i am barren,

i am further from you,

i am unhappy,

i am.

the amount of times i cried,

and you could not hold me.

the amount of times i cried,

and could not hold myself.

the amount of times i cried,

and could not hold myself together.

the amount of times i cried,

and could not hold you.

seagreen in percussion,

ant hills in heels,

inhaling all thoughts.

my thumb extended to a goddless sky,

while i smile to let go,

of such things that aren't mine,

but that once made me my home.

my heart, as it's spent,

will remain in a jar,

to preserve what it was,

but it's distance was far.

a blue sky at it's end,

becomes beautiful within,

quietly calloused, cautiously kept,

raining only for friends.

without you for two days,

still, i tip my head without shame,

nightly, draining life from a drink,

the steaming distillery lies in bed.

my veins are on fire,

i want to disappear,

anything to keep you here,

that i'm here,

shoehorned into stars,

giving up on my arms,

selling sins to my heart.

im a myth to my friends,

living fiend in the end,

I'm a mess without them,

but i will stay.