I'd like to think I'm a hopeless romantic,
but honestly if I had a time machine
I wouldn't go back to you and me.

**Dinosaurs.

Johnny Cash said love burns.

Lets swap saliva until it tastes like gasoline
and our lips turn into phosphorus.

All we need is some friction
and we'll be a bonfire in no time.

I got the hint
I can solve the puzzle
But I won't walk away a grand prize winner
I've spent too much on vowels
Trying to put "U" and "I" together
Now I'm left with only "Y"

I'll stand outside
and blow you kisses
until my lips are chapped
and blood runs down my chin.

So the next time
your cheeks are brushed
by a gust of wind, remember,
my love is a tornado.

I've been tying strings and slamming doors
to get you out of my smile.

Now I'm looking for a set of lips
that taste like novocaine.

When I die,
I request that you steal
my corpse from the morgue
and bury it in a garden
in your backyard.
That way,
even when I'm rotting flesh
I can continue to make
something beautiful for you.

Let's jump each other's bones in a graveyard.
You can kiss my neck until I transform into a vampire.
I'll **** your brains out while the undead claw open their caskets.

Life is *******, death is God's forte
I would say **** the world but I'm stuck in foreplay
Why do you have to take friends that I had since the fourth grade

Rest in peace Allen Joseph Field
April 4th 1995 - July 7th 2013

Allen, I never would have expected to see so many familiar faces from our graduating class so shortly after we graduated
Honestly I didn't care to see half of them
Allen, I will never get to see your face again

Allen, the day I found out you had died I woke up to a group text from my best friends, missed calls from my mother and the second I stepped out of my doorway my father asked me if I had heard the news
I had, but I didn't believe it

Allen, when I went to work that day I was bagging groceries and saw a customer's eye light up as she realized the woman in front of her was a friend she hadn't seen in a very long time
I will never to run into you at the grocery store

Allen, the last time I saw you and actually talked to you was in a CD aisle at Walmart
You made a joke about how it looked like I was bald because I was wearing a hat and had just gotten a haircut
You made me laugh
Allen, you always made everybody laugh

Allen, I wish we stayed closer through high school
But I still remember freshmen year when we would play Xbox live and you would yell so loud I'd have to take my mic out
Or when we would ride our bikes up and down Black Hall Road and hangout a James' house and his dad would tell us to be quiet because we were all laughing so loud
And before that when you were just a mop of hair and a smile doing the truffle shuffle to make everyone in class crack up

Allen, I remember going to your birthday party one year and your mom owning a ton of ******-Doo DVDs
It tears me apart knowing that there is no mystery at the end of this episode that we can't pull the mask off of your ghost and bring you back

Allen, I wanted to say something at your memorial service but I couldn't compose myself
I hope it still means as much now

Allen, I never would have thought the new kid in my fourth grade class that would follow me a Danny around would have such an impact on my life
I never would have thought I would call you a best friend
I never would have thought I would see you go

Allen, everybody knew you loved to drive fast but none of us thought you would take it that far
That you would challenge God to a race in his golden chariot
That you would pass him and take the lead
That he would strike you down and take you from us
Allen, I pray your last seconds on Earth were pure euphoria
I pray you didn't have to feel a thing

Allen, I only believe in angels when I think about you

Ever have one of those nights where you listen to Johnny Cash's cover of Hurt on repeat while you drive your car into the city and proceed to climb the steps of a parking garage while you try to get your ex girlfriend to answer her phone and when she doesn't you stop sit on the third story railing look down and think maybe if I fell I wouldn't quite die but then she'd have to acknowledge that I still exist.

Ever have one of those nights where you're hanging out on a roof with your friends and you're standing on the edge and you really want to jump but instead you step back and freestyle the bars "**** love it ain't a beautiful thing/ it was created by the Devil and all his demons/ and everything's swell til its ******* ending/ then you're slicing through your left wrist's ******* tendons."

Ever have one of those nights where you're in the driver's side back seat and your best friends are filling up the rest of the upholstery and you're having a good time playing "have you evers" and "would you rathers" and **** get's real serious when you friend turns around and says "Jon, do you cut yourself?" and you just feel the tears run down your face a nod you head and they all tell you they love you and they're always there for you and you know that and you've known that.

Ever have one of those nights where you put on one sneaker just so you can stomp on an old disposable razor spend thirty minutes picking off all the plastic pieces and then carve a train track down your forearm in hopes that all your sadness will climb on board a locomotive travel out your veins down your finger tips and crash land on your bathroom floor.

Ever have one of those days where you’re ten years old and no one’s home besides you and your two sisters and you end up getting in a fight over something you can’t quite remember but you end up in your bedroom crying and decide it’s a good idea to take a belt and wrap it around your throat climb onto your dresser and jam the buckle into the slot at the top of your closet door.

Ever have one of those days where you jump
Where your body swings like a pendulum
Where your toes claw at the side of your bureau
Where your sister holds your dead weight until your feet can find a flat familiar surface and you can breathe again

Sometimes I look at myself and think why have my scars healed so seamlessly as if there were never wires strung through my wrists like a marionette manipulated by the hands of hopelessness maybe the last time I drove a razor blade into my forearm the puppeteer made a mistake and severed the strings he had laced deep inside my tendons.

I once filled a bathroom sink with my sadness and walked away I still don’t understand why if Earth is 70% water God allows so many people to be walking aquariums why he gave them leaky faucets and hands that could turn them like a door ****.

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like there are not enough “do not disturb" signs in the universe and you've had this growing curiosity your whole life about who is knocking on the other side.

I'll grow old with you,
hopefully one day I can forget.

Physical attractions
cannot pull me from my
emotional attachments

Okay, I'll admit it, when I invited you over to play "the floor is lava"
I threw every piece of furniture I own besides my bed out my window .

I thought it would be fun to play pretend. Backs to my mattress acting as a raft
lost in the middle of the ocean with great white sharks circling at our toes.
I was hoping you'd get really scared and then hug me really close.

And when I told you to pick a card, I may have rigged the deck
with thirty-two of my hearts so the chances of you picking me were extremely in my favor.
I thought if I learned enough tricks then one day I could saw your insecurities in half
and make everything that ails you disappear.

When we kissed for the first time I think I caught a cold.
When we ****** I struck a fever, I refuse to see a doctor.
Chicken noddle soup and orange juice have been off my menu ever since.

I just pray to God that you are not contagious to anyone else.

I could drink water until I feel better
but there are not enough oceans on the planet.

On the other hand you are merely 60% water
but maybe one kiss could be my cure.

Love is so stupid
We could be smart together
I've been taking notes

You're worth more than every penny I've thrown away wishing it was still me and you. Every 11:11, birthday candle, and eyelash.

You're worth more than everything NASA has spent going to the moon, but I'd multiply that by two just to give the stars to you.

You're worth more than my bill on iTunes if I bought every song that reminded me of you, or every romantic comedy I wish we starred in.

You're worth more than the bus fare the words "I love you" dished out the first time they made their way from my lips into your ears.

You're worth more than the rent the butterflies pay to live inside my stomach every moment I am with you.

So the next time a boy makes you feel worthless, just remember, you're worth everything to me.

I'm not some sort of endangered species.
I'm not a ******* Pink Lady Slipper its okay to pick me.

Pluck me
Love me
**** me

Just tell me the truth.
Before I grow roots into you.
Rip open my rib cage and ever so gently pull the weeds from my tangled bones.
Hold me against you like a bouquet of roses.

I want to know your plans.
So show me the schematics of your heart beat,
I promise my blueprints are so much more than the veins in my forearms when we hold hands.

I'm trying to find a forest.
I'm tired of climbing over mountains,
just to walk through fields of dandelions.

Sometimes I miss you so much that I forget things about myself,
like, what my smile looks like or the sound of my own laughter.

But still my mind is filled with all of these useless facts
like, Charlie Chaplin once entered a Charlie Chaplin look-a-like contest and came in third place

The Empire State building was the first man made structure you could jump off of and reach terminal velocity before you hit the ground

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
Females' hearts beat faster than males'.

Dogs can make ten noise while cats can make nearly 100.
There are approximately 9,000 taste buds on the human tongue.

You hate thunderstorms, I am a thunderstorm.
I know its impossible to die from a broken heart.

But lately when I look in the mirror I can't even recognize myself
and reaching terminal velocity sounds sweeter and sweeter each day

At night I can not fall asleep because I am haunted by the thought of you.
My heart has almost stopped beating in your absence.

If you called me on the phone I would not know what to say,
but still your lips are the only thing my taste buds recognize as happiness

You hate thunderstorms, I am a thunderstorm

I know that you left me, so why won't you leave me?
I know that you left me, so why won't you leave me?

I'm sorry if I seem confused.
When I think of you all the words are in French.
I once heard it was the language of love.

If every kiss could last a lifetime,
I wouldn't stop at just one.

Feelings change like autumn leaves,
but mine for you are evergreen.

I want to sip from your hourglass,
then kiss you until we're choking on pearls.

When I hold your hand
I will slip a piece of coal between our palms,
I won't let go until we're clutching a diamond.

I know the time we spend together is priceless,
but this seems like a pretty good start.

I'm not going to lie, I wish I was smoother
I wish I could maneuver my hands over her body to soothe her and use my words to woo her
But sadly I'm just another shy loser
An introverted introvert introspectively interested in what exactly the thing in her chest cavity is
A pessimist would say a broken heart turned winter cold
An optimist would say a heart more valuable than gold
A realist would say the main ***** that lets humans survive
but I would say its a home and where her love strives
and amazingly its three stories high with a fresh cut lawn and flowers reaching toward the sky
painted bright white like the fire burning inside mine but somehow I'm still alive
You see it's sad but its funny my house has all fallen down
A girl tried to spark a flame but burned me from the inside out
So I cough up these dark smoke clouds from my charred lungs
While I trip over words from my swollen tongue that was once stung by the bumblebee of love
So I hide from the flame in a bathtub full of shyness
because you can't see but behind this image of a nice smile and dark green eyes
lies a guy who's confidence was shot down and slowly but surely died
And believe me I tried I tired to dig the body up but I got about 3 feet deep
before I grew tired and crawled back into her sheets
Its like every step forward and there's a bear trap but I swear I'll never turn back
Because its love it makes you dumb its love it makes you so stupid
and I'm not sure if there's a God but I'm sure as hell there is a Cupid
I'll be whatever you want me to be just tell me and I'll do it
You probably don't like me very much I said hello and I blew it

I want to guide my fingertips down your backbone, using vertebrae like stepping-stones across my river of dreams into a beautiful reality of you and me.

I want to do laps in your smile and blow my speakers out to the sound of your laughter.

I want to find every ticklish spot on your body, map them out, and mark every treasure with a kiss.

I want to hold your hand, like we handcuffed ourselves together and then swallowed the keys to each other’s hearts.

I want to take a spray can full of emotion and graffiti a wall, of a police station, during the middle of the day, as if opening up isn’t dangerous enough…

I want to show you that I’m dangerous enough, that my heart could jump the Grand Canyon for you, with no helmet or elbow pads, because every scar is a story and stories are my business.

I want to shake the hand of the artist who controls your paintbrush eyelashes creating beautiful works of art every time you blink.

I want to **** the nicotine from your black and gold lips until I become your new addiction.

I want to become one of your bad habits, like procrastinating to get out of bed with me.

I want to replace your morning coffee and your hot showers. I’ll be the first thing to warm you in the morning and the last thing to hold you at night.

My arms will be like scarves laced with melatonin wrapped gently around your head as you drift away to the sound of the broken rainstorm locked inside my chest…

I want to show you what is inside my chest.

I want to show you my best, but I’m nervous my smile won’t be enough because I haven’t been flossing with my cerebral cortex and I’m afraid I won’t think before I speak.

So I’ve been biting my tongue until ever word that eventually crawls its way out of my mouth stains my shirt crimson.

These walls I’ve built are a prison and I’m growing tired of the view. I’ve been digging escape routes to landmines that blast me back to square one. So take a diamond wrecking-ball and crash into me like a kamikaze under cupid’s orders.

I need you to make the first move because I can’t open my mouth to say “hello” when I’m busy gnawing at the bear traps around my ankles.

But I swear when my legs are free I’ll drive to you like a car fast as death because I’m running from a daisy that I couldn’t pluck and trying my best not to end up like Gatsby.

And although I still have a bee hive full of romantic ideas of recreating the past resting on my shoulders, I want you to be the smoke that kills the buzzing.

I don’t have to be your everything; I just want to be your something.

And I wish I could be like Houdini so I could escape this straight jacket sewn from the fabric of time dyed blue by every ex of mine.

And when I take a punch of courage to the stomach, I hope I walk away with a smile instead of in an early grave.

You’re my cup of tea
but I’m afraid you’ll burn me
Early one morning as the sun’s rays
shine through my Earl Grey mental state
You have a sweet but bitter taste
You’ve caught my gaze
I’m stuck steeping in your beauty
You’re a herbal remedy
For cold mornings and long nights trying to fall sleep
The chamomile that sends me into an eternity of dreams
Two spoonfuls of sugar and a little bit of cream
I’ll use the air in my lungs to blow away your steam
But if you spill you will stain me
and I’ll never get my sweater clean
But the first sip is always worth it
Never perfect but makes you come back for more
The taste lingers like honey and ginger
or a mint melody on my timid lips
Craving but cautious for a second sip