I’m really insecure
I hide how I really feel about you
I keep coming back for more
Hoping you feel the same way too
I’m letting myself get torn
By not telling you the truth
My heart already feels worn
I just need to quit being a ******* *****
And let you see my view

The steady heartbeat of the wave
The sudden explosion against the rocks
The rough, sinking sand of my past
Then the smooth, calming sand of us
The sun hovering on the horizon
The silent stars full of lust
The moon glistening our reflection
The sweet echo of what is love

I never knew how much you would mean
And I never knew how bad I would feign for ya
But it’s just the heat through my veins
And the days of haze we blew through our brains
But uh, your valiant smile
The way your lips shape your face
It’s the sweetened eyes
That light up the place
I’m just caught in a daze
Overwhelmed with amaze
I can’t get my eye off you
I’m stuck in a gaze

If I spilt my heart, would you be the heat that makes it evaporate?
If something was bothering me, would you be there to listen to me elaborate?
If I scribbled my sins on every lie I hold within,
and lose track of my mind and not know where to begin,
would you lift up my chin and whip the tears off my skin?
Would you be the bright moonlight on the dark blue sea,
as we dangle our legs off the dock, knowing we’re meant to be?
Would you tell me our future from what you foresee?
We’re like a growing tree.
Even through the stormy nights, we still stand strong.
Over the years, our rings remind us of what went wrong.
It gives us strength and helps our relationship prolong.
We’ll show the world that two hearts belong, together.

I miss being the girl
The girl who had your heart
No *******, straight love from the start
No tears, just smiles, but now I’m torn apart
Because you have to have it your way
You never listened to what I had to say
You pushed me away, you made me feel betrayed
Now I’m just that girl
That girl who will never mean the same
That girl you wish you never claimed
That girl you accuse of why you feel ashamed to love again
I had to pick myself up and lift up my own chin
I had to tell myself lies to **** the pain within
I had to force my depressed lips to put on a fake grin
Just because I’ll never be the girl
Someone will come along and take that place
I hope when you look at her you see my face
And I hope you embrace every memory she has replaced
I hope you feel better now that she has defaced me
I miss being the girl
No pain, just love
The girl
The one you held above
No matter how hard I pushed and shoved
The girl
The one you were proud to say you loved
Now I’m just *that girl

Your presence disgusts me
Rusts me, rips me open and thrusts me
Forcing me to suffocate because you distrust me
No reason to hate, you force the lust in me
Pry open my eyes, tell me I must see
Your life meaning is a lie
Self-centered, heart cold as winter, numbly bitter but you still shine
The devils mentor, deep nail splinter, nauseous jitter but you’re still mine
Expect the worse, immerse yourself first, but your worlds reversed
Tilted, head to the ground, all your smiles turn to frowns
Your brain pounds from the sound of your scream
As your lungs fill with water, just drown and dream
You tell yourself it’s over but it’s not what it seems
The darkest hour of the never ending night sky
The brightest flower, the one that catches your eye
The most sin filled child hiding behind a disguise
It’s all just a lie, we’ll never understand
We live our hell here on earth and pray for heaven in the end

Your presence disgusts me
Rusts me, rips me open and thrusts me
Forcing me to suffocate because you distrust me
No reason to hate, you force the lust in me
Pry open my eyes, tell me I must see
Your life meaning is a lie
Self-centered, heart cold as winter, numbly bitter but you still shine
The devils mentor, deep nail splinter, nauseous jitter but you’re still mine
Expect the worse, immerse yourself first, but your worlds reversed
Tilted, head to the ground, all your smiles turn to frowns
Your brain pounds from the sound of your scream
As your lungs fill with water, just drown and dream
You tell yourself it’s over but it’s not what it seems
The darkest hour of the never ending night sky
The brightest flower, the one that catches your eye
The most sin filled child hiding behind a disguise
It’s all just a lie, we’ll never understand
We live our hell here on earth and pray for heaven in the end

Contemplation for days and hours
As all the beautiful flowers devour their worst enemy
Trying to defend me, no decency cause I tell myself I’m horrible
Gravity slams me to the floorboard of a moving car
Let me go, let me breathe
My reality deceives the truth that you and I were once meant to be
I overlook, my eyes force me not to see
All the pain, all the lies
Just *******
I despise you and your ******* *** ways
And I’m still sitting here in this haze
Of my sweet mary jane, that takes away the pain
Because she actually gives a **** about what I have to say
And she don’t question me
She smooths the depression out of me
There’s not a doubt in me that I won’t see better days
You’re in the past
There’s no way we would have been able to last
But I be me, I do me
I don’t give a **** about what your eyes want me to see
They see what they want to see and I be what I want to be
I laugh at your failure to attempt to change me
I’m invincible, not dispensable
You can’t just use me, I’m insensible
Good luck finding someone as valuable as me
There’s no next time, there’s no meant to be

Days pass by but we’re still standing here
Whispering our words into nothing waiting for something to appear
Distance breaks us apart but our love fixes the broken pieces
And as the days go by the hope slowly decreases
But if we keep faith then one day our wish will come true
I couldn't imagine living this life without you
We have tried too hard and been through too much
Dreams can’t even compare to feeling your touch
Fingers crossed, staring at the moon
Drawing my life into a cartoon
Making the impossible reality
But the distance kills the actuality

Shadows of the past gently walking around me
Surrounding me, teasing my soul with hatred from their fatality
Lights out
I’m not what you want me to be
I don’t have your eyes
I can’t see what you want me to see
Confused, running in circles around my fake reality
It’s sad to see, tears from my stressed mind raining down on me
Pounding my heart full of guilt forcefully
Drowning me into the ocean
I’m not what you want me to be

Clueless, full of oblivious reasons
Seasons washing away unknown regions
Lesions inside my soul, you’re teasing
Seizing, forcefully squeezing, my heart
Torn apart, ignorantly smart, but senseless
Defenseless to your love, push and shove
Haven’t lost balance, surrounded by absence
Too many years since, love differenced the equation
Self persuasion, wondering where you were
Noticing the abrasion worn on my heart, epiphany
Lacking dignity, imploring for your sympathy
Running in place, suffering from anguish
Losing hope, praying for vanquish
Heart losing strength, this isn’t the end
Exceedingly forcing myself to pretend, it’s done
I have won, I’m strong now
It’s over, I’m gone now

Your words secretly lure me into your heart,
an art to restart,
my life from your point of view.
The tears of my past evaporate,
to create,
a life where you set me straight,
as my heart slowly inflates, as I fall in love.
I hold on tight,
slightly fright,
but your smile excites me letting me know it will be alright.
Explaining to myself that it won’t be perfect,
you have this effect,
that disconnects,
my brain from my heart,
as my heart takes over the whole aspect of love.
You,
sweet with a high irritability,
with the agility to catch me before I shatter on the ground.
My fragility,
quickly erupts as your arms curve around my flexibility,
telling me I have found, the one.
But even through the storms,
my soul reforms,
to make me a better person,
not only for me but for you.
As it transforms,
it informs us,
that our relationship is something out of the ordinary,
that we have worked hard to pursue.

As if all the solitude around me suddenly burst,
into a world where you and I rehearse,
the lines we must say to keep each other going.
Where the only thunder we can hear is our hearts beating,
silently competing,
defeating the fact that we’re steadily cheating,
to keep the lie away that this moment will last forever.
And as we debate that one day it will end,
we pretend to live a life where we defend,
ourselves against the people we befriend,
where all I do is constantly offend, you.
And as I get on my knees to pray to a god I don’t believe,
I quietly tell myself I’m wrong for all I've done.
Before I get up and leave,
I thoroughly perceive,
life, as it is,
before I’m gone.