eating disorders are so hard to
Kick
because your eating disorder becomes your
closest most
honest
most
Vicious
friend.
your eating disorder will never abandon you.
it will never ignore you it will never
leave
you
ALONE
at the End of the day, it’s just you and her.
and I say {HER} because mine is a real *****.
your eating disorder is always there to
whisper-scream
in your
ear.
always
there to swim in your aching(empty)(toofull)
stomach
to claw at your skull to
break your heart.
she, my vicious friend, comforts me.
because even though I’m being
destroyed
ripped apart
at least I’m not alone.
hell, she even gives me an excuse as to WHY
I am
alone
itsnotmeitsmyweightnoonecouldeverwantafatgirl
itsnotmeitsmyweightthatkeepspeoplefromgettingclosefromLOVINGme
She knows me better than anyone— knows how b
r
o
k
e
n
i am.
as much as I ‘recover’
she is there— curled under my brain matter
like a troll in a fairy tale.
she is there
waiting
watching
counting
smiling
because i always come
back.
Written pre-recovery