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Josh Pagan Aug 2013
Where did I go wrong
Was it me all along
Does my face match disgrace
Or is that look of distaste
Just a general disappointment
For all lost souls

What could be thought of me
What could ever come to be
Your mind yells nothing
Nothing
Nothing
Others scream something
Something
Something
But it gets worse
Why won't these feelings disperse

A pillow won't protect you
From all that you do
The lights will always come on
Eventually
You can't hide in the dark forever
As if its your own personal tether
To some sort of sanity
Where a "perfect" man has no problems
And sleep isn't an escape
Josh Pagan Jul 2013
The core of connectivity,
Millions of miles of memories,
Suppressed and beaten.
Sad and desperate.
Scraped and bruised.

Thousands of thoughts fought off
Words
Actions
HUMANS
Evil creatures breaking and entering
To make you psychotic
To make you lose yourself
They talk Talk TALK

Laying down at night wondering why
Crying into a pillow,
It's not fair
Scattered thin, far

Grab my hand
Pull me out of this sea of thoughts
That would otherwise turn me insane
Your grasp protecting me
Not alone for a moment
It's all I need

The world surrounds me
Yet I'm still alone
You say you care
I lay here insecure
Baggage filed with lead
Eyes deep-set with dread

Awakening into a pit
So familiar each sand grain stands out
No way to climb out
Why am I trying?
Always crying, inside dying

All molded into a smile
Innocent and enticing
Removed to reveal unsightly horror
There's no sunshine
When you lose yourself
Josh Pagan Jul 2013
How much can your heart stand?
Forcibly ******* it up
Absorbing and dealing
With our daily damnations.

Bursting from the seams,
It is steadfast.
Walls bending and breaking,
Still holding your world together.
But nothing withstands forever.

A direct connection
Form heart to head,
Is our only fail safe.
We as humans fall in love
With what we see,
What we hear.

How extraordinary.
The gateway with which we see all of the world's beauty
Is also a drain for the hideous.

On occasion,
Without warning,
It releases its overflow.
A quick reminder of reality.
But don't fear this.
Accept the beauty
Of your heart finally letting it go.

— The End —