thousand pretty sunsets,

just to float to the ground.

my heart's not the same,

when your voice isn't around.

now i can't recall it's sound,

you could appear like a magician,

on these apartment steps i adore,

cause your feet touched their floor.

but now im collapsing on mine,

like confetti to a blind.

maybe the moon will catch my eye.
Nov 2021 · 132
crazy enough
charles Nov 2021
mind on fire,

empty stomachs realize,

you aren't much of a man,

without a stable pair of eyes.

fall in love with the moon,

wake up shaking in the sun,

no one there, nothing won.

are you crazy enough to do it again?
Nov 2021 · 390
invisible palace
charles Nov 2021
close to being over you,

or drinking, not forgetting you,

or maybe just accepting you,

or things i used to do.

try to turn this palace,

into waiting rooms,

when drinking never got me through.

sleeping, I'm so terrified,

wake up lost inside a life,

i couldn't change, and losing mine.

i think about you all the time,

im trying not to, that's the point.

can't reclaim my heart as a boy,

but I still believe in a sun,

I'm slowly walking towards..
Nov 2021 · 220
if
charles Nov 2021
if
making mistakes a second time,

could I still see your life,

in the palm of some hands,

would it appear, silver plates?

or some love you acquired,

within cheaters and liars..?

did you know, i admire,

all the ways you aren't here,

or the ways i admire,

what once represents,

all the ways you're desired.
Nov 2021 · 78
marriage
charles Nov 2021
holding such coldness,

non-existent holiness,

but your eyes were such a

? ?

and i never was the same.
charles Nov 2021
you are the parking lot,

i can't forget, the friend i,

never meant to forgive.

a fiend that lost his head,

breathing, drinking to forget,

formally in love with a ghost,

an old home without hosts,

all in all, just a shade with no soul.

or a birthday basking in friends,

ending a life with no end,

sending love across states,

like a fool with no sense.

knowing no one can stand you,

giving up in the end.

or that star on your shoulder,

that could die and begin,

kissed against a headlight of friends.
Nov 2021 · 99
content
charles Nov 2021
in a state of peaceful happiness.
charles Nov 2021
going off on my phone,

never feeling so alone,

do all stars replicate a home,

singing out on the Square,

while you cried in my ears,

the ones we bought years before,

hanging onto my room,
Nov 2021 · 93
or
charles Nov 2021
or
a bit more,

bringing nothing back.

bashful sun, in love,

madness
Nov 2021 · 82
between fevers and dreams
charles Nov 2021
does a cloud make you float,

or a drain make you dream.

when you're stuck in a rut,

what fake fables keep you up.

in a minute, you're scared,

suddenly you aren't there.

i'm sorry for alot of things.

no matter madness makes,

embodied, impossibly fake.

an eye without an arrow,

fearing fame and some likes.

I miss my friends with their smiles,

and a handful of time.

i wish they could hear,

and i wish they were here.

amen.
Nov 2021 · 89
make a mistake (with me)
charles Nov 2021
i'll enjoy the clouds until then,

rain falling on your cement,

seemingly harmless, until then,

your soul falls apart,

i'll find a new start,

forgetting the people we are.


[Part Two]

a good man forgets,

leaving a lifetime behind.

loving something else,

readjusting his eyes.
Nov 2021 · 95
twelve invisible steps
charles Nov 2021
forever falling apart,

fading out with the stars.

addicted to the moon,

just to forget such an empty room.

but a couple of words couldn't hurt;

"something, something",

something about you being hers.

a fire is so bright,

before darkness occurs

there's no cure to that curse,

only time will prevail,

over living and learning.
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