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The past is called my enemy
And future, just a mystery
I've made mistakes
But that's all part of my timeline.

Hoping to change who I am
To who i used to be
Sick of feeling so unloved
Tired of picturing who else I could be.
He always wanted to be somebody
He always did his best in school
But the boy became a man
And he started playing the fool

He started hanging with the wrong crowd
And they always would lead him astray
Too many girls, he would break their hearts
But he would never give his heart away

Until that day when he saw her standing there
And he fell head over heels for the beauty queen
They kept saying she was way out of his league
They kept saying he would never be her scene

Now he is going all out to mend his ways
He is going to change who he used to be
He is saying goodbye to what used to be his past
He is going to open up her eyes to see

This former bad boy wants to be with his blind girl
She can not see his face, but she can feel his heart
He never thought he would find the wood through the trees
He always makes her smile, to him it is a start

The years have flown by, they still remember their first kiss
He still wishes she could have seen their wedding day
And he still loves her as much as the first time he saw her
Their children have grown up, the grandchildren play


copyright Chris Smith 2010
A day on the boulevards chosen out of ten years of
student poverty!  One best day out of ten good ones.
Berket in high spirits—”Ha, oranges! Let’s have one!”
And he made to ****** an orange from the vender’s cart.

Now so clever was the deception, so nicely timed
to the full sweep of certain wave summits,
that the rumor of the thing has come down through
three generations—which is relatively forever!
I

Winter is long in this climate
and spring—a matter of a few days
only,—a flower or two picked
from mud or from among wet leaves
or at best against treacherous
bitterness of wind, and sky shining
teasingly, then closing in black
and sudden, with fierce jaws.

     II

March,
           you reminded me of
the pyramids, our pyramids—
stript of the polished stone
that used to guard them!
                                    March,
you are like Fra Angelico
at Fiesole, painting on plaster!

March,
             you are like a band of
young poets that have not learned
the blessedness of warmth
(or have forgotten it).
At any rate—
I am moved to write poetry
for the warmth there is in it
and for the loneliness—
a poem that shall have you
    in it March.

     III

See!
         Ashur-ban-i-pal,
the archer king, on horse-back,
in blue and yellow enamel!
with drawn bow—facing lions
standing on their hind legs,
fangs bared!  his shafts
bristling in their necks!

Sacred bulls—dragons
in embossed brickwork
marching—in four tiers—
along the sacred way to
Nebuchadnezzar’s throne hall!
They shine in the sun,
they that have been marching—
marching under the dust of
ten thousand dirt years.

Now—
they are coming into bloom again!
See them!
marching still, bared by
the storms from my calender
—winds that blow back the sand!
winds that enfilade dirt!
winds that by strange craft
have whipt up a black army
that by pick and shovel
bare a procession to
                               the god, Marduk!

Natives cursing and digging
for pay unearth dragons with
upright tails and sacred bulls
alternately—
                      in four tiers—
lining the way to an old altar!
Natives digging at old walls—
digging me warmth—digging me sweet loneliness
high enamelled walls.

     IV

My second spring—
passed in a monastery
with plaster walls—in Fiesole
on the hill above ‘Florence.
My second spring—painted
a ******—in a blue aureole
sitting on a three-legged stool,
arms crossed—
she is intently serious,
                                  and still
watching an angel
with colored wings
half kneeling before her—
and smiling—the angel’s eyes
holding the eyes of Mary
as a snake’s hold a bird’s.
On the ground there are flowers,
trees are in leaf.

     V

But! now for the battle!
Now for ******—now for the real thing!
My third springtime is approaching!
Winds!
lean, serious as a ******,
seeking, seeking the flowers of March.

Seeking
flowers nowhere to be found,
they twine among the bare branches
in insatiable eagerness—
they whirl up the snow
seeking under it—
they—the winds—snakelike
roar among yellow reeds
seeking flowers—flowers.

I spring among them
seeking one flower
in which to warm myself!

I deride with all the ridicule
of misery—
my own starved misery.

Counter-cutting winds
    strike against me
refreshing their fury!

Come, good, cold fellows!
    Have we no flowers?
Defy then with even more
desperation than ever—being
    lean and frozen!

But though you are lean and frozen—
think of the blue bulls of Babylon.

Fling yourselves upon
    their empty roses—
              cut savagely!

But—
think of the painted monastery
  at Fiesole.
I love you
Which is needlessly said
I wish you were here
To clear my crowded head.

The pain keeps returning
And then I want you more
My feelings are stronger
Then ever before.

You didn't understand
And you probably never will
I'll try my hardest to stay strong
Although I need you still.
Inspired By Nathan Heinz
 Jan 2010 JR Macfadden
Don culman
See the man who sits and waits,
remaining ever so still;
Patiently, patiently among the rocks,
under a moonlit night.

Watch the younger one,
tense and all about;
Eagerly, eagerly aside the river,
above the glossy shimmer.

See the man who sits and waits,
not to flinch at nature's chill;
He hears a thump then sees bush rustle,
knocks an arrow without hustle.

Watch the youth,
his eyes wide with fear;
He spots  ripples in the river,
readies his spear in haste.

See the man who sits and waits,
his sure fingers hold their place;
From the bushes emerge a plump hare,
all it does is look and stare.

Watch the youth,
his face is sweaty and he is ready;
He sees a snake, but does not wait,
he thrusts in his spear not to be late.

See the man who sits and waits,
he eyes up his prey searching for a chance;
But then yet another hare is to follow,
it came out of a tree that was hollow.

Watch the youth,
he is going home without any food;
He scared away all the prey,
he has been hunting all day.

See the man who sits and waits,
he smiles to himself as he readies another arrow;
Thwoop, Thwoop go two arrows under the moonlit night,
the man's prey lie before him as he takes out his knife.
 Jan 2010 JR Macfadden
J
I look out into the world
Our world, within a world, within a world
Within a world
But where does it end?
Does it end?
If life ends, but the universe cannot
Then does life really end?
I’d like to think there’s something out there
Some hope that this means more
But I know it don’t mean ****
It’s beyond me
Everything is beyond me
Like, society
Nothing makes sense, there’s no use
Trying to make sense of that
But yet we keep searching for a solution
We will never ever solve
If we could solve it, we’d **** ourselves first
With pollution and ******* and blindness
Because everyone searches for truth
When there is none
It is pointless because
We will never know
There are things beyond our explanation
But nobody will accept it
Yet still I live
To breathe in life
because
I have never seen something more beautiful
Than when I look at our world within a world
How strange it is!
Yet how perfect
And no matter how complicated,
So simple.
And simple, because it is complicated.
I am inspired
By everything around me
But I cannot put into words
My inspiration
It is the wind, the movement through the trees
It is everything I want it to be
And nothing at all
It has no meaning
Yet means everything to me
I just wish people could see through my eyes
And know
And feel
The inexplicable
Maybe for just a moment
They’d feel so trapped that they’d finally be free
© J. 2010
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