bury me with spirits i betrayed

ill fall wherever your name is laid

every second that I breathe

i will chip my life away.

i will drink

i will smoke

holding words never spoke.

redemption, ascension always slow.

self harm like a mark on a stone,

im proficient in being alone,

loving walls like my life's on a reel,

but all that's real is already done.

the fire made the mess,

but i still love you,

dont know why I miss you,

something missing from my soul.

is it addiction

or all those bottles on my floor

empty shells I adore

but our life always meant more.

im alone,

im a drunk,

something less,

than the one that you loved.

im a mess and much more,

I'm a son, was a friend,

im a stubborn door.

I loved more than myself,

but i still wanted more.

i am sorry and spent,

and my heart still pays rent,

but I'm moving without smiling,

slowly crawling to life.

but i dont know what I'd do,

if i ever saw your eyes.

if i could make you the glowing moon,

tying heart strings to a fool,

holding a thousand chances,

i'd still chain myself to loving you.

i loved you when my sky had greyed

before our bodies laid

before my feelings had a say

when every word I say

attempt to take a step away

from things my family couldn't be

with what i painfully couldnt be:

a sober soul from noon to eve

i miss the things i leave

i want some things I couldn't see

but bring me morning

I dont know where to be.

if the sky falls,

I'll watch the clouds fall with you.

see what the sun turns into,

wait for the moon to rise too.

but no season could sever me,

no winter would tear me from you,

i know not who you are,

but my child to come too soon.

the nights you would drink,

special seconds you spent sinking,

instead of dinner or simple truth;

never knowing i cant love you.