A ******* is something I don't call many
Someone that prolongs pain
And what did you have to gain
You broke my heart
And you just don't give a ****
How could you do this
I finally gave my heart away
To someone who is an ***
I thought you really cared
But my heart you did not spare
So shut the **** up
There's nothing you can say
Leave me the hell alone
Just go away

What is with pictures?
What do they mean?
For some
They show all the special times together
For others
They show the happy moments
For me
They show the times that were there and are now gone forever
Pictures are never taken during hard times
But the ones taken are ment to help us get through the har times

She stands here in this place of emptiness
Red is all around, is it love or hate
I see the tears flowing down her face
She is sad like the empty sky on a cold day
No one sees or understands how much she is truly hurting inside, while watching everyone else living their lives with a smile on their face
The tears flow faster and faster
Her shirt is soaked and she doesn’t care
She cries while wishing that someone would open their eyes to her pain
Her soul tries to fly like an eagle or soar like a dove
But it falls down drowning to deep
How can she show them, without saying a word, but tell the truth to her past
She asks herself if she will ever be able to walk away from the confusion of the red
Her face has turned as red as the place that she is in
Her tears tare through her heart draining on the floor
She only wants to find the love that can break her out of this horrible place
But no one sees

The distance is killing me
My body is screaming out

I want to be there
I am so ready

Baby I want to get close
And show you things you have never seen

Touching my body
Looking into my eyes

I want to yell
I want to scream

Saying my name
Yelling it louder

Baby show me what I missed
I want to feel it to my finger tips

Don't stop
Don't tease
Please make me scream

I know I want you baby
Jump in and make you an me, us
We can make this work
I know it will be hard
Because sometimes you just seem so far
I hate being lonely
I hate being scared
I wish you sould be here to hold me
And show me how you care
I want to feel your touch
I want to see your face
And kiss your sweet lips
Bring you home and never let go
I want you baby
Please don't say no

I know we've been through alot
Done things we can not change
There's till a place in my heart
This place can not be erased
We've caused pain
We've hurt each other
You were my first love
That will never change
The plans we made
We can not fulfill
Dreams that I had
They can't come true
Now that you love someone new
I will have to deal
But always remember
I am here for you still

Loss of breath
Stuttered words
Not myself
My heart misses a beat
Who can this be
I thought I would never find you
You’re always there for me
You know just what to say
You help make the pain go away
Making the world alright
I will finally get some sleep tonight
Soothing words you speak
You make my heart so strong and never weak
The rough times you help me through
I learned every day is brand new
The way you hold my hand
When you kiss me so sincere
You put your arms around me
I feel your heart so clear
Nothing can express what you mean to me
You are you
And I am me
Together we are everything I need

Thank you for loving me
And taking me in
The love you had given,
I continue to hold within

More Children you did not need,
But you took us in with your love unconditionally
In life dad you were loved so dearly,
In death that love stays the same

I breaks the hearts of so many to see you go,
But you did not leave alone
Pieces of all of us went with you,
The day God called you home

Life in not about what you can gain or of greed
It is about what you gave to those in need
A home and a safe place to be
You always gave this, alone with love to me

Rest now dad, as we say goodbye
We will see you again one day,
Standing by Gods side

No blanket of tears
Honesty finally preserves
I am who I want to be
No one is trying to stop me
My family is starting to understand
My friends finally know my plans
No more lying to myself
No more hiding the pain I felt
I can finally move on
From all the things that went so wrong
No more secrets in my ears
I'm not in some ridiculous disguise
I am me
That's who I want to be

The lord is here
Can you feel him
The holy words are there
Can you speak them
The bible is on the desk
Can you not read it
The lies are wrong
Can you see through them
The sheep are here
Can you rely on them
The walls are up
Can you pray them down
Instead you rely on the world
and the things in it
But you can just pray
And just love him

Trust is fake
There is no true meaning
If you trust someone with your heart
Their hands will get tired
They will drop it
Then they will not watch their step
Instead of letting you find it
They crush it
Making you pick up the pieces
Faith is not everlasting
It can only be pushed so hard
Eventually it will be blown out
Easier then a candle
Love is not eternal
Someone will always find a way to make you doubt it
Doubt then washes away any existance of the painful feeling

All the time we live together
I don't see
All the time we spend together
I can't hear you
All the time I pray
I don't get any closer
Is there something wrong with me
I hope someday I will see
I hope someday I will hear the words of wisdom
Maybe someday I will hold your hand
I pray that those days will be soon
Real soon

Christianity is not fake
It's all real
There's nothing to worry about
You just have to kneal
Don't be scared or ashamed
Don't hide from your fears
Pray a simple prayer
He always hears
Don't be afraid of this world, or the things in it
Just pray and be done with it

Why does it have to be like this
Why am I so different
I have an abusive mother
Why am I living this life
I have a broken family
Why am I am affected
I have a broken heart
Why am I so out of place
I'm so sad
Why is my brother so bruised
I can't deal with this
Why did my mother hurt us like this
I am only a teen
Why can't I love her as a normal kid should
I can't handle all this pain
Why does she hate us so much
I just want to be normal
Why
I ask myself these questions everyday
And come up with the same answer
God made me this way
But why...

I am strong and brave
I wonder how long I will have to live
I hear so much terror
I see so much pain
I want to be happy I am strong and brave

I pretend to be the best
I feel so hurt
I touch life it's self
I worry about everything
I cry when concentrating on my real life and future
I a strong and brave

I understand what’s going on around me
I say things out of hatred
I dream of hate, shame, and pain
I hope I will change
I am strong and brave

Standing beside each other
Even when you know their wrong

Holding on to one another
Trying to write a new song

You know what they do
It never does any good

Trying to push you
Knowing that you not strong

The pressure is so great
But you hesitate

You look in the direction
Where you know you belong

Hey try to decide
Tell you God is what you need

You’ve tried that road before
You don't want it no more

You only got hurt
Just trying to walk in the door

Through all those smies
You've taught me nothing
Through all those fears
You've taught me nothing
Through all those tears
You've taught me nothing
Through all those classes
You've taught me nothing
Through all those grades
You've taught me nothing
Through all those counsling sessions
You've taught me nothing
Through all those years you taught me
You raised me to be just like you
So how come you can't see how hard it is to be
You

I cry when I sleep at night
I cry when I wake up to the morning light
I cry at the sound of tears
I cry at the sight of fears
I cry for the little ones,  who lose their loved ones
I cry to much for my family
Maybe I am not the only one who crys like this

A tiny little heart that never beat
Feet that never really grew
A beautiful little person who never got to know
The pure love you mom and dad never got to show
Instead of seeing your first smile
We had to let you go
There will be no kisses on your sweet little face
Only pain in my heart that no one can ever erase
We wanted to hold you so tight
In our arms full of love where you would have fit just right
Instead we said goodbye to someone we never met
If only and what could have been are all we will ever get
A baby book was never filled out
But our love for you never came with doubt
Mommy fought, begged, and prayed
Daddy sat silent hoping you would stay
Tears fell to the ground so hard
But god just dealt you the wrong card
Your brothers would have loved you and taught you so much
The little bitty baby they never got to touch
To be parents to you would have given us such pride
If only you didn’t need to go flying in the sky
I hope you have beautiful wings
And you get to hear all of the angels sing
Goodbye to our tiny little love
Goodbye to my baby, fly like a dove

The tree is tall
The branches grow wide
Some reaching side by side
Unconditional and scared by life
Each leaf has more than on side
Without the leaves
A tree grows bear
Each leaf is a testament
Showing love that has been shared
This tree was planted at the dawn of time
No one knowing how tall it would become
Or how much life would grow
The day that the first two became one
The tree may die one day
The leaves will fall and decay
But the love that was shared
And the memories that were made
Those will last forever
Until the earths dying day

She needs you
She crys
Please help her make due
Her family lies
They don't know
Tell her how to deal with it
They can't help her now
Don't let her be hurt
Bless Her lord
Let her carry your sword
You are her only chance
Stand in the gap
Help her carry the weight
It's so heavy on her back
No one else knows
You are who she trusts

A Momma bakes the bread
And cleans the floors
She opens up all you doors
Wiping off your silly face
Those are the things that make her day
You never think she will say goodbye
Her soul leaving for the sky
You will need her then and pray it’s not real
But she will but gone unable to hear
The days will be spent wishing for the past
That she had not left you quite so fast

I'm calling
Can you not hear me
I'm hurting
Can you not see
I'm thinking to much
Can you not help me
I can't get out
Can you unlock the door
I can't break free
Can you use the key
I can't get out
Can you pull me along
Where does it go
I don't understand
How do I get help
What
Who s he
God
God please

Do you really want to live like this
You can change
Do you really want to hurt
You can be different
Do you really want to rock yourself to sleep
You can be held
Do you really want to cry all day
You can smile
Do you really want to hate everyone
You can love
Do you really want to die
You can live
Do you really just want to be loved
You can

Fighting every day
No pain shown on my face
You won't see my battle
I will fight with grace
Playing with my baby's
I will win this race
Working every day
I will match everyone's pace
Won't walk with my limp
I have earned my place

Holding my head high
I wont let you see me cry
If you see a glint in my eye
Just know i will flight not lay down and die

The battle i fight
It is one within
It is one that i will win

Dreams, hopes, and prayers
Brought to my knees right there
Tubes were giving you breath
All of my fears lead to death
Nurses all aroundwith this look on their face
I thought it could be my last embrace
I held you down for each blood withdrawal
Everytime it broke off a piece of my heart
You were just so tiny and small
You could hear my heart beat all down the hall
The doctors looked with sadness in their eyes
So many little babies had fought and died
But you are mine
You were made to shine
Fighting is in your blood
I gained more hope hearing your hearts little thud
You are as strong as a fighter must be
So I will be strong and pull out the mother in me
I took you home with every medication in hand
This will not be our last stand
You will grow and be brave as you must do
Because my heart would die without you
So fight little boy
Keep breathing on your own
God can not call
I will not let him call you home