it’s one of those days
these days are my least favorite thing in the whole world
i hate nothing else more
one of those days that i can’t even look at my hands without thinking of you
thinking of how our hands fit together like two puzzle pieces
thinking of how you used to make fun of the way my thumb would bend back further than it was supposed to
thinking of the way I used to squeeze your hand when I was nervous or scared and you just knew
it’s just one of those days when looking at my hands brings back one million different memories of you
a million different memories of us
just one of those days.

i could be cut open right now and i still wouldn’t feel a single thing.

you must be selfish for the sake of your own happiness
i didn’t want to hurt you, it was the last thing on this planet that i ever thought of doing.
i hurt you for me, for my own sake and well being
i still think of you constantly and how in love i thought i was
i knew i deserved better but i still stayed because the last thing i wanted to do was hurt you like you did me
you left such a deep wound that is slowly becoming a scar
i hurt you so i could stop hurting
i’m sorry

you are gone for good this time,
you have found someone else,
but you left me without a hand to hold,
a shoulder to cry on

just the thought of your skin makes me cry
the thought that you now make her happy
i hate it that you're not here
i hate it so much

it physically hurts me to see you with her
i'm glad you're happy now,
but i wish it was with me
i wish i could make you happy like she does

you said you were coming
you didn't respond to me all day
it was as if I was talking to a wall,
like you left your personality at home

you're very different now
i don't think you're interested anymore
your personality is a butterfly without color
i feel as if something is wrong

is it me? are you not happy anymore?
why do you do this to me?
you make me think that you changing is my fault,
but of course i'm there to take the blame
i always am

i look for you in everyone
like a moth looking for light
i am the moth ,
you are my light

unlike the moth being able to function without the light,
i cannot simply function without you
everyone reminds me of you
i guess it's because i am looking for you,
but always find someone else

it always hurts when i realize i won't find you
still i try to because i am a moth and you are my light,
but now you are someone else's light,
and i have yet to find mine