There is reason

Why I can't say I love you.
Why I cant say I miss you when I do
Reason is the only reason I dont have what I want
And I cant tell The venus fly trap how important the way you eat is to me
There is a reason I cant say its most beautiful in the sun
Or what you would call those things that change colors everyday magic
I cant give any reasons but there is a reason
Hate for how much poison you gave me the first time I touched you
Leaves its mark for all to see in the illusion of my own eyes
Only I can seem to find the remedy but for some reason, some way your still amazing to see and of that
I cant leave you, and not because I dont have a choice but,
Because everything is happening for a reason,
Now be a good plant and wait for your tasty fly to come around
Cause it will, like fate wields it to

Believe me because I’m all out of options
Believe me because am falling for a lot of distractions
I need to be honest and I was but honestly turn into lies
Formed by desperation I cried for you and told the world I would die for you
And now I will, for I tarnished the very fruit I wanted to pick up.
I fill it with poisons to think it would get better but to only worsen
I’m sorry Grape is sorry

The world slows down briefly as if I was on a cloud with you and you only
And God as our witness, its blissful almost nostalgic in a Tom Sawyer kinda way
Our eyes speak 1000 words for every blink and 1 Million for every gaze
I only wish true words could surface and graze the true meaning of Dedication
If only I could feel whole when you say the hurtful things, you don’t know nor do you realize
But tearing my heart away like a sea on a rainy day not realizing
I’m drowning more, losing more. Almost a half of myself but only a part
It’s like feeling will never be as intimately communicated the way a sound can expose it
How raw it can be

It’s something that should not be given, but earned
How can you trust someone who has hurt you, betrayed you?
Should you be that man/women that always needs to forgive?
To be the person who puts their heart on the line once more, and get hurt once more?
And for what??
So you can fight more? And for what Love?
Does she/he even care about you??
its crazzy with two Z's because you do it but just don’t get it.
you just want to be heard, loved, and wanted
how many times? That’s the real question..

When I cry it’s not because I am hurt its because you have betrayed me
When I cry I think did you think that I didn’t feel connected, Drawn by your astonishment?
I cry because I needed a person like you to be there for me
I cry because I wanted to feel whole again, the way you made me feel
But I see now, this was all just another front, to destroy the hope i had in a chance to be happy
And I see now, I can never just have a person who is happy with me just the way I am
Because I’m like A Broken Toy.

"She got me up all night ", constantly reading these love songs.
“would you believe me if I said I was in love??"
As I grab that Rubber hand grip and pull back,
She starts to squeeze harder around my waist
And with both hide from the hastened wind
She turns with me because she feels safe, confident,
We have done this before and she likes it, it’s exciting for us both as we share this time
Slowing down now, she still squeezes me, realizing that,
Our hands are together flowing freely through the air as we swing together like a pendulum balancing on the world itself

Truly at peace

Its happening again, The realization of fate taking hold of what most dear
Pain runs threw my vains like a raging bull in a pin
Hot and angered because the wish of being in a better place cannot be fathomed
Living in the world we live you I cant help but to think
There is no help for such man as me, Im lost in my own abyss of pain.
The wanting of my heart to cry out its true meaning is but a dream of some shooting staring hoping to Fulfills ones desires. And as I released what has held my heart for so long
The realism in the fact my heart will never be mine but always her's
For the Void was only another gate of pain i let enter my life,
And alone I will Always stand forever Forgotten,unoticed un appreciated
For the girl that I love that thinks of others