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Mar 2011 · 1.8k
Disposable Friends (A Diary)
Feeling wanted could be evidence of friends
Until their loyalty is finished taunting
Knowing family is what introduces hope
Hope is what tempts someone to trust
the mystery of friendships will always stand in grey

The taste of rejection is putrid and sour
The aftertaste is bitter and lasting
The death of a friendship pierces even the numbest hearts
Lukewarm friends will never last
Never stay true or care to look from your vantage point

Fed up friendships destroy all innocence
The scars still have a pulse when I'm around them
Chaos has no place in this lyric, but it is here
Fighting for freedom like the carrot on the stick
If no one's caring enough let's get this over with

Maybe all the smoke that follows them will be a warning
Maybe these raw wounds will destroy and repeated mistakes
Friendships are Loyal, Trustworthy, and ready to compromise
NOT disposable
Feb 2011 · 801
It truly is
Iron hearts may never yeild
If love's inquiries are revealed
But I for one, have one for all
That iron hearts can not conceal

A frigid time is where we stand
When all our foes are hand in hand
But I have seen the mountains fall
And make a home in broken lands

A life for living not complaining
While love and light are still remaining
A hope beyond the shadow wall
We fell behind when love was gaining

An iron heart will overlook
The beauty in our global nook
Among the stars we seem so small
But it truly is a glorious life afterall
Feb 2011 · 685
How to Feel Alive
Verse 1
Still air is around you
As you stand on the line
The silence resounding
And you’re taking you’re time

The grass looks so much greener
On the other side
But you’ve been there and you found
That you think you need won’t make you feel alive

Pre Chorus
You’re just trying to live a life
You’re just trying to breathe tonight

Chorus
So we build our houses board by board
As we search the world something more
Than just ourselves and the love the we need tonight
As we try to find how to feel alive

Verse 2
You’re climbing the ladder
And your gaining in speed
But you feel you’re successes
And it’s not what you need

Is there something missing when
Your buried in your never ending goals
Tell me why do you chase a high
That won’t make it through the lows

Pre Chorus
You’re just trying to fight a fight
You’re just trying to feel free tonight

Bridge
If we could see like the blind man
Would it open up our eyes
If we could hear like the deaf
Would we still listen to the lies
If we could sing with a mute tongue
Until the day we die
Maybe we'd find how to feel alive
A song I wrote a couple days ago, I used portions from my poem "Pale and Distant".
Feb 2011 · 763
Mixed Messages
I               never       even

Intended this          success

To            cause      limits
Feb 2011 · 813
Too Tired to Love
I didn't know how late it was
when I called you

I really didn't care because
I missed you

exhaustion made a gap between
the place we were and needed to be

and I was too tired to know
too tired to show you
I was too tired to love

I was too blind to see you
try to break through
I was too tired to love
But you woke me up

I left your smile as a milestone
when I kissed you

I knew that I could share alone
if I had you

but when exhaustion put a gap between
the place we were and needed to be
you woke me up
Feb 2011 · 1.3k
Into The Eyes of Night
I shot a glance past the pastures and the fields
And they looked so inviting
They said to me, “come walk among
Our thorns and our burrs in dim lighting”

But my eyes could not see the thorns
So I flew through the fields
And I stopped only after
after I felt the blood on my heels

One Hundred paces deep in a camouflage despair
I stood there in the cold night
With too little to wear
And said

“Why was I so easily swayed
by the cover of the dark?”
Because among these thorns and burrs
I’ve lost my one and only heart

A Chorus
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll awake without your sight
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll escape if you can fly


I saw a man with a lantern walk past the field
And called to him
But my secret was revealed
He knew of the thorns in the field

And he called back to me and said, “son if you need me
Then you must not need yourself”
And I saw scars on his hands, feet and side
And knew in my lost heart that he could help

Another Chorus
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll be asleep by first light
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll escape if you can fly


So I gagged on my pride and said,
“if you have scars how are you any better than I?”
and he replied, “son I have these scars
from when I found your lost heart about to die”

I said, “show me my heart
And I will trust that you are here for my rescue”
And the man replied, “Son
Your heart is the fields and the thorns among you”

A Third
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll believe that you are right
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll escape if you can fly


I hated him for what he said
And took a step toward where he stood
But fell upon the ground in pain
And there was no moving on
even if I thought I could

I shook on the ground in the cold and the burrs
And I yelled to the man with the lantern and said,
“how could I be causing myself so great a pain?
It seems to me that you’re the one to blame!”

The man replied, “Son! You ask of me a question!
And then cringe at the reply!
You do not use the pretty words!
And so neither will I!”

I thought then blurted back,
“so you will leave me here to die?”
he said, “Son I wish you life,
but you must need me to survive”

A Fourth
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll shake when you can’t fight
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll escape if you can fly


I lay on my only heart
Not to ready to say goodnight
I said to myself, “if this is me
then I will cause my own loss!”
And I heard the man begin to walk across

I said, “I cannot live in my heart
And my heart will never stop
And I felt the man begin trampling the crop

I said, “I cannot heal my wounds!
My heart has run me dry!”
The man leaned over me with lantern bringing light
Kissed me on the head and said,
“Son now you need me,
let the thorns and thistles die

Because if you need me, you must not need yourself

A Fifth and Final Chorus
Into the eyes of the night
You’ll believe you know what’s right
The only way that You’ll escape
Is to trust the man with light
Feb 2011 · 752
Blank Heart
There is a blank piece of paper
Crumpled up
Into a ball

It’s at the bottom of the garbage
In the room
Across the hall

You can find it buried far
Beneath the pile of black and white

Failed attempts to write a love song
Instead of what I said tonight

On this paper is the chance
To make the battles
Fade away

Take it out and fix the wrinkles
That started recently
To fray

If I could take this piece of paper
Down the hall
And in the trash

I would write a single word
To take away
The recent past

There is a blank piece of paper
That shows the bottom of her heart

And I’ll write love where it had ended
So that I’ll have a place to start
Yule envelope your being
With imperfect generosity
Yule be swept by the tide
Of beloved ambiguity

Yule christen the emerald
And new ruby revelation
To unviel the contingency
of a jubilant nation

Yule welcome the lesson
In manger and hay
And You will show love
For the rest of your days
A poem for the season
Dec 2010 · 2.0k
The World Keeps Spinning
When the One makes an appearance
With Loss and with Love
It drops us back at the beginning
and the world keeps spinning

When it feels bittersweet
That a victory happened
We find our love never thinning
as the world keeps on spinning

When the world keeps on spinning
through Loss and through Love
Is it heartless to rotate?
While there's movement above?

The world keeps on spinning
and this life will do the same
because there is Glory in death
and Memory in his name

So the world, always spinning
is ignoring our loss?
or is it gently reminding
of a life and a cross

How the world carries wisdom
as it keeps on it's way
it makes return to earth easier
after such a beautiful day

When the world keeps on spinning
may you never forget
that this life isn't half
of what we haven't got yet
In loving memory of a dear and beautiful friend Lou Komarov: August 19, 1959- December 22, 2010
Dec 2010 · 594
River
You are blue motion

Moving one way, and the other

But you know your course

You know your ocean


You know no compromise

But compromise knows you

It cannot sway your current

Compromises' wet demise


You are stubborn to truth

And will not be decieved

I long for your traits

For your navy reprieve


You're rapid and faithful

You move with decision

I now understand

I have been blinded by dry vision
Nov 2010 · 838
Captain Found Me!
I was doomed
But the Captain found me!
I was buried in Shadow
So his Lantern
Was rogue in my unfortunate cell

Before I had been imprisoned
I was the sailor of the ship's mast
That's the past
I saw Far and Wide
What men can only dream of telling

But I was bent on favor's
The underbelly of the Deficit
Was in part, my task
The shipmate's flask
Was in need of retrieving

Three nights in the gut
Ankle wet in deep sea
The Captain found me
Minus lantern and flask
Starved and with cold

You hear the whispers of the ocean
In the base of a vessel
Aquatic carries on under ship
Without even a notice
Of a lookout swallowed whole

If not for the Captain
I would surely have be digested
By the vessels rotten stomach
I could not find myself out
Without Lantern and Flask

But the Captain found me
And forgave me my task
To find the Flask
It mattered not at all
Because the Captain had found me!
Nov 2010 · 717
Because of My Love
The most glorious plateau
With spectacle like no other

Reminisce from above
Because of My Love

A trolley for you Darling
To slide over the world

Witness things you cannot speak of
Because of My Love

An aviary of gold
To keep the fowl from the flood

Letter me with a Dove
Because of my love

Letter me thereof
With this bittersweet love
Nov 2010 · 1.0k
Death Is Upside Down
And my foot goes flying toward the bucket

I feel my soul slipping into eternity

The BIG 1

I have struck the rock

Unmovable in the rapids

It's a boulder

It works against the current of Life

And backwards

It's upside down

The intriguing thing about death is,
Nov 2010 · 778
E.R.
Listen to the vents

They sound more staril than a plane cabin

And the scents

Of anti-bacterial attempts to provide comfort

I confess

Its not my primary choice

for a sabbath afternoon

The twist of a limb

And the slip of the heart

Everything
Reducing

Ensuring
Redemption

­melting ***

where cultures collide

into beautiful desperation

differences dissipate, because of one similarity

the threat

the wonder

and the anxiety

of the E.R.
Nov 2010 · 512
You Phantom You
Can you see all the letters?

They're addressed to You...

When You stole my attention

I stole myself from You

It's what my heart had to do


No I didn't mean to write them

but my focus was confused

I never tried to hide them

I just tried to hide from You


You're a phantom
Your spirit makes me weak
You're contagious
You're a name I cannot speak
You're the reason
for the letters at my feet


You Phantom You
Nov 2010 · 764
Welcome! To You Exit!
I find it strange

You face the exit as you welcome me in

not again

understand

It was not my sin!

don't let it fool you

that violin

it plays for lynn

and her demon kin

you let me in

JUST ONE LAST TIME

just let me in

to feel the skin

of lynn

and her violin
Nov 2010 · 815
Me and Humanity
calm before the storm
a winter froze the warm
and me
and humanity

the girls will wait their turn
their boys and boys will learn
like me
and humanity

So it's marriage then
with them and us
they give us lies so we give them our trust
NO

It's Me and Humanity
We're in love, but we're not supposed to be
It's enough with all this jealousy
Ive been closed behind the wisdom tree

Take another glance
at how the witches dance
for me
and humanity

they sell because you fear
but they stole the auctioneer
from me
and the rest of me

So it's marriage then
between them and us
they sell us lies, so we give them our trust

as for me
and humanity
I rest my case on Jealousy
Nov 2010 · 499
Hello. You Who Don't care
You never have


Will you ever?


Will you care for us together?


Together? Forever?


You've heard this before


You say a dead end


But you're still wanted M O R E

You're white lies are clever

Heather

But I know you don't care
Shades blur, entrance me


dew wanes frosty eves goodbye


and I melt with joy
Nov 2010 · 649
Glass
Glass is transparent
but shows my reflection
a loss and a gain
of a dire connection
Glass can be shattered
by present and plus
the past is a drug
kept for hands your can trust
Glass is a solid
it stands strong and tall
between you and yourself
and yourself and us all
Nov 2010 · 678
apoemforpoets
A pen. A quill. A stray piece off chalk
With so much to say
And such a small language
You flow with emotion
Under tree, over sea
By the knuckles you wear
You write letters to me

I thank you,
The poets
People
Of
Emotions,
Tears,
Script

With the letters you mix
Unreleased but related
A bond is created
A bond has created

A call to the poets of the 21st day
A song for the artists to keep on their way

Awe
Is a noted
And frequent emotion
A frequent emotion
For a northern bound notion

So I call to the poets of the 21st age
To never stop spilling your heart on a page
Nov 2010 · 744
The Ballad of Alinier
Alone in crowd and character
Alinier found his mate
An accident would guide them
to a golden arching gate

and as they passed eloped like lovers
under the passage's golden face
Alinier saw beyond the gate was
a thirsty, hollow place

the gate remaining open
he saw her beauty and confided
he stepped inside the desert land
and his fate had been decided

She turned to face Alinier
with eyes as amber flame
she uttered, "something you must do
before you know my name"

He spoke to her, "Pray, say your wish
so I may hold thy name!"
she swore, "you must cut both your ears
before you make your claim"

So with Shining Blade he lost his ears
and turned with crippled grin
to his smirking mistress, who spoke her name
but he would never hear again

He said to her in pleading
write to me your title miss!
but she wrote, "There's something you can do
and in return a kiss"

Alinier said, "Tell anything!
So I may keep one kiss!"
The woman said to take the blade
to both his drying lips

So with Shining Blade he lost his lips
and turned to face her, bleeding
she leaned and kissed Alinier's mouth
but he could not feel a thing

He cried to her with gurgled tongue
"My lady let's kiss and rest!"
She wrote, "there's still one task before
you see my flirting breast"

Alinier said, "Speak what you want!
So I may see your bossom best!"
She wrote, "you must remove your eyes
and I'll reveal my chest"

So with Shining Blade he lost his eyes
and as his darkness carried woe
the golden gate began to shut
and soon he was alone
Nov 2010 · 831
A Psalm and a Sorrow
Listen, listen, listen
You dig your graves with your ignorance
Listen, listen, listen
You hide the truth from your ears


You fools


Listen. Listen. Listen.


Listen to my Spirit capture your house
Is your attention mine?
You think this is just another poem
Then you are another loss

Listen to me!
You naive travelers!
You wander into land with no food or water!
And you welcome the drought of your soul

I beg you,
Listen
Welcome not drought
But instead welcome righteousness
And mercy, and unconditional love


Hear me


Do not close your mind to what is coming
You face death because of your charade
This is the end if everything.

As you know it.

Be pure and listen to my words
This is your crossroads
This is the end of everything
as you know it

You must


Listen.
The issue isn't that you react with perfection.
It is that you listen and you act
I saw a dim light
there was an artifact in my gaze
      ,however,
and I found that I had to look past a blade to see the light.


just to see the light.


An ancient blade of
A timeless razor with a word written
      ,freedom,
Or so it illuded in the darkness where I stood

I could hear the sirens
My life says they would sound beautiful
      ,however,
I have a heart of intent and a hand of doubt


I am in doubt
And hope is to blame
Hope is the name
Of my flickering fame
For the lost and unsure. The hopeless have been dared to endure
Everyday I live the world gets smaller
the numerous things that I vowed begin to vary
and in this ever shrinking world there remain many tunnels
tunnels that can bless and unviel, dizzy and tire and betray

Everyday I lift my eyes and witness just a little more
I see the depth in a human heart greater
and in stupor,
watch all the minute props that fill these spaces
spaces that can
mend and refresh,
scar and bewilder

I see the small things that matter

Everyday I live my passion grows stronger
The day I learn to take joy for nothing
Will be the day I discover something
That everyday I live my heart grows

I feel my heart grow one way or another
Everyday we live our hearts may grow larger
or harder
the first taunts the latter
so remember to fight for a heart grown larger

Everyday I fall and return from the dust stronger
the dirt is brittle and with time is cleansed
I beckon my heart to make amends
so as not to let it end

I learn to make a mile stretch farther
because everyday I live the world gets smaller
There are those you dislike and never see again
there are those you like and never see again
there are those you dislike and see often
there are those you like and see often
there are those you love and always cherish
and there are those you love and never let fall away
Nov 2010 · 725
I Remain Bitter at Me
I remain bitter at ME

Myself, and I are at battle

and I grow as tumbled as the sea

towards ME

as I feel my innards rattle

I remain bitter at me

Not because I have acted wrong

But because of self-dissapointment

I grow frustrated over song

And I long

For this internal affair to end


It is a frustrating thing
When a singer can't sing

So simple, but almost impossible
so simple, yet such a bitter thing
Nov 2010 · 766
To Work
Gears and gears alone can bring the motion that is everyday
Time shoos us forward as we fumble and trip into our subordinate routines
We blunder through space like old records
And discover ourselves in a smaller world every dawn

Disassembled by disapproval we submit to work
And our neighbors build their humble steads alongside us
Are days here for us or for others?
A question for the asking before we shuffle to work
Nov 2010 · 715
Pale and Distant
Still Air Is Around Me
as I stand on the line
The Pale And Distant Silence Says
the decision is mine
There Is A Twist Holding My Breath
and the beat in my heart
Its Speaks That If I Try Now
it is too late to start

Safety Is Temporal
along with blank time
A Wailing And A Writing
will stay the thoughts of many
The Meanings Seem To Lengthen
into stalks of dried and distant cane
there is no resolve

— The End —