i loved you once,
but never lost.
learned to live oblivious,
pushed away, forgot the cost.
the beauty in my life i tossed.
living lifeless,
fed on loss.
simple, lonely,
albatross.

sorry that i let you down,
falling, getting drunk in crowds,
turning bottle caps to crowns.
i wish you'd stay, and stick around.

fast as a flicker in flame,
illusive as a quarter in sea,
tense as a hand at throat,
dreadful like anxiety.

i left you on a windowsill,
a better future, you could sell,
couldn't see it, pray ye tell,
repeating words into my hell.
wished some hope would come along,
materialized into your song:
'stop your drink and become strong',
oblivion was all I saw.
sorry that i never heard,
tested hearts i always feared,
said the things i wished you'd hear,
but love was never quite so near.

your wick struck through my core,
a small flame you adore.
but what of myself,
do I live without choice?
as i suffer in silence,
while the fire makes your noise.

my mind takes me,
like water in current,
so i grip your name,
to my soul, I will stir it.
lost to thoughts like maybe:
maybe large as a lake,
sometimes spread like the sea,
but your heart is my buoy,
and i call you, my baby.

hold on my arm,
settle my scores,
turn me to you,
muddle the truth,
tell me i'm used,
love when i lose.
nobody here,
settle with stares,
say not a word,
suddenly scared.
rarely a tear,
crosses my face,
busy with failing,
loving the chase.
choosing my words,
fill me with stress,
burn me at stake,
then take off your dress.