Sometimes I'm just so scared that
If I said no, you'd walk out and
Leave

Like everybody else.

I'm worried you'd become blind like the crowd,
Growing too busy to care
With other people to attend to,
Parties, events, jobs, work —
And you'd leave me here.
Alone.

I really don't want to tie you down either.
There are so many other people out there
That would make you so much happier than I would.

And I know that.

I'm worried you'd get tired of listening to the same ****
Over and over and over and over again,
But the problem is the **** keeps coming back and

I don't know how to stop it.

People think I'm attention-seeking and
Extremely unoriginal to have the same story keep
Popping up again.
They think I'm such a fudging great actor.

And I agree sometimes.

Because they don't see the
Invisible tears that flow.

I'm worried that you'd just give up on me.
Because I'd give up on me.
In fact, I already kinda have.

People tell me
I'm crazy.
And I know I am.
I have a fudging mental disorder for goodness sake,
Crazy is the new normal.
And I'm used to that bit.

But if people are sick,
Do you not care for them?
Why do people run away?
Why do people avoid?
Why do people leave
Because they think

I'm fudging crazy.


I'm trying not to be.
I really am.

The forest is no place for a girl
Snowflakes fall and tumble and twirl
Did her parents love her? Did anyone?
She ponders, staring at the setting sun

Her heart pounded in her chest
Parents voices chanting, "Do your best.
Come in first, get good grades."
Each word a sharp and deepening *****
Cutting through her heart and mind
Where on earth could she possibly find
The courage she needs to survive

Because the forest is no place for a girl.

She ran and ran, through the woods
Doing what she thought she could
The day had almost turned to night
She shrilly screams with all her might
She runs, not knowing where to go
The shivering cold, the blankets of snow

The wolves, they cry out to the moon
They surely will be hunting soon
What will she do to stay alive?
How can she live a constant life
Of running from the beasts out there
Knowing they are everywhere
Now she sees they are within,
All her troubles, every sin
It's too late now, she's realized

That the forest is no place for a girl.

Branches start to grab her now
She needs to leave, get out somehow
How could she have been led astray?
She cannot live her life this way!
Each problem now such foolishness
She longs now for a hand's caress
But all she has are chasing beasts
Longing for a human feast

She prays to God, her only choice
With all her strength, with all her voice
"Please save me from the beasts I face
You know that they will win this chase"
She did not know if God had heard
Each and every single word

Now the wolves were all around
She stopped, not making any sound
They looked at her with beady eyes
Staring at their final prize
When suddenly a flash of light
Like ten million suns burning bright
Caused the wolves to run away
Leaving her alone to stay

The light had slowly disappeared
And now a peaceful man appeared
Dressed in white, He walked to her
"You saved my life, didn't you, sir?"

"I did what I knew must be done
I am the Lord, The Three in One."
She clung to Him and silently wept
While He held her and closely kept
Watch over her

For He knows the forest is no place for a girl.

*cc

What kind of monster am I?

Now that she loves him more,
And quarrels (slightly) less,
Why do I still feel this
Inner hatred and
The longing for him to stay





Far far away?

Is it because of the disgust?
That memory
Of him

There

In front of his
Huge computer screen and
A fallen off towel and
The early morning beer and
Those stupid stupid stupid

Videos.

But even so,
The hate can't last
That long, can it?

What is up?
I don't know.
What's wrong?
I don't know.
What did He do?
I don't know.

I don't know
I don't know
I don't know

I don't know...

I'm a monster
To wish them to be
Apart
Just so I don't need to face him.

I'm a monster
To wish her to
Crash the car and die
Just so he'd feel true suffering.

I'm a monster.
I'm evil.
I'm very very

Bad.

Oh, how do you not worry?

One's sick and overseas,
One's in camp,
One's not replying,
One's out for a dinner,
One hasn't been replying since forever,
One doesn't ever talk...

Oh, the only comfort is that
He's not going but
Still
The thought of travelling is just

Horrifying...

What if I freak out during OBS?
What if I have no friends?
What if no one understands?
What if the counsellors see?
What if I get sent to the counsellor?
What if they all die?
I'd be so

                                                               ­ [Alone.]

What if I really go mad?
What if I die before that?
What if I die tomorrow?

How do I tell someone I died
When I'm dead?

What if my friends die?
What if they're already dead so
They can't tell me?
Is that why they don't reply?

I'm not gonna have any friends.
I'm not gonna have any sleep.
I'm not gonna have anything.

I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead,
I'm going crazy, going crazy, going crazy.
Oh, how do you not

**Worry?