You’re starving to be happy
but you’re not letting yourself
even come to the table.

It’s no one job to keep you happy.
That’s all on you
and right now, you’re not doing it.

You might be tired and exhausted,
but you have to find that little energy
and kick it on up.

But I think what happened was you got
used to being taken care of.
Someone made you happy.

You settled for that.
That's not bad but look
at you now.

You’re looking everywhere,
holding onto little instances
that rarely happen.

Remember that one time,
you did that one thing,
and you were happy,
for that one second?

Are you looking for a second
or a lifetime.

She writes in third person when she's hurt.

If she doesn't use "I" it never happened.

Although she hurts, it could never truly happen to her.

I am not heartbroken.
I'm broken.
You see, you'd need a heart to have it be broken.
But the naive immature person that I am,
I flung it around like it were a dancing ribbon
And whatever it touched, I fell in love with it.

But the thing is,
I wasn't always like this.
I loved---foolishly
I got obsessed
Got attached
Got denied
I was denied the love I should of had.
Because I never felt wanted
I never felt
I felt
Unwanted.

My dad died when I was 11
But he was dead long before
Because he taught me the crucial thing about love--
You don't need love to have a family.

You don't need to have love.
You don't need to love
You don't need love
You don't love.
Don't love

The messy thing about love
Is you see it everywhere
Our world revolves around it
And maybe that's what's eating me inside.

I'm obsessing over love
I'm attached to love
I'm denied love.

I want someone to just hold my hand because they want to.
I want someone to kiss my eyes because they only want me to see the beauty in this world.
I want someone to laugh when I fall but gracefully pick me up and wipe me off.

I want someone.

I want.

I want to feel love.
I want to love.
I want love.
I love
Love.

Because without love--- I'm just a fool with a pen in my hand trying to find comfort in what I don't have.

I want to tell you a story
That not many know
It explains why I write
It explains how I grow.

My life was turned upside down when I lost my dad.
I lost my best friend
I lost a piece of me
I lost that when he died.

I find myself looking for him
As I stare at the mirror
I pull down my eye and I smile real wide
But I keep forgetting what he looks like.

The only time I find him
Is the only time I write
He's like my secret muse
He holds my hand as I write.

I write to show my emotions
You have to read between the lines
You have to listen to what I'm really saying
You have to close your eyes.

I relate every feeling to him
The sharp pain I had in my heart
The nights I screamed and I cried
Just to have him back
Bu just as fast as I let out the yell
My emotions became my own living hell
Because I didn't write them down
To see how I really felt.

So I write down my feelings
And I rhyme them just right
Or I write little stories of the wanderer in the night
Because I wander then I hide
And I take out a pen and cry

So you ask me why I write
and I smile because I know why

I write to stay alive.

I have a right to say goodbye
Because I have a right to still survive
Because I'm not done saying goodbye
Until I've made him immortal in my eyes.

If I could
I could change it all.
Won't let you fall.
Won't let you fall.

I'd start it again
Won't make the same mistakes,
Can you be my friend?
Can you be my friend?

I'll be stronger
Stronger I'll be
If I know that you're mine,
Please don't leave me.
Don't leave me.

Come with me,
I don't want to feel like I'm missing something
And you know how that feels.
Don't leave me in the cold
In the dark with no hope.
You know what it's like to never have
That chill go away.
I want to be warm
Covered in your arms.
To feel like a little kid
That believes no storm
Will rain on her parade.
You won't ever be sad.
Trust me you won't leave me
Because my feelings for you are
The strongest they'll be,
Tell me I'm yours and
Forever I'll be.