It isn't so much
broken, as muscle is
unlike bone and
does not fracture cleanly.
It will not heal completely,
when damaged, no matter
how well it is set.
Bone calcifies to mend itself,
and adds new minerals
and elements to make it stronger yet.
Muscle, however, turns to weaker ends
that lack its own elasticity.
It mends itself with collagen,
and becomes more prone to injury.

Weary as the night you first walked in,
the glances we shared,
but our intentions were impaired.

Glasses stood half empty,
reeking of alcoholic drinks,
devious plots behind hazel eyes,
the drunken monster -- released.

The slow dance you watched,
my body curling with the beat.
The lights and the shadows,
crept up about my feet.

Now cut to scene two,
where it's just me and you.

the lonely night has come to hold me,
the stars pretending to be clear,
the death of said loneliness,
it didn't pass here.

the fixtures on the ceiling,
seemed so pleasant at the time,
but while you kept me on my back,
the knife killed me over time.

I couldn't look into your eyes again,
without seeing the devil's soul.
I couldn't give you one chance to walk with me,
I wouldn't, I know.

The subconscious voice overbears,
always warning me of you,
I turned to you and loved you,
and what did you do?

She came to me in a dream,
on a long and sleepless night.
A vision, it would seem
of a world I had left behind.

And I wonder from time to time,
I wonder how she is.
I wonder if she’s alright,
If she’s happy with the life she lives.

People come and people go,
They walk right in and out of your life.
Some mean more than they’ll ever know.
Some haunt you in your dreams at night.

And I still think of her sly grin,
and that sparkle in her brown eyes.
I miss crossing her path now and then,
and holding her in my arms so tight.

How could one so very small,
so frail, and meek inside…
Be the first that I recall,
such a big part of my life?

And I hold on to times we shared,
and think of that world I left behind.
And never once regret I cared,
for that girl I’m without tonight.

Of all my past, I miss her most.
Yet I stay my tongue, and tell her not.
It’s something that she may never know,
but I hold her still, near in my heart.

My love goes out to that browned eyed girl,
who haunts me in my sleep.
To the one who is no longer in my world,
but means so very much to me.

My heart goes out to her tonight,
wherever she may be.
I may have cut her out of my life…
But she’ll always be with me in my dreams.

In another life
I might have been somebody
you could love.  You might
think such speculation
is foolish, but it is not
for you to say what
will become of the memories
we never made. How can you feel
secure in a role so devoid
of certainty, when you cannot
compare the paths you chose
not to take? Fairy tales
never lend a voice
to those the prince
could have loved
but left behind.

A lonely soul; Abandoned young
Deserted by the ones he loved
Passed along; The odd one out
His bed each night, another couch
One single grandfather took him in
The only one that he called kin
He moved in; New kid in town
Soon got tangled with the wrong crowd
Drugs, Parties, Late night fights
*** and *****; Nothing was right
Out of control; The law cracked down
His new home-A lonely cell
Locked up, stripped down; His only friends
Cold floor and bars; Paper and Pen
His body trapped for his wrongs
His heart set free by his own songs
His poems, words, thoughts, and fears
Collected; Written; Throughout the years
When he was out, shared them to her
He took to her as his own mother
Good for so long; He tried so hard
Didn't want to go back behind bars
The drugs and *****; They took their toll
Was so high; Yet falling so low
They said he'd die if he didn't go cold
But his sin had too much a hold
Died in his sleep; Could have been saved
If only he'd lived another day
A beautiful soul; Sadly gone
Leaving a tender heart alone
Elderly soul; Alone at last
Ninety-three; His life's fading fast
His only tie to this cruel world
Was a young boy filled with hurt

The tattoos, piercings, and hideous scars
All that he acquired behind bars
Were on the outside; Nothing more
Than another note added to the score
It's not the parts, but the whole
Not the body; But his beautiful soul

It scares me when I remember exact dates
From exactly a year ago and what they meant
Then isn't anywhere near what they mean to me now

A year ago today in just a few hours
You were handing me a dozen flowers on my front porch
And telling me how glad you were I was yours- forever

We overused the words I love you
And made promises I should've known we'd never keep
But i had fallen head over heels in a love so deep
I couldn't see a way out

Nor did I want one bceause for once I was a princess
You would've given me a crown if you had thought I wanted one
Instead I just wanted you to hold my hand in a crowd

Flaunt me to your best friends as the best in town
Because it was a feeling I had never felt before
I was used to back doors and stolen kisses
from boys not worth my time

Now for the first time in my life I had a boy
Who was more then proud that he was mine
And whos love was more then one of a kind

Every moment that I spent with him was an excitement
Whether we were vanadlizing our names under bridges
or just laying in the hammock in his back yard
while he taught me the names of the stars

Exactly a year ago today he told me he loved me
For the first time- with his arm around me
By the lake- just like the lyrics of a Taylor Swift song

A song that later became my anthem to our relationship
As we screamed the words to her new cd out the windows of my jeep
He wasn't embarressed that he knew them just as well as me

But just like with all loves we had our fights
Screaming that lasted deep into the middle of the night
When I couldn't sleep because his angry words haunted me

He told me he hated me and tore me down
For simple things that seemed to just slip my mind
I never meant to instigate our massive fights

Somehow we always ended up both crying into the phone
Begging eachother to forgive the other, and soon we would
He would end up driving to house just to give me a kiss

To take away the pain he had ensured
But now there is a pain in my heart he can't take away
Because he isn't here to do so

The pain of him leaving is the worst I've ever felt
And it leaves me dying- crying and wishing I was dead too
But I have more then him to live for, so I push through

A year ago today I promised him I'd never leave
And he promised me the same but now he's gone
I keep my promise every day when he shows up in my memory

For no matter how long it's been- I still can't let go of him.

In response to your letters, all together,

Your love forever kept in my drawers, pretty whispers on paper

In exchange for the pieces of your heart I keep in my room,

A little piece of me for you.

You were mine before you knew me
You were a song I already knew the words to

And when my eyes first shook hands with yours,

I heard that sweet melody play.

I was yours before you had me

My Soul forever tattooed with love for you

A throbbing that kept me awake at night

As my heart screamed your name.



Two fires burning so brightly together,

It was rushing, it was fervent, it was passion uncontained.

It was heat on my cheeks when you kissed my teeth

And declarations of love filling the darkest nights.



It was the goodbyes crushed together tight

Clinging and kissing like we were dying.

It was your fingers fitting perfectly in mine,

It was sweaty fire nervous in your bed.



You opened your hand and offered me the world,

You kissed my neck with promises of tomorrow,

You wanted to walk beside me forever

But I only wanted to fly.



With you I grew stronger,

Without you I grow stronger still. 

Young love too beautiful to understand, 

Two lives tangled together by coincidence or fate

Violently ripped apart by infidelity,

The Flesh's betrayal to the Soul.

Maybe our paths will cross again

But until then all I offer is this;
This letter perfumed with soft kisses and memories of yesterday,

Ghost finger tips tracing my backbone, 

I breathe in the scent of your skin

And wonder.

look at the stream of life, the
streaming of consciousness,
each in their own contained,
Untouchable
bubble. their private world, heading
in one direction, toward

One destination.

yet separate, disparate, diverging,
Disassociating. Why is this? as
machines show no recognition, so
too, is the car’s shell aptly
assumed; purposeful, intent, yet is this
humanity?

oh but there is not time to
Stop. to think reflect muse wonder for,
the stream continues, rushing…
flashing… by, in a droop, a mere
flutter,
of the eye. is this an

Escape?

the final great escape? or just
Life
as we know it.

I like looking at your face.
The colors appear
to me like a
soft glow.  
Even the shadows
and the darkness
under your eyes.
Darker than
your cheeks.  
Your lovingly flushed cheeks,
complimenting the shades of your eyes and lips.

Your lips. Your perfect, perfect lips.
I looked at your face and told you
"Perfect"
and you said,
"Nothing
is Perfect."
And I told you I didn't create that idea intentionally
That the word just
comes to me
again and again.
I didn’t ask but it just keeps popping in,
saying 'hello' to my mind and telling me
that "Perfect" is correct.  

Every time I
look at you "like that"
––the way I do when you ask what I'm thinking––
I marvel at your complexion,
the assemblage, construction,
melding,
artistry of you.

Here. Here is what I am thinking:

I think of an artist––
Someone who sketches.
Someone who draws.
Not with charcoal. Something more fine.
Dark pencil, maybe. Or a quick, sharp pen.
Richly dark
Purposeful and Exact.
Because your lips are drawn
with perfect, simple, sharp symmetry
as if your artist knew
what was wanted
what was needed
and drew. Then left
because there was nothing more to add.
No,
if he left he must've come back
to look at you some more
like I do.
The quick strokes,
the genius behind his hand.
The brilliance of a movement of ink on canvas of skin.

Your lips are complete in their famously simple,
touch-and-look-how-kissable,
delighted,
red, red lips.
Your lips and cheeks go well together.
And your green-yellow-maybe-brown-too
eyes
With your naturally dark black eyelashes.
Straight.

The same artist who drew your lips
outlined your face.  The lines are the
same. The style has forethought.
The skill used was confident and assured,
your artist.  I can praise your artist
and do. Amazement
and I see how you study me
as I watch.
You can see me taking you in and I
like how we can just look at each other.

I like just to look.

Sometimes, yes,
I think other things...
but often, so often,
it is this.
I
contentedly study,
observe to understand
and embrace your being…
The more I look
and the more we feel
each other,
the closer I think I am
to reaching your soul.
Your base-level.
Soul.
... People should be more hesitant
in using that word.

It is used
too lightly,
too readily,
too frequently.
I doubt people
know a soul
as often as they think
they do.

Intimacy
is different.
A soul
is different.

But that's what I'm interested in.

I've gotten glimpses.
I am comfortable
around you.  
We have a lot of fun together, don't we?
Huh?
But I like
that we can just be, too.

So.
That’s something I think.
There.
And I wish I could draw for you or paint or cut but writing is my medium, my form.

So I describe for you
how I can.
What I can
in words.