I haven't been kissed for so long that every mouth I see screams 'possibility'.

You must tell him that you are miserable,
That your addictions and your fists drove your family away
You must tell him that you haven't been touched for years
That whenever you look down at your hands all you can hear are the cries of the only woman who cared for you.
Tell him about the loneliness that eats away at your flesh daily
That without a woman your wounds are gaping more each day. You are ******.
You must teach him to cradle his woman, so she will cradle him back.
The touch of a woman who loves you is the most important thing in the world.
So, you must tell him to love his mother.
You never loved her, and look at you now.
You must tell him that you go weeks without opening your mouth, and the silence in your house is stale and bitter.
You must tell him that, you are stale. And bitter.

Youre lying next to a pretty boy
And you think
"wow, i don't even remember what loneliness feels like"
And the sun is kissing your skin
And you think
"have i ever felt cold before?"

And then winter comes and youre in bed alone
and you think
"what does the heat of the sun feel like? What does the heat of another body feel like?"

My neighbours have a half empty bottle of ***** sitting on their windowsill
If I close my eyes hard enough, I swear I can smell you.
I can taste the names of the pretty girls you kissed when you were high and I was alone,

And sometimes the voice in my head repeats your name over and over until it is nothing more than an unrecognisable sound. That's how I like it. Unrecognisable.

I have been very lonely since you told me she was pregnant
sometimes I can't sleep cos my mattress feels cold,
and I stay up all night talking to the men who live under my bed. They comfort me.

I text you the same message 18 times "please don't leave me. I will die."
("Leave me alone. There is nothing more for me to say to you" )

Mum tells me that all men will leave you when you need them most.
I think you left me long after I became dependant on you.
It is hard for me to breathe under all this soil

My room smells of unrequited love and stale promises.

You are still kissing other girls when you are high.
There are still bite marks on my thigh.

You told me I was too too unhealthy to ever learn to love, I was sick. I needed help.
You said, "maybe, in the future our paths will cross".
Do you not understand there is no future for me? I want to walk on your path.

Sometimes I scream because I have no one to touch, and my fingertips have been aching to feel the warm skin of someone other than myself.

If only I believed in a god as much as I believe in my mother.