I’ve built my walls up high,
so no one can climb them.
I’ve hidden the keys,
so no one can get through.
I’ve closed the curtains,
So no one can see inside.
I protect myself from the past,
in fear of the future,
and for safety of the present.
Alone is safe.
Alone is comfortable.
But when alone becomes
lonely you think about your walls.
You think about maybe letting
them down for someone.
I really don’t need
anyone. I don’t need anyone and
I don’t want anyone. I like being alone.
I can be alone for the rest of my life.
I don’t mind…

oh makeup can be such a wonderful disguise,
covering up blemishes and flaws on the outside,
but it’s power starts die,
when you look into their eyes,
and realize,
that they are trying so hard to hide,
from the blemishes and flaws on their inside,
the cover up is something everyone buys,
so they slowly unravel from their ties,
that held together all their lies,
when all we really want is just to fly,
to some faraway place way up high,
between the sunset and the sunrise,
but now at night you hear their cries,
as they very slowly starts to die,
and yet we still ask ourselves why?
                                                        *(j.j)

It’s the cliché that becomes cliché—the pain, the hurt, the ache that smothers your entire soul, to the point where it becomes a poison, flowing throughout every vein that you so helplessly depend on to survive. I think there’s a reason that God didn’t give us the right words to describe Love. Perhaps because it forces us to go out and discover it for ourselves, so somehow, one day, we can write our own books, with the tenuous words that we don’t even know exist. But there is a language out there, a language that all humans understand, between every longitude to every latitude that circles the globe. For at the core humans all share the same things; two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth, legs, arms, lungs, to the very microscopic cells that lay the foundation for our inimitable kind. But we also all share one particularly peculiar portentous thing:
A heart.                                                                  ­                                                                 ­                            
And for every beat it beats, between every pump of blood that keeps our bodies alive, are the words being spoken that we cannot, and will never understand.
                                                                                                                                                                       *(j.j)

Its empty there, lying on the ground,
my heart now heavy because I know I have to go.

A one-way ticket to a foolish man’s doom,
that I, a fool no less, came to know.

With it’s empty future I must fill with the past,
with every relic of our poor choices made too fast.

So I throw in every shirt, pant, and shoe I own,
I can’t live today without her,
turning into a thousand tomorrow’s unknown.

I stare at my suitcase and realize the true meaning of it all,
to pack up moments and memories leaving quiet empty halls.

The halls that housed all those who said they’d never leave,
But with lies they took spared joy like emaciated thieves

People pack their whole lives and seal it with a zipper,
Oh but she—my life—if I could only take her.

But she took her suitcase to a place in which she’ll never come back,
And she took my heart with her so I begin to pack.

So now I’m packing my suitcase for you my sweetheart,
so we can finally live in a place where we’ll never be apart.

*(j.j)

I sit here on this rock and weep
        For you, my love, for it’s been so long.
I would rather die with you, than live eternally
For you are the one that holds my heart.
With all the beauty and wealth binding me
You are richer than them all.
The very reason I’ve suffered for so long
The very reason I refuse to give up.
My heart aches for you everyday
The pain is so great I can bear it no longer.
Fate now, is my greatest enemy, but also my friend
        For it brought me to you.
Oh do not cry! Do not be sad!  
Stay still, my love, for I will return to you.
Oh you are the beauty that god’s do envy
My love, my soul, my all
I will not stop at any ocean, mountain, god, or death
Until I see my love again…
(inspired by the Odyssey)

I used to chase the stars stained upon the sky,
that once bore a violent desire,
that melted away long ago.

Now I chase the scars marred upon my core,
But the race is over, the chase is no more,
I’ve caught it and the fight is won,
And I begin to float into a nothingness,
in which I slowly start to drown.

Now I may smother my undying thirst,
As I hold it in my palms and raise it to my lips,
A rush captures me,
It’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.
Death’s lips against mine.

My 11:11
My shooting star
My penny in a fountain
My fallen eyelash
My candle on a birthday cake
My dandelion blowing away with the wind
My one wish every time
     that I could have you
     as mine forever.