close to being over you,

or drinking, not forgetting you,

or maybe just accepting you,

or things i used to do.

try to turn this palace,

into waiting rooms,

when drinking never got me through.

sleeping, I'm so terrified,

wake up lost inside a life,

i couldn't change, and losing mine.

i think about you all the time,

im trying not to, that's the point.

can't reclaim my heart as a boy,

but I still believe in a sun,

I'm slowly walking towards..

making mistakes a second time,

could I still see your life,

in the palm of some hands,

would it appear, silver plates?

or some love you acquired,

within cheaters and liars..?

did you know, i admire,

all the ways you aren't here,

or the ways i admire,

what once represents,

all the ways you're desired.

holding such coldness,

non-existent holiness,

but your eyes were such a

? ?

and i never was the same.

you are the parking lot,

i can't forget, the friend i,

never meant to forgive.

a fiend that lost his head,

breathing, drinking to forget,

formally in love with a ghost,

an old home without hosts,

all in all, just a shade with no soul.

or a birthday basking in friends,

ending a life with no end,

sending love across states,

like a fool with no sense.

knowing no one can stand you,

giving up in the end.

or that star on your shoulder,

that could die and begin,

kissed against a headlight of friends.

in a state of peaceful happiness.

going off on my phone,

never feeling so alone,

do all stars replicate a home,

singing out on the Square,

while you cried in my ears,

the ones we bought years before,

hanging onto my room,

a bit more,

bringing nothing back.

bashful sun, in love,

madness