a kin of mush before we met,

remain as much inside my head,

reborn in every word i ever said;

for where these things, they ever go,

i pray they find a quiet home.

to be loved is inevitable,

to stay sober is learned,

to hold both is a blessing,

but a lesson well earned.

tonight belongs to me,

a slow reminder just to breathe,

a giant step to feeling free.

i'll mourn the day your love will cease,

but soon i'll be a better me,

like green upon a growing tree,

i'll love the day our shoulders lean.

when life is on the great retreat,

it's you who stays and i that leaves.

when time is still, our eyes will meet,

so i can be a part of thee,

if love is lost, then sing to me.

the further that my body falls,

the less i have to hold,

reliving each season,

burning shameless in my soul.

your shining love it once contained,

such things my mind could not abide;

i loved to throw my youth to flame,

affixed to drain my broken mind,

a better soul for you was meant,

but when i toss this thing aside,

i'll be left with nothing but my life.

porcelain,

when its all that i'll see,

from hospital to sea,

whether im dying or withering.

porcelain,

could be then, could be now,

depending on my birthday crown;

it used to be cake,

but it's a cup of pills now.

i drink like a fish you can't catch,

while i try settling down,

covered in trees and out of town,

listening to seasons that aren't around.

i get sad at sea,

as long as its about me,

feeling nauseous and noisy,

I'm sure im just a mess to see,

i fall apart to pick me up,

i'll think of things i couldn't say,

i'll be my worst to feel enough.