The definition of forever
As I was always told
Was something pure and lasting
Neverending, whole
But now as I remember
Forever is not what it seems
Something lasting always
Could only be in dreams
And as I grew and shaped my mind
I created a definition of my own
So here I come to be
Still not fully grown
Though now I know forever
Is a thing of fantasy,
For that is what you promised
And look where you left me

library books;
     the musty smell floods me with
     thoughts of its past readers
     did a girl like me
     run her finger across this line
     as i have?
     will our lines like vines
     ever intertwine?

rainy nights;
     while the tip-tap and dribble of
     droplets hit my windowsill,
     i imagine gusts of wind
     dancing with one another:
     carless and free
     and without destination

light touches;
     the accidental bump of elbows,
     the awkward entanglement
     of fumbling phalanges,
     a gentle squeeze of the hand,
     a comforting gesture that says
     “i am here.”

now reverie this:
     you and i,
     the spines of our books broken,
          our shoulders barely brushing,
               the sound of soft and subtle raindrops
          all things i adore in one simple
      and seemingly endless moment

books, rain, touches, and you

i heard there are a thousand ways
to greet your body;
twenty one keep me up at night.
i don't know if i'm happy or sad
when i think of your skin.
its warm tone is the brightest star
in my universe, and i'm stuck
orbiting around it,
surviving off its rays.

i can't want you more.

when we last kissed,
over a thousand days ago,
something was taken from us,
locked up in a safe
we both have keys to.
maybe it's grown--
maybe larger than we can hold.

i can't love you more.

i've forgotten how you taste,
and that's a sin,
and i've forgotten
your glance, too.
don't be a stranger;
we're already so strange,
wanting to lap each other up,
but holding our jaws shut tight.

i can't stand it anymore.

i'm here for you,
with you, by you, inside of you.
i'd lie here naked for you,
but it's too cold
to sleep here alone,
exposed.