Made it to other side, turning

over each blank pair of pages

like story book lovers determined

towards happiness,

but is that not only for endings?

yet it’s no surprise

with open eyes — still silently blind

pathetic but that’s just how

its been

Memories are like seasons―coming changing going dying

Feed me! Feed me! Winter is here to stay and Believe me when I say it’s an icy cruel cold World out there no matter how giving Mother may seem. Still a barren boring desert out there, so collect what you can my fond familiar Enemy. Disguised as my only friend. Fetch fodder for the Pigs because we are starving—it’s going to be a slaughterhouse. scrambling, sweating, searching for anything I can find from the Fruits of Compromised concrete wastelands. Collect what you can. Look to the tree trunk Tops and climb and climb, and you will see colors. brilliant oranges, bleeding reds, burning yellow light shining onto the Last of what tree trunk Tops are reluctant to remain. Wildfires. Supreme ruler, I bow down, “May I kiss You? May I kiss You just this last one time and I swear I will go”. I have kissed God, and there is nothing more boundless than a kiss from God. Prisoner! Take the prisoner away! He is ****** to Eternity for his Temptation, truancy, and treason that has been committed against his own flesh and soul. regrettable Temptation, malicious self-harm—it’s going to be a slaughterhouse. Although this is the history of the world, and for all of existence we have come crying onto this Earth hungry like lions.

The kaleidoscope currents sing out my chest, triples, ripples, diving deeper to the gold. Treasure the purple folds and start down the hallway running walking falling. Still falling, Touch it,as if you were there. cheating death, pupils scream pitches of black unseen, forgetting to exhale though remembering every breathe. A fish swimming in his bowl at rest, watching eyes, bringing yourself down to proper size, swimming, loving the two way glass lies. What was everything is nothing and what is nothing is the born beginning of the end of the journey, living in such a hurry, still shooting off, silly star you’re blind, look he’s falling behind still tracing the lines which mock your dust that tickles of what’s left of my body, which is landing now, come down now, do not wonder why, but how each step is a unwrapped gift, in case you missed the misleading misery you must make most of the ride up, and live. Give. Grow. Learn. Yearn. Strive. Rise. Stumble, but be humble for each time you will stand taller than the moon’s melodies which sing the silly thought you just forgot. A song to bring you home.

DecemberDreamer
I’ve fought the give and go sensation and the suited man on my shoulder hunched under the flickering light post divided—drawing stale smoke trails. Reflections wreak imperfections living in present dim dimensions lit liberations tinted temptations longing for lost love as fickle perseverance ****** me I’m dreaming. Poised stars seaming secrets of wisdom tell me what do you know, where do dreamers go, how much further below twinkling upon the silent tear drop as she goes forgotten desires follow as so without a sound—worn wanderer waiting to be found. My thoughts scream loud but my arms and legs are mounded to my body my gift granted chemical sins straining my soul 20 dollars to sleep pay the toll watch your step 6 feet holes lined in rows of tales however years old and yet here I am the one waiting wasted without a hand to hold. Dearest distraught darling december dressed in gold.

Once it’s written it can’t be forgiven

I let go with such weakness, I am weak and

I can’t hold on

Only briefly as moments,

but my how time flies by no matter

how unusual it seems — what’s achieved

until mourned memories

meant forgotten

find their way back unto your lap

forgive me again

Had this feeling once before
bare blank feeling what a bore
looking to the door
staring at the floor
Had this feeling once before

When your hope runs dry
kicking up dirt
keep on looking to the sky
don’t know what you’ll find
cry a silent cry
When your hope runs dry

Setting down this road
footsteps steppin’ real slow
don’t know where we’re gunna go
Setting down this road

I am coming on the rise
there is something in her eyes
you just got to realize
can’t you see it in her eyes
I am coming on the rise

When the time has come
let it be undone
depths unexplored together and run
When the time has come

and then I felt so alone
the moments where decisions veered then vanished to a place once called home
without a thought and a distant destination to go
when even you yourself does not come to know
though faith and a big heart grow
while as you know the earth grows old and the size of world grows smaller and my sense of being is lower than low
the tendency of your thoughts compare to the sound still sea, blue infinity, deep sincerity
like the morning brings clarity after the night moon releases you into sought after sleep
and we’re free again and again you’re found and humbled
existence, I am, we are to be

I look out the peek hole, how obscure; everything is so small on the other side of the ancient blue door. And with a world so dark you would think the light’s shining rays would be so eagerly compassionate to leak its way in. I would rather fight than hide, for all that has ever disclosed light unto my destiny, even still I remained blind. The past is sequencing me like a storybook that has already been written. Bitten into the forbidden fruit too many times, in excess—his stomach cannot muscle such atrocities, diagnosis him with food poisoning.

Recklessly disputing against my own words, desperately reaching for whatsoever crawls under my nose. Well, I suppose I have managed as you can see. In a panic somehow I was able to scavenge up a couple of good things. It is about time I pull my own weight, time is ticking, and nobody is waiting on you. Master fate your late, eternity does not hesitate ither, and I have steered off the path for quite awhile—opportunity, hope, trust in you—I am late, but do not make insinuations, do not count yourself out just yet. Have you forgotten who you are? Possibly so, I find the present as good as any to give myself another venture to demonstrate, moreover discover, just why I have been granted to come along solely for you, master of fate—ready, set, explosions.

Comfort. Drifting. Waiting. Wasting
Somebody I left behind, pulled out with the tide into skies spying peaking to a sea of crawling clouds— can you see me in the searing silence, withdrawing whispered sounds on my finger tips, I feel my consciousness on my tongue and with lingering lips I taste ten thousand dreams I’ve had of you falling further into the great blue bane. As you do. What were those dreams, that ship has set sail, but there are lighthouses I see looking out wooden panels placed around edged white walls, the dull light found there, found here, found behind rocky rocks, nothing the moon cannot hide, shed a tear on me moon, like new stars born red desires on your white cheek, I wanna lay at night, without reaching to myself, let it happen, breathe, breath less as my effort, release my regrets, and pronounce myself, comfort

Burnt wood, stained path toward the expanded darkness

Trickling curiosity, misbehaving feet

Tree branches waving, ripples marching, step into the fogged abyss

Stumbling laughter, eyes wide, slowly my thoughts slip

Limestone gleaming, the beauty is teasing, the brick house is crumbling

Bigger than me, I’m finally free, lost in the mist forever will I be.

She wants to travel the world

Held in her wandering head

Protects each word

left unsaid

she folds, oh she folds

Like a poorly drawn map

Or an old wrinkled note

I am the sea

She is a boat

Told to stay afloat

Float baby float

A bullet in bloom

Shot in your dark—

barred off old crowded bedroom

but you’re still the only one

My one and only

flushed out sun

_________

Why do you cry

Cry just to fight

Fighting till the dawn of night

Hiding all your light

Just to shine by day

_________

But oh how you tremble

How you tremble

How you tremble

Trembling

Cannot hear, feel, or speak

Breathing is hard

Too conflicted to think

My peace is loosely knotted

Hanging Slipping Undone

Scribbling Stuttering Swallowing

Words ridden on my tongue

At the starting line of a race that cannot be won

Running away from myself like a horizon

from the setting sun

Fall softly now

just as you let yourself get the better of you

the eyes in the back of your stale mind look back

a subtle frown draws, and suddenly a certainness

that everything is going to be okay

rests heavy on your chest

Paint me as the sky

See me rise

Send me high

Blurred stars pass by

Shimmering Shooting stars

Are the tears I cry

Enduring the night

I’m Beside

My blue-blind mind

And I

I absolutely adore her

Lavishly love her

Cannot stop craving her taste

And I am Patiently waiting

for my lips to meet hers

so that I can forget about the world

again

Covered
by the warm weight of 3 blankets because she is cold, and I must hold her lightly to keep her warm
Comforted
by the timing of her breath drawing down my neck, and her heart beat keeping the rhythm of the restless world outside my open window
Comply
to each sound I hear which conducts vibrations that remind me I am still alive, and there is a war to be won in my dormant mind
Concerned
by the redundant consideration that I remain vital within a chemical comatose dreamland as her reassuring eyes beam through like an angel, and I remain safeguarded
Concede
to the blackness which is bordering the confines of the slanted wall above my head, and I no longer can remain awake in the corner I am curled into
Unconscious

What were those words that we said
I remember as I close my eyes, and cry in my bed
Like the first time when we lost sight of the world in our eyes
And I could’ve died happily without another word to be said
Now I swear I wouldn’t even know if I was dead
Or the moment we drove north to be free
As my hand found yours, green mountains, for as far as the eye could see
Oh I wish I could be
I wish I could be
But you’re up in the trees
And I’m lost out at sea
Though you lay heavily
On my heart, Dear Gracie
It’s like the moment we touched
Infinite, indescribable, felt beautiful, for a moment I trust
Just for a moment I trust
Do you feel just as such?
Like the light that lit the emptiness of our chests
The same place where your smile, your heart, and mine still rest
I’m falling asleep in this mess
Oh I wish I wish you the best
I love you
I rest