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Jon Tobias Jul 2012
She struck a chord although off key
She heard the beauty

So much noise like an overly passionate remix
Of a song that should have said one thing

To her there was language
In the rough off key finger press of her piano

To the rest of the band class
She was noise

Even after the teacher explained
She would never learn piano
How some people can’t be good at everything

She still showed up for music practice
With a song in her heart
So heavy
It made her consider opera
And Latin as a second language

Some of us will never learn some things
Like how to give up
When all we ever wanted
Was to make enough noise
For people to notice

So after practice
As she walked home
Her teacher picked her up

Explained to her about wasting time
Left out how secretly he wanted an entire successful band class

Explained how the truth hurts
But better learn it now
Than discover it later and feel like a failure

“You’re the only one who feels like a failure”
She said

And the next day
Her bench was empty

Though every note was perfect
And the music teacher was smiling
What happened was a tip-of-tongue beauty
Like something was missing

Even without her
They all felt a little off-key
Circumlocution: The use of an unnecesarily large amount of words to express a single idea.

First line donated by Donie.
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
Loneliness is like hunting for redwood trees
Their gnarled faces
Gritting teeth

They bite the loveliest poison

Out of all the holes your heart couldn’t fill
Sprout carnations
Sprout dahlias

All crimson petals
Blooming from the places
You wanted to be held

Loneliness is a garden
That no one tends
So you choke on the roots

Your tongue turns green
And little tendrils tickle up your throat
Looks like worms at first
But those come later

Pretty soon you’re planted
And collapsing blood red beautiful

Loneliness kills you sometimes
Turns you into a garden after you go hunting
For redwood trees

And on the brief occasions the light breaks the treetop
It shines on you
Just a few red red flowers

A little girl sees one maybe
She plucks what’s left of you

Places you in a vase
That sits on a kitchen table
Without much sunlight

Loneliness is you in a vase
Trying to be as beautiful as you can
Before your petals fall
And your stalks wilt

For a girl
Who thought you were worth taking home
Long enough to brighten up a kitchen

A few days maybe
That’s all we can hope for
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
At the library I look for old books
Ones that might have actually been owned
Before they were borrowed

I write fake love letters on the inside
How I want these stories to change some person’s life

Now these novels are secondary
And the people finding them make up their own stories

They constantly ask themselves what it means
How it relates

In some I make lists
Of the parts of my body that still function

Some
See you final chapter

Some
This is the reason I almost didn’t **** myself

Some
I write what I really want to tell her

How seeing her sometimes
Is a punch to the gut
Like a fire at a library
And I dry heave barely blank pages

She comes here a lot
And if she knew
She might read them and wonder
Why I chose the books I chose

So in one I write
I don’t know
I’ve never been good at telling stories
I thought you’d make up some beautiful reason
And I could say yeah

In the bible I write
I never believed in god
But I also never believed
The story is over
After reading

The end
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
“I don’t believe in love”
She says

As I speed through a yellow light
She presses her first ******* to her lips
Then touches the roof of my car with them
She shuts her eyes

I don’t ask her why
I just trust her intentions

In the same way I don’t believe in anything myself
Save for the passion that takes hold of others
When they believe

I like what that looks like

The word believe when broken down
First means to live
“Be” means to exist as
Or to live

And “Lieve” means love
And I think about the bravery it takes
To believe in anything
And the bravery it takes to love
And how that same bravery is made by love

How many stupid things have we done
Just by loving someone?

How many arguments are there against a belief
In anything?

I don’t believe in god
But I believe in you

When I watch you do things
Like superstitious knee **** reactions
To keep the light yellow a little longer

So on the ride home I do the same thing
As the sun bends it’s yellow into red over a horizon
That is kissing our sunburnt necks

Because I want this car ride to last a little longer

Even though we say nothing
And you don’t ask why for the last fifteen minutes
I’ve had my fingers pressed to the roof of my car
A satisfied smile pressing back my cheeks

You just trust that I feel this means something

So maybe you don’t believe in love
But you believe in something
And by doing so
You are partaking in love on some weird level
Subconsciously
Like breathing

But I want this car ride to last a little longer
So I say nothing
Let the wind **** the silence like white-noise
It’s as close to prayer
As either of us
Will ever get
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
If anybody feels like taking a break from poetry, here is a short story I finished last night. It's very short. Feedback would be much appreciated.

http://normanshine.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/a-good-man/
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
She is so good at burning down bridges
That I don’t know what to do with the singed rope
Hanging from my backbone

But thank goodness
She birthed a crash-lander
In the off chance she severs our last ties
Because if I pinch my vocal chords tight enough
They double as a rip-cord attached to a parachute
I got buried in my heart

This doesn’t feel so much like having the wind knocked out of me
As much as it does landing safely

It’s how she made me
Raised me to crash and live

I am broken bone-callous- heal
Knuckle-scar and broken tooth smile

And you made me

Like that one time
You let him make me
Place my hand on the car door frame
So he could smash my fingers in it

I don’t even remember what I did that day
So doing it again?
Probably I’ve done it

My hand used to hurt some nights like a memory

It takes long time to forget
How to phantom limb our trauma
Like we might learn from it

I am not perfect
Which is why they remain nameless
I have probably been guilty
Of doing the things I am accusing them of

Hurting people I love

But thank goodness
Nature is the kindest architect

And I am ready to rebuild
Jon Tobias Jun 2012
At first I felt so small
As the oceans in her eye sockets
Threatened to tidal wave

At first I wanted to be charming
Then I wanted to be funny
Anything to stop her from breaking her bay
and anything to keep me from drowning

Whatever man has been here before
and whatever man will be here again

Do not let him speak for you
*now
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