Josef Wilhelm

Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011

I take a breath, and hold it in.
I feel the pressure deep within.
I feel my heart, it loudly screams your voice.
It's not my fault, not wasn't even my choice
This dream its lucid, it makes me realize.
My perspective is twisted, seen through clouded eyes.
Pull the slivers, they feel deep.
The memories are painful, they make me weep.
My mind is bleeding, thoughts gush out.
They hurt me so much, that I could shout.
The rain on my face, rinses my soul.
The stain left over, swallow me whole.
Then I fall down, right to the ground.
My clock isn't ticking, it needs to be wound.
Knees all ******, pants are torn.
My heart is in tangles, cluttered and worn.
My heads down so low, I think I give in.
My head feels so heavy, I can't ever win.
All goes quiet except my breathing.
I'm okay I swear, my heart is bleeding.
Everything goes black, quiet, and still.
I know I can do this, without this stupid pill.
So I'll rise up, grow up, raise my head up high.
Laugh, smile, breath, and be a happy guy.
With moments of weakness, comes great power.
The light of the sun, in it I will shower.

Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011

The Hole

As I say goodbye to myself,
inside of me I'm hiding.
A portrait of my wall,
made of the strongest metal.
The smells of rust and condensation
sink into my nostrils.
The haunting of the past and future,
escape through many thoughts of insecurities.
This void is full yet empty,
and may never be fulfilled.
Heads explode and minds are blown,
but I will stay intact.
For I am the impenetrable wall.
The constitution of my life.
A hole of never ending thoughts.
I have cracks beneath my surface,
yet I remain stable.
Scream off the top of a mountain,
be free and prosper.
For the bottomless hole does have an ending.
It releases back into the earth,
of speckled dust and breath.
It goes back to where it manifested,
as only an experience,
not reality.

Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011

Courage

Even though the worlds on top of me.
My legs are heavy my back feels weak.
I stand up straight as I should be.
My destiny is mine to carve.
I tell myself to succeed and my fire burns.
Why not follow and see where this path leads.
The golden road is ahead.
Warm winds and eagerness drive me.
I'm alive.
I won't run.
I won't cry.
These scars were deep, but now are faded.
This is me.

Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011

Reawakening

Eyes straight forward dont be afraid.
In time these burns eventually fade.
My fire reminds me of things i know.
The lies i tell myself begin to show.
I fall and fall but i cant get up.
My strength on my own is not enough.
I plunge into the abyss of my own soul.
The darkness begins to eat me whole.
Then light shines through before im gone.
The will to live has just begun.
My soul splits open like a flower at bloom.
A new me is born, the old in a tomb.

Josef Wilhelm Dec 2011

December

In this month of December,
all this time I remember.
Those have come,
and those have gone.
Shattered hearts that have mended,
were torn pages of our lives.
I remember smiles of joy,
and tears of sorrow.
Broken promises and lonely nights.
Spoken words and stupid fights.
The smell of cigarettes and
whiskey fill the air.
Starry nights above the sky
twinkle beyond the masses.
A boy cries silently,
inside his chest he hates all that life has given.
Come back again, climb into this box of desperation.
Smile they're gone,
these memories.
They end as quickly as they begin.
Yet I can still remember,
in this month of December.

— The End —