You always hear it, of the Cut.
The one that goes too deep.
The one that makes the crimson flow strong, and the pulse weak.
The one that breaks a sibling's heart, and causes tears to fall from a parent's eye.
The one that makes the whole world stop.
The Cut is irreversible. The Cut is final.
And things shouldn't be final.
That's the whole point of living, isn't it?
To write your own destiny, to make things better than they once were.
A moment's sadness may not compare to the lifetime of joy that could be on the horizon.
Yet, it's hard to see when the fog is thick and the sky is bleak.
Just remember the sun is there, waiting for you to feel it.

Perhaps it is me.
I am very boring, after all.
Or maybe it's them.
I just want someone to talk to.
Someone who doesn't think it's a burden to talk to me.
Someone who will smile when they open my messages, who will talk to me for hours and hours and not get bored, someone who will listen attentively and get every word I'm saying.
I just want someone to talk to.
But, lately, it seems like that person could never exist.
Am I unlovable?
Am I not good enough?
Am I not what someone wants?
Perhaps it's because I always find people who are just as ****** up as I am.
I just want someone to talk to.
Could that someone be you?

I do not feel joy.

I do not feel ease.

I do not feel any happy feeling that the chemicals in my brain can produce.

I feel numbness.

Being numb feels worse than being sad.

Being sad is crying and letting everything out.

Being numb is cutting and not feeling a **** thing.  

I just want to feel again, I want to be able to be alone without wanting to sob.  

But for now, what I feel is simply nothing.