slowly poisoned,

in love with the clouds,

sunny days that are loud,

wont seem so terrible now.

i love you,

but for once its allowed.

one day you'll miss this sound,

when i feel like I'm not around.

i'd live another life,

to not know who you are.

I'd trade your face,

for a midnight bar.

the kind that blacks out the stars,

nothing will hurt worse,

than what i did to you.

no self-consoling,

ever came through.

i decided,

i dont want to know the truth.

whatever love is,

or what made me hold onto you.

you're my ticket out,

one i wish I could lose.

like a place of transportation,

would ever appear in this room.

cage me for years and call it soon.

with nothing but myself to lose.

how do i send you to the clouds?

when your life was ran into ground?

does it even matter now?

i saw you once in town.

some day I'll turn you into nouns.

something like love,

or something less loud.

be bold as a flame,

I'll never see you again,

but I'll love you in a flicker.

like a moment i couldn't trick,

but you're my favorite,

among such unknown company.

but its there,

like you're not,

I'll spend eternity unraveling,

this knot.

the white of a door,

never felt lonelier,

than your face imprinted,

from a long lost sun.

for a year i carried each second.

like a wreck,

who knows nothing else.

i still dream you sober.

wishing you could come over,

for a minute, be a lover.

all my dreams are three-leafed,

always missing a clover.

i called you at a gas station,

running from feelings and friends,

so selfless but as scary as demons,

choosing shaking over reason.