He's the king of mixed signals
He's the master of deception
His gentle touch says "I'm a protector"
But his words declare "Stay back, I'm a predator"

His blue eyes are soft but his heart, not enough
He says "relationships are worthless" and I'm calling his bluff
And I'm just waiting for you to believe what you already know

I know you're scared and I am too..
But after all we've been through
What do we have to lose?

I just can't handle this
I am a sinking ship
Going down with every hit I give and take.

Who is this person?
Tears flow so freely
I cannot control this emotion
I am in limbo

This constant motion of
Having to be enough
Has suddenly come to an abrupt halt.

With every purge
I lose a little bit more of my control.
With every drag
I lose a little bit more of my sanity.
With every cut
I lose a little bit more of myself.

So who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I?

.   .   .

"I am not
Me"

I miss seeing you smile,and hearing your laugh
You always enjoyed life,and everything you had
You choose a path I did not chose,so you left me behind
like there was nothing to loose.
You gave up on us for the sake of drugs,
No more watching you live or receiving your hugs.
I keeping praying one day you will come back,and give me the love
I seem to lack.
Until the time comes that you see clear, I want you to know I will always
be here.
So come back.

I kissed him,
and for the first time
in a long time
tasted true sadness,
a depression brought on
by
e m p t i n e s s
         a young boy
            watching his father leave
                 for a trip,
                      a trip lasting sixteen years
he'd watch his dad leave
through his windows
waving as he watched,
I'd imagine at least.