Many would say
That I'm a fool
If I laid awake at night
And only thought of you

But what if these thoughts
Were not of love
And they were hate filled and murderous
Precisely planned, with a fitting glove

Would it be a waste
To plan such a thing
When it would take you away
Along with my pain and grief

So as I think of you now
The feelings come even stronger
I've seen the way it unfolds
And for you, it won't be much longer

These feelings lay dormant
I see her with another
My rage grows
As their bodies quiver

I sit here in wait
My time to pursue
It is blocked; broken
The hands won't move

The ticking slows
It stops
My heart beats
It erupts

The last breath
I take
I move forward
I awake

Eye to eye
We meet
For an instance
We weep

Then the light
Fades to black
I hold her close
As her breathtaking eyes turn back

...

You came to me many times
In distress and in shambles
I held you close and gave comfort
I let you sadly ramble

I was there for you
In loneliness, grief, and success
You were there for me as well
When life gave me the hardest test

But what I could not see
You hid behind a veil
It distorted what I saw
It corrupted that which I felt

This veil of sorts
I would call it a mask
Allowed you to take things from me
As you creaked in from the back

You snuck up behind me
You defiled what I confided
It wasn't my friendship you were after
It was the one that betrayed me in which you were guided

This mask it so blocked
That which I could not see
Your eyes of deceit
And your face as it gleamed

For the one that was not
For the one that was coarse
It gleamed for the one
That one to whom you showed remorse

Of all the time we spent
Bonding and growing
It is with her now
Her now with which you are moaning

In the bed which her and I shared
Many a heated and passionate night
To where my unmentionables were stored
In her body so tight

Live your life with one eye
As it looks out far and beyond
For it is I that will be creaking
Creaking up behind you one morn.

The Twins they resemble
They are the same being
One's a little taller
The other's shorter, but equally deceiving

They are the same
In action, poise, and tone
Together they stand
Together they are at home

They nit and pick
Every little thing
They badger and belittle
Together they sing

One stands ahead
While the other is not
But together they stand equal
Or so they think in their thoughts

As they look down below
From their hierarch self made
They're blind to the mutiny
That dances above their graves

These twins they laugh
But we plot in the dark
The smell of their death
Will be ignited by the smallest spark

These twins will be separate
One day come soon
They will look for the other
Not knowing what to do

Hey old woman
Underneath my shoe
Tell me
How do you like the view?

Go on and tell me
That you like what you see
Compliment my fine leather boots
Or the bulge that’s testing the strength of my seams

You can talk about my muscles
Or my perfect jaw line
You could even compliment my eyes
And tell me how they’re so sublime

Oh, excuse me
Is my boot on your throat?
Allow me to move it a little south
So when you talk you won’t choke

Can you speak up a bit?
I don’t think I heard you so well
It sounded to me
As if you said, ”GO TO HELL!”

Well, that’s not very nice
And after all that I’ve done
To just disregard everything
This whole thing could have been fun

You know what, that’s alright
You don’t have to like what’s about to happen
All you need do is lay there and take it
But don’t worry, I have napkins

Though they’re not very absorbent
So, I’ll have to grab some towels
To soak up your blood
And the entrails that excrete from your bowels

After that, I'll clean up nicely
So they don't find a speck of you here
Every detail I'll cover
They won't even find your fire red hair

Now, just lay still and be calm
I’m going to do that thing that I do
I’m glad you’re my lucky thirteen
I’m glad I found you there, under my shoe

As the years you live
Are continuously progressing
You find new things
To keep you stressing

About a life that you
Hadn’t a thought about thinking
Because your head was in the clouds
And your hands were busy painting

Although time passes
Memories still hold true
Like those many times in math class
When you didn’t understand, and I helped you

Through the years I’ve seen you grow
And I’ve heard of some changes
But some things hold true
And I still have your paintings

A rose made of lead
A fallen savior risen from a blank sheet
And a man and his belly
With colors that made me think

About the person behind
These amazing creations
What a wonderful woman
With such a vast imagination

Beauty becomes you
And you’ve done nothing but flourish
Not one flaw would flaw you
You will always be timeless

Now, as these sentiments draw down
Let’s get to "brass tacks"
You’re all grown up now
And it might shock you to face facts

Because it’s hard to grow up
When all you want is to be young
To lay around with friends
And listen to your favorite song

This day is yours
In so many ways
Your 20’s are over,
IT’S YOUR FREAKIN’ 30th BIRTHDAY!!!

I hope the basket of goodies
Got to you in one piece
And didn’t arrive spoiled
Before you had a chance to drink and eat

Enjoy the cheese and crackers
In times of reminiscing
And save all the chocolate
For when you’re alone and pissy

The ***** is there for you
If bad memories should creep up
So you can wash them away,
And shut ‘em the **** up.

These are the first gifts
I’ve given in awhile
I hope it lifts your spirits
And brings you a smile

Now one last thing
Before my novice poem comes to a close
It’s just a short read
And it’s got a touch of flow

Take time to enjoy
All the things you hold dear
And grab all the moments
You can when they are near

Billions to fund a campaign
But, there's no money to educate the young brains

Billions to fund a campaign
But there's no funding for those that strain

Are billions really needed to win?
Would it not be easier to speak from your heart with an honest smile
And not a sinister grin?

Re-distribution of wealth?
I don't want a hand out
Just a little compassion
And free health

We don't want to chose between life, or food on the table
When emergency health costs our rent check
We chose the latter
And hope we remain stable

Oh, I forgot we're forced to pay for it now
When we can't afford to buy groceries
It slithered in as a "tax"
And I bet the healthcare corporations had nothing to do with this atrocity

Other countries do it and flourish
But we're so scared of that "*****" word
Even though it's been used to benefit and nourish
Their sick and their fertile

Some can't even afford
To pay for the necessities
But your rich friends take our hard earned money
And you give them lavish subsidies

Tax less the rich
And more the working man and woman
Because our lives don't mean a thing
We're just ants to which you burn

You're funded by the private
The unspoken
Yet we work until we are battered
We sweat until we are broken

Some can't afford to pay for dinner
But yet you take away our homes
You leave us cold and weathered
Humiliated and alone

There is no justice
It was blind, but now it's six feet under
Raise her from her grave
Lift her veil, so she can see the blunder

This poem is imperfect
But so are all we
You think you know what is best
But it's not best for this land of the free

You're turning it into a prison
Where the lies are the warden
Trapped inside is the truth
Everyday it's ***** and broken

Take heed your actions
And think hard of your decisions
You have a nation as your child
Raise us right and hold an honest vision

After long days of play
In the sun and into night
After diner with my folks
I head to the place that feels right

Tucked in tight
With my eyelids feeling heavy
I'm preparing for my trip; my adventure; my journey

I walk alone
Through a field of blue
There's no one here
It's just me and not you

Upon this place
That I reach with haste
It's filled with happiness
And a sweet escape

Streets made of candy
And buildings that talk
In my dreams I am king
It's where I fly, and don't walk

I see it now
Because I've never seen it before
A pink kangaroo
Eating pizza with a troll

I don't mind it so much
It seems normal to me
Just like that T-Rex
Playing up in the tree

This dream is big
And it stretches forever
It's where my mind takes over
And creates something clever

Life outside this great place
Is so dull and boring
Filled with homework and chores
And my parents that wake me up with their snoring

But here I can wonder
Through my mind's great creations
Whatever I want
Comes without limitations

And what should I write
That hasn't already been written
Should it be like a sonnet
About how I was smitten?

I want to write you the words
That would make Gods weep and demons cower
But my vocabulary is shot
And it hasn't much power

When I look upon you
I see indescribable beauty
But the thought of us together
Is more than unruly

To hold you would be
To hold the arc of the covenant
So far out of reach
But the thought in my head is redundant

These words make no sense
They are lost amongst the winds
Blowing by in an instance
As if from my lips they have never been

I wish I could go back
To the time when it was right
But that is something impossible
Since, for us, the right time is never right

Pickin' up my pants
From her bedroom floor
Lookin' at my latest victim
From the night before

When I was drinkin' everything
Like it was going out of style

I was drowning my sorrows
When I saw her fire up a Marlboro
She was
Swingin' her hips left to right

I've had this feeling before
Although,
It's been awhile
As she cranked that volume dial

I saw ***** cut off shorts
Raining fabric to the floor
Wearin' a low cut top
Givin' everyone a show

She had ***** blonde hair
But, I bet there's none down there
I'm thinkin'
I might give it a go

Because, she's the town ****
And, I'm in a rut
I'm gonna
Give it to 'er tonight

I throw her on the bed
So she knows her place
I rip off her clothes
Adding a little slap on her face

Because, she's the town floosie
It's gonna be a doosie tonight

As I finish her off
She lets out a cough
And I just
Watch her there

As she lies in the wake
Of a psychopaths fate
She knows
She ain't goin' nowhere

Because she was the town hussie
And my mood was a little fussy
I just
Had to release

Myself unto another
And see the blood sputter
As I
Watched in peace

Where are you going?
Don't try and leave
You're weak
And bleeding

You made the choice
The decision
To leave me in the gutter
To consummate the fruition

You did this to ME!
You sewed the quilt
Each patch forever together
But you didn't realize the sudden guilt

You felt when you were with him
It was just a revenge
****
An intuition

Now you look back in regret
In sorrow
Because you took me for granted
For borrowed

Now look at you
And look at me
Your safe in your state
In solidarity

But, I'm here
In the city that wakes
You're stuck with a life
That you wish you could shake

You did this to yourself
Your own
But, I'm sitting here nostalgic
Wishing you were home

I crack open the door
To see who's approaching
An angel comes forth
Or so I think from the flapping

I want to let you in
But there's only pain inside
That you'll live with forever
As it slowly rapes your pride

Your white dress will be black
If you enter this place
All love will fade away
And you'll sustain a bitter taste

So, turn around and leave
I beg you, I implore
Run away while you can
Leave me to die here, guarding this door

These puppets of
mine
They move as I
pull
It's hard to
believe
They once had a
soul

String won't do, So
rope is a must
That way when I
pull
Their bodies
violently
******

I pull at these
puppets
I am their
God
But I take away
free will
Because it's not their right, nor
my law

Dance
my lovelies
Bend to
my will
As I pull at
your harness's
As you wish
I'd have killed

See
Like
Smitten
Lust
Crave
Need
Want
Rejected
Approach
Stalk
Fol­low
Enter
Scream
Release
Repeat

Slitting your throat
I think to the past
About when we were young
And when you said our love would last

Holding each others hands
We hugged and we kissed
Looking into each others eyes
The feeling was bliss

I remember the nights well
When others went out, we'd stay
Watching a movie together
I would hold you close as we laid

Under the covers of my bed
Touching each other with intention
The soft caresses became loud
And your wetness gave my body extension

Our bodies became one
Into each others eyes we would gaze
Not one thing mattered
Just our feelings at this stage

These feelings are now gone
As you've laid with another
Now your family will mourn
And I'll come for the other

I'll show him your death
As he's bound and gagged on this table
The story of your vanishings
Will seem like a fable

Now as you lay in the dark
And the blood starts to flow
A tear streams down my cheek
As you pulse starts to slow

Goodbye my love
I'll see you someday soon
Maybe in the next life
You'll take me faithfully, as your groom

I've been betrayed by a few
The scars left
Make it look like an army came through

I'm left with a slit throat
And my body broken
I lay here in wait
Where by some angels came walkin'

They picked me up
And dusted me off
Though the dirt is embedded
And the pain wont stop

A bandage is placed
To cover my wounds
But it's only a temporary fix
As the water still seeps through

These bandages don't protect
They try their best to heal
But they only mask my pain
And distort what I feel

Locked in the trunk
My shocks hit violently
Old and tattered
I'm used to this calamity

Up and down
With no remorse, nor quandary
You break ever more
As you hit violently, repeatedly, upon the tattered upholstery

The destination we reach
Without haste, nor speed
We travel together, but seperate
Because you soiled my creed

This destination we reach
Under moonlight lit
Your realization brings me pain
But I will not show it

I release you to the night
And I watch as you plead
I pull the trigger slowly
Once squeezed, I watch you bleed

Small simple words
on an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of white paper
symmetrically divided
with two lines of red
vertically cutting
the perpendicular blue.
The words tell the story of us
of experience
of failure
of the time when the dogs got into the kitchen and devoured Thanksgiving dinner
of the time when it didn't work out
and you don’t know why.
Small simple words on a page.

High as the sky
Touching the clouds
My fingers separate the haze
As I fly by endowed

Of the person I am
At this time of tranquility
My thoughts flow free
Like the river runs swiftly

I take you in
And let you out
****** abounds
If I had the strength, I'd shout

Such a brief encounter
As I breath you into me
Now sleep, I must
Because, you make my dreams ******

This boy was alone
Properly dressed in black
He had fire in his eyes
And a one eyed bear in his lap

He sat on a bench
And at the people he glared
The parents smiled at their young
But would soon know of fear

He stood up hanging
His arms to his side
With that one eyed bear
Just along for the ride

The parents they screamed
As he tore through the park
The heat from his breath
Left every child scorched

The sands now stained red
And screams loom in the dark
Of the children who were
Of the children who aren't

The swings still sway
Though no wind seems to blow
And the footsteps of young
Are still seen in the snow

I will say goodbye
I wish I could stay
But, this gun in my hand
Says it will show me the way

The path leading from pain
Away from my grief
Never looking back
Not even in brief

I bid you adieu
So long and farewell
I leave you in mourning
I leave with the pain I could not tell

I think of your death
Every passing day
I wonder what I will feel
When you finally slip away

The hurt and the pain
I prepare for the best I can
But I fear for the day
When you can’t encourage, nor stand

My love for you is deep
It’s almost too much to take
It’s hard to prepare
For the day you won’t awake

I look at your pictures
And the smile on your face
I look at you deeply
I long for your loving embrace

Please don’t ever leave me
Please don’t say goodbye
You once said you’d live forever
You once told me you’d never die

Waking up
I want to sleep!
I want to drown this out
I want it bleeped!

No more reality
I want it altered
To live that way
I don't want to stay...in...this...reality

Drunk or ******
Only high or low
Never on the level
I just want to hold hands with the devil

This doesn't make sense
Why are you reading this?!?!

On this path I tread
Like a missile headed one direction
Moving violently forward
I'll only cause destruction

So don't try and save me
I'm gone, I'm lost
As you would a skipping stone
Just hold me for a moment, and then toss

More than you know, I hold you in the highest
Of others that walk, they don't compare in the slightest
To you I give thanks, for all the times you were near
Heaven can wait, because you're needed down here
Ever more I will love you, and if this day we should part
Reaching out for you, to the stars, I will always hold you in my heart