Why is it that when ever I do
Something you just give me a look?
Your voice always speaks
“Not good enough”
What is it that I can do
To be good enough?

I have tried so many things and times
But it still is not enough
Nothing seems to ever be enough
I have done everything you have ever asked
Or forced me to do with out complaining
Before I realized I wasn’t good enough
When was it that you changed to this?
When did I change?

Remember when you and I could talk
With out any doubt about
What each other was saying?
I cannot but I do remember
The feeling of hate
Not being there

I do remember when you could hear
What I was saying before my throat
Had to **** it’s self screaming for you
To even begin to listen

Do you know of the nights where one word
Was all it took to send water running down my face?
Do you know of all the nights
Where I didn’t let it show?
When was it I changed to someone
Who was afraid to let others anywhere near
The thing I keep under lock and key
Surrounded by a thick sheet of the hardest substance to crack?

When was it I stopped letting
Others get close to me?
Why did I change so?

I can’t wake them.
I can’t wake them because if I do
Then I’ll only be punished worse.
If I let them, anyone, see me like this,
Then I will lose any chance of hope
I might have had left.

I don’t want to lose them because,
Even if they are the ones hurting me,
I can’t make it on my own.
I don’t want to be alone.

These bruises and scars are nothing
Compared to what little of a heart
I started with. So I scream.
I scream inside my head letting all the
Pain and frustration and anger push at my skull.

And I want to break.
I want to just let it all go and loose my self,
But I can’t have what I want.
Cause if I do then what would I be after that?

Sshhhhhh,
Do you hear them?
I can’t wake them.
I can’t wake them because if I do
Then I’ll only be punished worse.
If I do, then they will leave me
And I can't live without the pain
It's the only thing that reminds me
I’m still alive