I woke up at the end of the line.
The new section of the track
brought me to party town.
A man was sitting next to me.
He smelled of *** and fake lemons.
A variety of things cluttered around him.
Two lottery ticket stubs lay on the floor,
one partly hidden under an old Michael Jordan shoe.
He won four dollars.
A mobile phone lay
trapped under a cage of fingers
on the seat beside him.
It buzzed a few times, he didn’t move.
I checked the time,
11:14.
Perfect, just another half hour ride home.

Secrets pattern my skin,
Purple, blue and black.
Starting with cotton candy blooming,
Ending with music locked in sunset.
Each of these secrets are printed with lips,
Scattered over my body like dying paint splatters;
Starting in my head,
Curling across my goose bumps and
Pooling into my toes.
Sometimes I shed my patterns,
Making room to gather more.
The war paint doesn’t stop at the face,
It runs down like fragranced snow,
Soaking my collar through.
My delicate little secrets
Never wash away.

Breathing sounds better in pairs.

Musical talent, no matter how minimal is appealing.

Secrets are best kept for duck ponds on rainy days.

Clothes are expendable, experiences are not.

There is always an exception.

Dreaming is not only for the sleeping.

Nothing is better than waking up feeling rested.

Petrichor will always cheer me up.

Being weird on public transit should be on everybody’s bucket list.

Lying in the snow is the most beautiful sound.

Fire is just another word for God.

You’ve been here since I was young
Holding my hands,
Teaching me how to play alone.
You followed me wherever I stepped
In and out of school,
Balancing on the fine line of family,
You wasted no time diving into love
Even though you can’t stand water.

When I’m solitary I can’t shake you
You cling to me, smelling of gasoline
My fingers twitch,
You are toxic,
You separate me from normal people.

I hate you
But
I want you wherever I go

Devour me from the inside out.
I don’t mind if you last long,
But I need you.
You love nothing more than running
Through forests and fields while I watch.

Half the time you’re an aphrodisiac,
But most of the time I can’t differentiate
Between horror and euphoria.
I can’t let you eat everything you encounter
Leaving burnt memories in your wake.
I’ve become your obsession and you mine,
Together we have memorised the play called life and
The picture titled death.

God is just another name for fire.

I have nooses hanging from my ceiling
I’ve made all of them
With fumbling fingers in the rain
I’ve strung them to the rafters like a one hundred stringed guitar

When I get home I’ll make one more,
There’s one for every night I’ve spent in hiding.
It’s raining; I keep my lips closed.
Maybe I’ll get the rope wet,
It will rub harder between my hands.

I think it’s you,
My hands muddle in between flannel,
I’m frayed at the edges
And it hurts good.

I light up the rain
Refracting all over the window
In my corner sheltered in hopeful wallpaper
You keep me secret.
                                                                                          Hi

I keep my lips closed.
It’s cold you know,
My wrists don’t like showing themselves.
                                                                             It’s been too long

Tonight I’ll add to your waterfall
All wrapped and waiting
For a thousand pretty birds.
Lovingly stealing my breaths away,
Tiny ****** roughly holding on.

                                                                              It really hasn’t
No
It really has,
Since you’ve been away.

                                                                     I’ve made stars for you.
I should stop,
Every night I say I should.
But counting my splinters reassures me
I’m good at something.

                                                                           I need to tell you,
                                                                                   I’m done.
I’m good at ending,
But you’ve beat me to it.

I have all the time to choose from,
Hidden away safe, with me.
Suspended in the air, I am at risk
From myself, from my pendulums.
                                                                                *Goodbye.

My life is made of paper memories
Connected by dust motes,
Eclipsed in tiny dates,
Strung across the sky.
Burning at the edges
Because it refuses to rain.

The soaked windows
Just remind me I’m blazing,
Perpetual melodies mixing,
Strangling me with their complexity.

Only the night knows of the stars like me
Staring at the Polaroids suspended from the clouds.
Between you and I,
I haven’t really stopped gasping for fantasy.
I live lungs deep in sleeping,
Only stage one of waking up.

With eyes closed I see your shoes,
Matching mine
Mouth hiding behind freshly cut sunshine
Protected like a smuggled dove in your hands

All my breaths are made of
Other people’s words,
Melting into shapes
To smear into my heavens.
Holding firmly in place by my temples,
A creature of me.

One day you’ll grow human, but
For now I’ll be drifting,
Playing with sails
Like old rolling grass.

Someday you’ll see me outside this window,
Curtained by rain
I’ll be flowing between the pages,
Waving at your smoke,
Camera in hand
Hanging up our pictures.

I coat myself in fire,
It licks all my imperfections
Covering me from eyebrow to ankle
Vibrant like firework animals
Dancing on every inch of skin

Dragons eating each other’s tails
Tattooed onto me with hints of cinnamon and
Sweaty gold that sits under my skin.
I hunger for the heat
That eats at my hair

But the ice inside me
Fills all the space
Crawling into every bubble of air
Surging through my blood like breaths
Pushing the warmth away.

Fog rolls out of my eyes and ears
Lips, suffocating blue
Pressed between two shells
I reach out,
Fingers and features melting.

I have holes in my armour
Letting tiny snowflakes
Float out from between my eyelashes
Waltzing like summer lanterns
Dissolving in the whites of people around me.

I spew frost
With every icy word,
It drifts up from my stomach like a large satin cloud,
Even when the crystal lilies melt on my teeth and
My skin glows like embers in the air.

I should find my mould
A slot in a deck of fanned out cards
Filling out the colours

Settle into me