I told myself,
when I got in-country,
I'd fake it,
act like a saint,
do enough
just to survive.
'Cause in reality,
I didn't really want to hurt
anybody.
Well, so I thought.
When I heard my first explosions,
felt a few whooshes,
experienced some automatic rounds
whizzing
just overhead,
so close,
nearby,
I thought
what the ****,
I want some blood,
those ******* are
really trying to ruin
my ******* day
by killing me.

The peeking sunlight
cut like razors through
my pounding head.
The aftermath of tequila
emanated from my breath.

Some strange woman
wearing a red butterfly necklace
was in my jostled-bed,
she appeared dead.

A box of half eaten donuts
was on the table,
popcorn was scattered
all over the floor,
the door was ajar,
LaBamba played on repeat.

My feet hurt like hell,
it felt like every toe was broken.
A scorpion tattoo crawled up my arm
as the alarm clock blared.

Jesus, it was a bad morning,
but the night looks
like it may have been worse.

My head is buzzing loud
Six hours are missing, gone
Weird triangle scar

Alone in the darkness,
I held on tightly
to myself
as my heart raced.

Feverishly
building to a crescendo
with heightened-breathing,
I kissed the sky
& painted
the air
a brilliant shade
of bliss.

(Then I watched a burning star fall
to its death)

Bury me next to the prettiest river,
I want to feel her erosion,
ride her stream
to the sea
forever.....

The campfire burned low,
embers roasted
their glow off your pretty face
as we snuggled beneath
the splashed milk
holding hands,
we wished to stay
there forever.

And somewhere,
an owl
gave his report
as firefly ash
swirled upward
to the starlit sky
with our dreams attached.

Accidents happen.
I've seen them.
People blown away for one misstep.
I've seen the pieces
thrown into body bags like trash.
Riches to rags
in the split second of an eye,
bright flash.
So watch your step,
it ain't pretty.

Restless sleepless nights
Starving for more oxygen
Who suffers the best

Jeff carried
a deck of cards,
all aces,
all spades
& he had a habit of leaving
them in the strangest
******-places.

I can honestly tell you,
fear is real,
the rumors spread,
nobody in our sector
ever wanted to play cards
with Jeff.

I saw it,
saw it
in the dark alleyways.
They carried
on the tradition,
unpublished.

There are no monopolies on pain,
this loneliness
& if but for a brief moment
of human connectedness,
a chance to kiss the stars with another,
the fall would be worth it,
all over again.

She was the life of every single party,
laughing,
twirling,
singing,
floating like a butterfly with dilated pupils.

Sometimes she’d freak out,
sweat like a pig crying,
say she saw the music,
hear the color red  & *****.
It always matched her tie dyes.

She always made my day
& especially my nights!
She was Heaven-sent,
an angel above me.
She made me see the light,
I did not fight her.

She didn't care about
what any man thinks,
had nice thick-curls,
was not like any other girl.

But ****,
she cause me so much pain,
it felt like acid-rain
when she
got up and went
away.

She disappears,
now
in a burning haze,
streaming away,
across
another frontier
& the loss
stings.

She's a mean spirit
Been that way for a long time
Karma is a *****

I hear a songbird
singing outside
my concrete wall.
And though
the kisses
from the lonely minstrel
kills my pain,
I still miss you.

What exactly is counter-culture?
Colorful sleeve tats,
neon hair,
outrageous fashions,
multiple ***** piercings,
crazy ******* ***?
I think not,
that ****'s been around
for centuries.
I apologize for my foul language.
:)

I've sipped the nectar of the goddesses,
kissed the toes of princesses,
licked the backsides of queens
& became intoxicated.

Now afflicted, I'm addicted
to divine feminine-power
forever
& loving
every single minute of it.

She just wanted him to be real,
to be held,
have somebody to dream with,
feel some real mutual kisses.
And though it only lasted
for a little while,
it was the best he ever had.
He still trembles
deep inside
when he thinks about her
like that.

I've danced with zephyrs
in the jet stream,
gazed upon the curvature
while standing &
touched the stars
while dreaming.

So anything at sea level
seems anti-climatic at best,
is a test of patience
minus the adrenaline.

When the tequila stings my throat
things start to happen,
repression flows
forth
like a cat walking on water,
quick & frantic
I tell stories,
tales about things
I keep under lock & key,
living brokenhearted.

Well, **** mysteries,
don't let them stay bottled up,
guzzle gin instead of Mezcal.

Holy cow true believer,
poke yourself with ******
to find out what is righteous,
remember Camelot.

She ran away
from her loving home
to make a statement.
Her concerned parents,
her Mommy & Daddy,
meant no real harm,
they only wanted
the music turned down low
after midnight.

Running loose outside the flock,
she became nothing
but wolves' meat,
a tasty morsel
for the horde of traffickers
making statements of their own.

And now she lies flat on her back,
has joined the growing ranks,
locked away unsmiling
in the shadows of the big mean-city.
It ain't pretty,
living in debauchery,
where piles of ***** money
are exchanged between
greedy grubby lusting-paws.

She feels the weight
of a sick world
ten to twenty times a day
& sometimes more.
It's not called love there,
it's a steady business
listening to loud music
long after the sun sets
& way past midnight,
a fallen lamb
misses home.

I miss the hard breathing,
the gulping of frozen air,
the chunks of blood
spitting up from my dry lungs,
headaches & hypoxia,
the chronic lack of sleep,
& the holding of hands
with my mates
in the jet stream.

Passion reigns deep in my marrow,
it seeps throughout each and every vein.
My banged-up heart redistributes it by the minute,
my weary fingertips spew it constantly,
inside my buzzing head I think of ways to tame it, but it never seems to go away,
it's an affliction that started
even before time, it's genuine.

It rules my daily movements,
I carry it in my throat, it speaks to me
in my *****, makes my skin sensitive to touch.
I'm a fall guy for sunsets, full moons, loons on the lake, pretty beings of the opposite ***, the clinking of wine glasses, and lots of other simple things.
If you only knew how much I love
molasses & honey & pretty sweet faces.

Cupid plays hell with me, he sets me up for failure.
I always get lost in fiery sensuous moments,  I taste raw-things making it harder not to succumb to lustful-whims.
I relish thoughts about carnal sin, dream about intimacy between intertwined-bodies, but I'm not a *****.  I'm just afflicted with passion, attracted to others with the same condition, it always wins.

You really want to know
how any of us feels,
this long line of broken hearts.
It's melodic,
the sound of mandolins
& cymbals.
Every single one of us
is scared.
They always go away,
our lovers,
those sacred ones
who chained us
with heartstrings.
There is never enough time
not to be afraid.

Unnatural
he became,
up at all hours
walking the main deck
in gales & in the calm
watching the ripples,
the birds above the ocean
for any sign of recompense.

He burned the midnight oil,
toiled with the trivial,
fought with himself
for dominance.

He had become mad,
blocking out reality
because the white fish
had stolen his leg
& in the process,
hell came knocking
to sink his ship
& to break
his black heart.

My dog was a natural born killer.
I didn't train him that way,
it's just what genetics
did to him.
I'm a natural born lover.
The government tried
to make me a killer.
And I was for a while.
But now I'm finding out
more about my own genetics.
Ain't no killa here,
just kisses & smiles.

The path we call life
ain't easy,
but when I think about
the moon cycles,
the fusion of the sun,
the evaporation of water,
the creation of rain
& the tides,
why hide it,
there ain't nothing easy.
I guess
I gotta
just deal &
have some fun.

Lucy was majorly bummed,
looked seriously glum,
said her Daddy had taken
her T-Bird away,
wasn’t have much fun
anymore.

I said, “Are you freaking kidding me girl,
clearly you could buy a ‘Vette
& have just as much fun!”

Then she smiled with
that Lucy-gorgeous-smile
& replied,
”**** straight Jonny,
think I’ll head down to the dealership,
check thinks out,
there ain’t no way
Daddy’s gonna rain on my parade!”

There's a man in a purple shirt
eating ice cream
at eight in the morning,
a lady in a wheel chair
putting on lipstick
& an elderly couple
sitting
across from me
figuring out their smart phone.

Jim Croce croons
about time in a bottle
as the tapping of shoes
crisscrosses the concourse.

A baby screams
and three workers
converse in Espanol.
The ticket-taker types frantically
on her keyboard
as Mr. Nice guy
is longer,
he's ****** about
his missing reservation.

And me,
silent as can be,
sits here alone
banging away on my own cell,
connected to another world,
oblivious to those around me.

The intercom drones
a circadian rhythm
around here &
the lighting is diffused
to keep the masses subdued.
Baggage checkers
act robotic
& it doesn't really matter
if you miss your flight,
have a problem with your seat.
It's all factored
into the system
that the control boys control,
behind the scenes
of this perfectly
orchestrated illusion.

Strange days indeed,
I was stranded
at the opera turnstile
earlier this evening
when this dude
in a purple tux
strolled right up,
stuck his face in mine,
seemed like a genuine creeper.

He didn't say a single word,
just dropped his shades
enough for me
to see his kaleidoscope-eyes
& smile with a forked tongue.
Then he spit acid
on the sidewalk
in front of me
& strutted away
cocky-like.


I couldn't believe his brazenness,
how rude was that?
But ***, that's typical for his kind.
I thought,
it's going to be a whole lot of fun
kicking some alien tail
when the invasion begins.

My head is tuned-in
to ultra high frequencies,
way above FM.

And do you hear those voices
conspiring
above the rest,
plotting,
planning,
communicating
our demise?

Well, do you?

I hear things,
strange noises buzzing,
they sound like
strange transmissions,
some secret code,
tap, tap, tapping in my head.
It seems to be at its worst
near electronic appliances,
especially in the morning.

The toaster spoke to me in static,
it offered me a slice of toast
& the fridge broke out
a tall glass of orange juice.
I swear, I am surrounded
by alien hospitality.

Volcanic bathes sprinkle
the altiplano of my mind
filled with wanderlust.
I visualize the majesty
of the heavens there,
hear pan pipes wailing.

Ancients voices call me
to join them
on a different plane,
back to another time
long ago, back to
when they landed at Nazca.

I'd been watching the guy
for three hours.
He sat motionless
at the end of the bar,
spinning his finger around
the lip of a shot glass.

Strangely, everybody
that passed him
didn't seem to notice
his calm,
cool, quiet,
weird demeanor.

His eyes looked reptilian,
his tongue insect,
skin half-mammal.
I swear he wasn't human,
but it didn't matter,
everyone around him
was oblivious,
too drunk to
notice the alien
amongst them.

But not me,
I look for those things,
signals of
the coming invasion
& I think
it's going to start in
the pubs.

Pakols and goats and dying,
tar and printed money
and kerosene,
I saw enough destruction
to last a lifetime
crying.

I never really knew what it meant
until I read the words
of my kindred spirits.

Flipping constantly
Sleep a bit rough and tumble
I can't breathe like this

Your sugarcoating melted
when I doused you with
a steady stream of tears,
the ones you created
by stealing my heart,
then stomping all over it
with your petty fears,
the ones you created
in your jealous mind
& by doing so, you ruined
our love-connection
with your bitter
acts of juvenile-control.

And all I ever wanted
was you, not your
mean childish side.

She came over a bit late,
long after the sun went down.
There was something odd
about her squinty-eyes.
Her pupils were dilated
against her blue,
she looked possessed,
like the undead.
I was very spooked,
majorly concerned,
if she only knew,
what was I to do!

It was a huge relief
when I learned
it was only the ***,
‘cause I wasn’t sure  
how I’d handle getting
my neck ****** by
a foxy lady-vampire.
But my ****** sweetheart,
I won’t fight her,
she can bite me all night long,
all is well, ain’t nothing wrong!

We shot pool that night
for what seemed like generations.
This old bearded veteran and me,
a young buck,
dropped eight *****
into side pockets
and chugged multiple pitchers
of the high life.
He said he had some killer *****
out in his beetle,
so we took a break,
cruised out into the cool evening
under a sky full of pretty little stars.
Well he was right,
after two or three hits,
I wanted to choke the ever living ****
right out of him.
I never had a guy say
he wanted me
to lay on top of him
like that.
I never expected that request
from a guy
with devil tattoos
running down
each arm.
I thought to myself,
that's what sweet lovers do.
That was some weird ****.
Needless to say,
I lived up to my nickname Flash.
I never saw that **** again.
I was gone in an instant,
jet-stream quick.

I want to count your freckles,
every single one of them.

Think I'll start with your pretty face,
trace each one with a special kiss
all over the place,
the hidden ones, too.

And if I miss one,
I hope you'll let me
do it
all over again.

I've been looking for reasons,
the causes,
a basis,
some rationale,
a simple explanation,
seeking answers for these feelings
of detachment,
isolation & loneliness
& I think I stumbled upon
something significant,
momentous,
extraordinary,
perhaps even noteworthy,
I think I'm a test tube baby,
all the signs are (t)here.

The warmth of your skin,
your beautiful porcelain skin,
kindles my tortured soul.
From the deepest depths of my despair,
I dream of running my hands
through your luxurious hair
& the comforting thought
boils my heavy heart.
You know I wish that you were here.
I realize,
sadly,
all the time in the world
is running out.

"What an awesome actress!"
everybody back home said,
she had made it to Easy Street,
was a raw talent
living her life large.

But I knew better,
she had stayed in touch.
Through her tears,
she told me,
she had ****** herself
to the top.

It wasn't a ******* joke.
I knew how it broke
her small town heart,
******* herself
all the way
to Easy Street.

My how big and strong you are
& so handsome, too.
And oh,
you love to have so much fun!
Oh let me join you,
please,
I do,
too.
You are,
you know,
I know
you are the one.

And look at the size
of your billfold!
Oh Darling,
let me lighten it for you,
I can find ways to make you pay.

But what about my eyes Sweetheart,
the light brown ones
you said
made your world move,
took the frown
off your pretty face
& your knees grow weak.
What about them,
tell me about them again, Doll?
Oh, if you only knew
how much that hurt.

**** the money,
please come back,
I only wanted you.

There is a certain beauty
found in silence, terror too.

Do you hear it now,
the buzzing in your head,
the continual drip,
the hum of traffic,
the notes of songbirds
carried by the wind,
the ticking of the wall clock,
the silence of being alone?

Climbing down
the glacial chute,
I expected Terradactyls
at any moment
looking for supper
& I prayed for deliverance.
Surely, I'd be easy pickings,
for I was no match
with my blue ankle
and sticks and stones.