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308 · Nov 2014
No
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
No
I wish that I could just be a normal kind of person,
I wish that I could just fall in love
and shrug it off if it falls through
could just have had a regular and everyday
kind of love that high school and college years
were meant for.

As much as I may wish it otherwise, I
must accept the foolish fact that I
am breaking without you.
308 · Feb 2016
Non-Color
Jon Shierling Feb 2016
Try to tear the words from my lungs,
I have nothing to say.
Claw the flesh from my ribs
and find my chest empty.
Eyes the non color of rain drops
that give you nothing to grasp.
Come to me seeking nourishment
salvation from a ghost is not forthcoming.
I hate you for the helplessness you foster
the mute hunger of the drowning woman.
Go from me and forget my name
I have nothing else for you.
308 · Apr 2016
Seeing Through
Jon Shierling Apr 2016
When you finally stop accepting lies from the rest of the world, keep in mind that you won't be able to stand your own ******* anymore either.
306 · Nov 2014
Don't
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
Please don't look at me the way you do,
with those crystal blue eyes burning right through me.
Don't ask me about people I used to love
whenever we get drunk.

Please don't touch me when you lean close
with perfect hands that I don't think have ever harmed anything.
Don't express such tenderness to me
while thinking you were critical of yourself.

Please don't talk to me the way that you do
reminding me of the dreams that I left a long time ago.
Don't ever kiss me softly
and ask what it is that happened to me.

Please don't think that I might be the right man
for you, because I can't live up to that.
Don't let me start hoping
that meeting you wasn't an accident.

Please stop being the person I've not been looking for
and happened to stumble into.
Don't let me fall in love with you.
305 · Dec 2014
Falang
Jon Shierling Dec 2014
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXCPaCr4pdc&spfreload;=10

And we in the Occident thin we're superior?
http://www.thethailandlife.com/interview-jordan-clark-producer-director-bangkok-girl
302 · Jul 2017
Remember
Jon Shierling Jul 2017
See me.
Really see me.
As I see you.

I've heard of you woman,
I knew your eyes were oceans
and your heart was a sacrifice
long before I came burning out of the desert.

I know that you were beaten
and I know you had your soul ripped out
by the ones who ought to have cherished you.

But I....I am not those men.
I was not sent here to take
but to give.

I long for the lost gardens of Cordova,
for the glory that was love and light
along the banks of the Guadilqivir
that river still flowing through my heart.

Yes, by all means test my resolve,
I have witnessed too much horror
to let one more heart be wasted.

I want to love you,
I want to take your suffering heart
and pour all the love God has given me
into your many wounds.

But it isn't in my power to do that,
It isn't given to me to rewrite your
book of tears and sacrifice.

I have been sent here,
journeying so long and so far
that I had nearly forgotten what
a home felt like until I woke
with you in my arms.

You kissed me,
and I heard the music again.

You touched my soul,
and the rains came at last.

You open my heart,
and I remember.
299 · Jan 2015
Waves
Jon Shierling Jan 2015
All my life I have lived
next to oceans or mountains,
and at one time both.

I have lived with people
in these these places as well,
some of them beautiful
and some made terrible.

I see my bookshelf next to my door
and I hear the waves crashing with my
window open, but it seems to
mean nothing to me anymore.

I understand now that my
essential fallacy was in thinking
that me, being broken, could
somehow heal myself by
healing others.

The realization that my
entire way of looking at life
is entirely superfluous,
may be more than I
am willing to accept.

I go to bars with the
intention of putting
assumptions behind me,
of seeing people without
the judgements laid upon
me and without the judgements
I in turn lay upon them.

But  know that it means nothing,
that all of my writing and
all of my talk about God
and Morality and the search for
Truth is merely a cover, a charade.

All I have ever been looking for,
the only thing that I have ever really
wanted more than money or talent
or prestige or power, more than
anything...is for someone to
tell me that it will one day be ok.
298 · Nov 2014
Morning
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
The shotgun sun rose
this morning to find me
again running awake
after 24 hours of work
and drink and rage.
7 AM rolled around
and I hit the high water
mark with the understanding
at long last that I am
just as insane and damaged
and soulless and drunk
as people always told me I was.

That didn't bother me at all and I slept peacefully for six hours before getting ready to do it all over again.
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
If I could remember a third of what goes through my mind while inebriated or asleep or high or in the middle of ***, Jesus Christ, then I might get down to writing something serious.
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
And do I not sit awake these empty nights,
thinking long thoughts and desiring to weep,
my feet and my heart urging me to get up
and go, no matter the cost or the pain,
urging me, "Go hither and live."

And yes, I did love...do love,
many things and many people,
other seekers, other wanderers,
some children of the empty places
such as I, and others perhaps prophets
or saints who do not yet know their power.

Did I not wake from a dream with sand in my shoe,
wondering if sand I had tread upon or within,
knowing that deep inside it was true;
I had never worn those shoes upon the shore
of any beach, anywhere.

I do not want this, such a calling as it is,
feeling the wind upon my face
and hearing whispers in the dark,
a presence following me,
pressing me onward.

My chest hurting from too many cigarettes,
and my heart aching from too many losses,
and my legs aching from too long going
without sitting astride a horse.

How do I begin to explain all of this
to someone new, to a soul I have no
knowledge of save drunken small talk
and the small things that we remember
we do?

Does it all return to the sound of wind
and the shaking of a tent pole,
lovers embracing in the dark,
sweet and content in togetherness,
as I ponder what next I must do?
292 · Jun 2015
Knowing
Jon Shierling Jun 2015
If I had any lingering doubts about
my feelings for you, they died tonight.
291 · Oct 2014
No Longer Justifying
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
A beautiful day
That at least exists in and of itself
Has no history and no needs
Can be quietly experienced
Without any sort of insecurity

I will go and sit by the pond then
Lean against my friend the Cypress tree
And allow myself to simply be here
And though that does give me peace
It's a bittersweet, half felt brush
With something totally beyond my reach

Leaving my shackles on the grass behind me
I simply want to share some small happiness
No ambition for me and no desire for possession
Just a yearning for some sort of reconciliation

I will continue as best I may
Regardless of my solitude or companionship
And yes, sometimes I am sad within
But I will not apologize for that
Or the deep-seated belief that all happiness comes with a price

If what I have been taught
And am trying to unlearn
Results in a further sadness
Then I accept the cost
Of being a naked human being
290 · Jul 2017
Sand
Jon Shierling Jul 2017
In my youth, I ran to the desert.
She welcomed me as one of her own,
taught me many things,
loved me in her own unforgiving way.

The years I spent in her arms
saved me from many deaths.
I learned patience, and harshness
learned to welcome all things
as gifts from a God I couldn't see...
so I thought....

I lied to myself, and was alone
though God and the desert and
it's spirits walked alongside me
my heart never grew.

And now that I have come back,
I don't know how to hold
everything in my heart.

I learned to live on ideas;
real love was an abstract memory,
something that cost blood
and horror and betrayal.

I told myself what love was
out there in the sands,
when in truth.....
I could barely open my heart
to the beauty of a sunset.

Nothing has prepared me for this,
walking out of the wastes
to find my own people
waiting for me.

I have seen terrible things,
and so have they;
I don't know how to open
my heart to so many.

Jellaludin said to write what
we are most afraid of
so I shall write that.
I hope Shams approves.

I always say that one day
things will be different,
that we can change the world
as if it was the world that needed changing,

In truth, I am the one that needs to change,
I am the one who must take the leap,
I must step out over the abyss and
believe that it's about something more.

I am not afraid of the dark within myself,
my shadow I have come to terms with.
I am afraid of hurting those that have
tried to love me, whom I haven't allowed.

But that day I always yearned for,
the day when the world rolled back,
and the fountain gave of itself,
the day I decide to let my love **** me
that day is today.
289 · Jul 2017
The Histories V
Jon Shierling Jul 2017
I really hate the nothingness that we became. With confidence I can say that it was your doing and not mine, but that doesn't make it any less abhorrent. Your absence tastes like ash all the same. I'd like to think that your thoughts turn to me as often as mine turn to you, but more than likely you give hardly a brush of me. That's alright though, I'd be terrified if someone like me started digging around in my heart and asking questions, challenging every self deprecating statement I made too. The odd thing is, I know exactly how that feels. I lived it, ten years ago, and I ran the hell away, not knowing how to accept it.
283 · Dec 2014
Personal Admonishment
Jon Shierling Dec 2014
And where indeed have all those slim lines
of genuine verse gone?

What has become of the Garden wrought of dreams
and a love so keen that it could barely be spoken of?

Wherefore gone the desires for quiet words
and innocent love-making?

I will tell you that they have been drowned
by the cries for justice gone so long unheard.

They have been swallowed up by the indifference
of a nation so engrossed in consumption that the world outside
our borders and within only exists on television.

But the real fact of the matter is that I am ashamed,
I am ashamed of myself most of all,
for if I truly cared as much as I say I do,
I'd have stopped writing altogether by now,
and started doing more....

I'd be reaching out to whoever would listen
to whomever I could find
to those of us that don't want to wake up one day
and realize only too late
that we are all in fact slaves.
278 · Jan 2015
Dirge
Jon Shierling Jan 2015
He is used to waking most
mornings, and there is nothing.
No fluttering heart,
no breathing other than his own.
It is better in a way,
knowing what to expect,
come time to meet the day.

At some point in life,
he decided that it was
easier to stop longing
for things that once
made waking something
worth looking forward to.

Those tired hopes and
those memories aching
with romantic sentimentality
never did serve any real
purpose other than to
foster eventual solitude.

Writing is all that he
allows himself now,
the only recourse back
to that ancient past
full of magic and great
soul-shattering loves.

He both loves and
hates the nothing of
these mornings,
just as he loves
and hates this fire
that has almost gone out.
277 · Jan 2015
Walking
Jon Shierling Jan 2015
I've had a car for years
but have been riding around with
somebody else at the wheel.
Didn't have a car yesterday
and walked the 8 miles home
through midnight wind.
Halfway there I realized
that I was the one driving now.
277 · Oct 2014
Quote of the Day
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
"There is a profound difference between actual, physically manifested problems and problems arising from perception. The two are almost always experienced identically, and oftentimes serve to exacerbate each other."
277 · Oct 2014
Question for Enoch
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
Do you know where I live and eat and breath, what sustains me and kills me, how and why I am what I am and also seek to be?

Bah, who wants to read that, who wants to know that, unless of course it has resonance within us all.

And yet, one piece of experience, one pen pouring holy writ, the breath of a tiny slice of one person's understanding of existence, ah now that may indeed prove worth some pondering, some meditation.

Isn't music emotion as sound, isn't poetry passion on paper, isn't what we try and communicate to each other, by any medium we can muster, a thing worthy of praise and contemplation?

For are we not all continually Transfiguring, are we not all continually following, and growing and flowing and metamorphosing, as we proceed through our lives?
276 · Oct 2014
Hove-To, and Drifting
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
To say that I expected this,
somewhere deep within
is probably the only answer to be given.

A self-defeating habit,
born somewhere in the dimness
of memories left to rot.

But to have faith in something
created out of nothing
should never feel like a sin.
275 · Jun 2017
ابن آوى
Jon Shierling Jun 2017
As if the masks I wear for the world are anything
more than mere artifice.
Make no mistake I am no civilized intellectual,
I am no yuppie at a tech company living for machines.

My soul was old when Rome ruled the world
and beneath my person suit I am an utter
****** savage with the face of a starving jackal.

I am an uncivilized, spear-wielding force of
nature ruled by monstrous passions
born from years of torture and supplication.

Take my hand and follow me to the forest.
I'll teach you it's secrets and we'll dance
naked in the moonlight for a thousand years.
272 · Mar 2016
End
Jon Shierling Mar 2016
End
Thus do I gather these scattered memories
tenderly,
having been burned
having been broken
the time comes to carry them into the coming days
quietly.
271 · Jul 2013
Questions
Jon Shierling Jul 2013
If you ask me what Love is
I could answer with a thousand beautiful words
and still flounder upon them.

If you ask me what Love is
I could answer with a kiss
so tender that even the stars would sigh.

If you ask me what Love is
I could build for you a garden filled with light
and laughter, but still shadows would remain.

If you ask me what Love is
I could raise up a great nation
and make you it's queen.

I know deep in my heart that
when you ask me what Love is
I will not answer.
For if you do not already know
no answer on earth will be enough to prove
what it is I've been doing all along.
271 · Jul 2017
Ashenden
Jon Shierling Jul 2017
Simon opens the door. Door to the same apartment in Lisbon. But it's somehow different when he walks through the threshold. Full of people, as it used to be on weekend nights. But these are strangers, men and women he no longer recognizes, or feels any kinship with. The bottles of wine and beer and liquor are as it used to be, along with the **** on the kitchen table and the hookah by the couch. But pistols and syringes lay open upon flat surfaces now alongside the old instruments of fun. Like a dream, people whose names he didn't know greet him like a hero as he creeps through his own kitchen. Someone hands him a joint, which he hits, tastes **** and something else which make things even more surreal, passes it back to the mass, and fights his way to a chair where the tv used to be. "Simon, Simon! Just the guy to end this stalemate! Tell us, how do you feel about this ******* they're feeding us now eh!?! More austerity measures! Let those pigs **** some more and leave less for us eh?" A magazine is casually tossed in his general direction. Simon catches it by the spine, and glances at it, trying too hard to remember the name that belongs to the face on the cover. In an attempt to not be argumentative, he vaguely agrees, "Of course there are changes to be made, we all recognize that, but it's a delicate thing. The EU charter has provisions for this, but it's not being followed here. Or anywhere else though, so we can't get ahead of ourselves. Pardon me senor, can I hit that right quick?" The hookah hose is handed, a bottle is passed, and Simon gets up out of the chair. Tara is nowhere in sight, possibly *******, possibly preaching, possibly shooting up, maybe all three. Clara is in the bathroom throwing up most likely, and I don't know why I'm here, he thinks it might be something to do with a feeble hope that what he'd been told was just exaggerated rumor. He wanders the apartment that was once so full of....something else,something he couldn't name, looking for the good that he used to feel in it. People talk at him and he responds, but he doesn't really pay much attention to their comments or his responses. He finds himself on the balcony, blessedly empty, lights a cigarette and let's his memory drift. Remembers the guitar, and the wine, and the feel of her hand when she took it from him to play. He hums the tune to himself, half as a mercy and half as a torture. He remembers the shape of her shoulder and the green of her sweater, and the sunset reflected in her eyes when she slapped him, the fire in her that he has loved since that day. The fire he has been watching die for months. "You can never love someone enough to make them love themselves, usually they end up resenting you for it anyway," says a voice from behind him. Simon, in the place his mind is now isn't even surprised, simply turns to the source of the voice, a man sitting in the far back left corner. "They may end up hating you for it even. People cling to their self-conceptions harder than anything, more so than politics or religion or love. Especially if it's good clean love. Damaging, nasty love is the kind people like her need, and will never be turned away from." It's hard to make out features in the glow cast by candles and distant city lights, but Simon can see the speaker's face is aquiline, high cheekbones and a very straight nose. Brownish short hair, light and thin body, built like a runner or a Bedouin. Simon almost asks who he his, almost responds with the usual surface garbage he's been saying to people all night. Instead, he asks the almost shadow what the **** he's talking about and, more importantly who the **** he thinks he is to presume to know that kind of crap about someone you've never met. "You know exactly what, and who I'm talking about Simon. As for presuming to know things about people I've never met, I have met Tara, and Clara, and a hundred other girls like them. And I know how those stories end." "And how do you know my name, who the hell are you and what the hell do want?" Simon responded. The almost shadow's cigarette flares as he inhales and for a second Simon can see the grey eyes of a Gael, is reminded of mists and mountains, ancient memory, understands that he's being hunted. "Lots of people know your name here. I've seen that look on your face many times, worn it myself many times, and I don't want anything from you. But you certainly want something from me, even though you don'y know it yet. It's good to finally meet you Simon. You can call me Ashenden." The voice leans forward into the light and extends his hand. As Simon takes it, he looks into the face of a predator.
269 · Apr 2014
One Day
Jon Shierling Apr 2014
One day, those who have been dismissed to the shadows will see the sun again in all it's glory.

One day, those whose origins have followed them like demons in the night, will arise and face the past as conquerors.

One day, these oceans of ignorance and fear will recede, and humanity will bridge the gap between haves and have-nots.

One day, I will not need a substance to open my mouth and speak about what I truly love.

One day, the world WILL change, and those who have been crushed beneath the weight of a thousand wailing voices will awaken.

One day, you and I will stand on the brink of a world without the need to succeed at the expense of someone else's livelihood.

One day, we all may be able to look on a new dawn and finally breath in the scent of an unbroken soul.

One day, there will be no need for Saints of Lost Causes, or children picking garbage all over the world.

One day, I will say that I love you, and in so doing, finally achieve my freedom.
267 · Jan 2015
Canto X
Jon Shierling Jan 2015
I have now gone from this place,
this running river
this journey seeking a farce.

I shall walk no more
those tired paths
leading nowhere.

The desert has been my
companion for so long
and I do not know how to
leave her embrace.

Nor do I know
how to put your
bare shoulder behind
who I once was.

You have left signs
and messages written
in the sands, upon rocks
at the shores of those oasis
we once made love near.

Yet I cannot read them,
I cannot understand these
portents drawing me
further toward a love
that I know I am unworthy of.

Perhaps I may get up and go
body as well as spirit,
I may answer this call
felt since I was fifteen.

I shall get up and go
I shall go to where you live
that place you call home.
Jon Shierling Nov 2014
That was a thought I entertained for a whole two seconds before unceremoniously throwing it into a dumpster.
260 · Aug 2014
Canto IV
Jon Shierling Aug 2014
What shall we be to each other
and ourselves
in the years to follow?

A foolish question
without an answer
but something worth pondering.

I don't know
how to tell you this
but I will do my utmost
through the medium I know best.

I can see myself walking
footfall heavy and somber,
but no empty vista residing
within my heart any longer.

I dearly hope to travel
further with you
to seek and to find
all that we yearn for.

However it may end though,
I am content within
knowing that we will
be the better for it.
260 · Mar 2014
Acceptance Is Optional
Jon Shierling Mar 2014
For once, tonight I don't want to drink, I don't want to be hazy, I don't want to smoke a joint, or do a few lines.

I am content being sober I guess, because I feel as if I have important things to do, as if I've rediscovered some sense of purpose that has been lacking for eight years or so.

It's so strange to me, this sense of fullness, even though I am so weary, so jaded.

Winter is passing here, and as with every change of seasons, I look behind me for the reminders of where I've come from, and for courage to continue on to wherever it is that I'm going.

Getting kinda tired of running, kinda tired of remembering that Jess told me I reminded her of Tom Waits once.

It's lonely working nights here by myself, but I don't mind it much; gives me plenty of time to think, to sort things out without a bottle.

So strange, how the past can permeate us without our knowing it, bursting out of hibernation just when we thought we had gone far enough.

I guess I do still have a streak of the Romantic in me, no matter how things pan out during the course of days, and weeks, and months, and years, somehow...I'm still me.

Somewhere still lives in me the boy so full of passion and principles, he who loved without speaking, cried without accepting, and receded into the man I am now.
Jon Shierling Mar 2014
When you meet my eyes for the first time,
trying to reach you across the twelve stools between us,
I won't be expecting it at all.
I may even look away after trying so hard to make contact,
depending on how steadily and heavily I've been poisoning myself tonight.
I love playing the eye game, especially with you,
but I'm kinda rusty these days,
so you might have to be slightly aggressive in the beginning
if you want.
Eventually the curiosity of what I'm thinking will crop up,
maybe right at the beginning,
maybe when I work up the audacity to come talk to you,
maybe when you tell me to shut up and kiss you already.
Or it might be one of those rare occasions with just the right mix of ***** and testosterone when I don't second guess myself.
Regardless, eventually you'll want to know what's going on up here.
It's pretty simple really, no big mystery, even if
I don't talk about myself much in person.
To be sure, I want to know what you taste like,
how you look without make up,
under a shower,
in a bed.
I want to know what it will be like to strip clothes from your body,
as an artist must feel uncovering a work of hidden beauty,
as a madman must when he regains himself,
as Rumi must have in his garden.
Images diverge from there, with equal portions half and half,
your hand around my waist as I lift your skirt in the bathroom,
and reading by lamplight to you a chapter from Divisadero.
You're looking at me with that same appraising gaze I know so well,
and you can be **** sure I'm wondering whether you'd like me to pull your hair, the same as you wondering if I like to be bitten.
You see, there is no longer any separation for me,
between closeness, passion, or ecstasy.
When we progress to the point,
when I finally get your hint,
that I don't have to try so hard,
I've already decided whether I'll take the plunge to your soul or not.
A five minute write. Just a bit of recycling going out to the curb I guess.
257 · Mar 2022
Meurte de la Amour Roja
Jon Shierling Mar 2022
Enough then
I don’t need your permission
    Or a final whisper from lips that raised all my dead

The cathedral in my heart that I lifted up for you
   And filled with all my lonely ghosts
     It burns tonight

And tomorrow
  The Beginning
    The Work
      The Empire
254 · Mar 2014
Visions
Jon Shierling Mar 2014
I was a soldier once,
and because of the time spent in that world
I thought I knew what suffering looked like.

I thought that because I have smelled death,
  and thrown away the bodies of innocents
like so many empty fruit rinds
  that I was enured to that hole in the earth.

How wrong I was to believe that such things were
the heart of that river

  the darkest I would stare upon,
249 · Jun 2017
Awake
Jon Shierling Jun 2017
I woke up one day and found myself in a room
with walls covered in pieces of the soul of
the girl sleeping in my arms.

It was beautiful and terrible to behold,
just as is she, just as was the knowing
at that moment that I'm a Writer
that loves an Artist....
I'm a character in my own book
and I'm ******.
249 · Apr 2018
Brush Strokes
Jon Shierling Apr 2018
Shutter filtered moonlight bright and clear as a flashing sword
    my surest guide over the landscape of your body.

I cannot say whether it is my hand that pivots brush and ink,
    or they that carry me along across your back.

This then is what the sages meant by formlessness:
    I am the Brush and Ink and Moonlight.
247 · Jul 2014
A Thought
Jon Shierling Jul 2014
Perhaps the people who are no good at accepting things, or accepting the faults (real and imagined) of others, are that way because they're no good at accepting their own.
247 · Jan 2015
Fragment Number Whatever
Jon Shierling Jan 2015
Never again will I make the mistake of thinking that someone in love with what I write is the same thing as being in love with....the rest of me.
Jon Shierling May 2014
I don't know how to write about you anymore. The words that used to flow seemed so right, so beautiful.
But now there remains only a vague hope, a fleeting scent of oranges and the sea.
You are the place my Heart goes when I am broken open.
You are the Home I long for in the early morning quiet.
You are all good things to me, a symbol now of what once was fair.
No matter how I try, you always evade my Love, and my Longing.
You whisper to me in the night breeze, yet no longer reveal yourself to my tired soul. I can no longer touch you, or see you;
I can only feel you somewhere in the deserts and mountains within.
All the time I am searching, searching for you, though I do not know how I may find you.
There is no chart of your endless seas, nor is there a path to your home in the old Blue Mountains.
Here in this Garden I write for you, and my Heart........
My Heart cries for you.
Perhaps one day, you will hear it.
A recycled piece from long ago, edited to be inclusive within the framework of the short stories I've been sewing together. Keep in mind that I wrote this originally for a real person before I edited it.
247 · Sep 2014
These Hands
Jon Shierling Sep 2014
Into these hands
has been placed a heart
bruised but not broken
weary but not forsaken.

Into these scarred hands
has been placed a love
unlooked for
and beautiful.

Into these hands
a light has been delivered
potent but untested
grieved but unbowed.

Into these weathered hands
a future has been delivered
unborn
and fragile.

And with these hands
I will sooth that heart.

And with these hands
we shall embody that love.

And with these hands
you shall carry that light into the night.

And with these hands
we shall create that future
waiting to be born.

A Future of Love
of the Heart
of the Light.
If only I could read this with my hands over your heart.
246 · Dec 2014
Running Silent
Jon Shierling Dec 2014
Here I find myself again, low lamplight reflecting a shadow. Waiting.....waiting is all I do now. I wake up in the morning and there's nothing. Nothing but repetition, the demeaning struggle stuck on rerun. I was waiting for work to end, now I'm waiting for the gin to kick in, and soon I'll be waiting to fall asleep so that I can do it all over.

What am I doing here in this room, on this beach in a paradise, hiding out from something that I don't want to be, pretending to be someone I'm not, putting on a smile during the day and acting like everything's gonna be okay?

Justifying so much to myself because I don't want this compulsion, this need to take all of the bad things I've ever seen and use them as fuel to burn this whole world down.

What I've really been hiding from is a part of me that was born in the dark, while wandering down nearly deserted roads in the middle of the night, passing figures huddled in alleys and dying for a fix, meeting strangers on streets I've never been able to find again and wondering what it is that we're searching for.

This part of me that can hide behind eloquent revolutionary rhetoric and believes itself capable of sparking a conflagration of the poor empty masses, truly is only lost, still lost and wandering those nearly empty roads.
242 · Oct 2014
Sunrise on the Atlantic
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
Once when I was younger, I caught a glimpse of what a Final Victory might be like. I had stayed up all night, wandering the empty streets and alleys of St. Augustine with two friends whose names are long forgotten. We strayed to the marina after pondering the absurdity of human existence and there, beheld a true Wonder. Just the barest taste of things to come, but an overwhelming awe. This Great Heart made of fire, bursting forth from the dark waters, an ocean of consuming majesty, such as I had never conceived. Can you imagine we, these infintesimal specks of life, being a part of this miracle, this new Day?
239 · Jun 2017
Scars
Jon Shierling Jun 2017
I love your scars
all of them.
The obvious ones
the ones other people see
the year old wound across your middle
you showed off to me the night we met.
When I ran my hands over you
I could see the hidden ones
the deep cuts in your heart unhealed.
I tasted the passion and the copper in your kiss.
I knew even then that I'd never
get you out of my soul.
238 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Jon Shierling Feb 2016
I no longer imagine you next to me
when I lay down to sleep.
235 · Mar 2018
Whisper
Jon Shierling Mar 2018
Your voice on the wind
A sigh in the night

Trailing fingers across my neck
The kiss of flowers

Folding into each other
The embrace of rainfall

I turn to your presence
The sound of water
230 · Feb 2016
Untitled
Jon Shierling Feb 2016
A low roar in my ears, when I accept that I'm not the one to take away the marks left by a bad man.
Jon Shierling May 2014
I. The Feeling of Floating:
  I've always loved the water. The ease of movement, the grace I've never possessed on land. As if I shed my awkwardness in the embrace of water. Floating at peace, almost weightless, timeless, I can feel a taste of what the monks must feel as they sing their hymns. A oneness with the senses, this knowledge that I am being conveyed by the current, effortlessly, if only I allow it to move me.

II. Describe the Color Red:
   Red is the Heart's colour, and the Heart is an ***** of fire. The passion of the day burning away the night, the fears and desperation of the dark. My garden is Red, my sheets are Red, my words written in the blood of wounded hands. Burning, burning all around me, the beat of a different drum. Red is my Heart, and it beats for you.

III. Sunrise on the Atlantic:
   Once when I was younger, I caught a glimpse of what a Final Victory might be like. I had stayed up all night, wandering the empty streets and alleys of St. Augustine with two friends whose names are long forgotten. We strayed to the marina after pondering the absurdity of human existence and there, beheld a true Wonder. Just the barest taste of things to come, but an overwhelming awe. This Great Heart made of fire, bursting forth from the dark waters, an ocean of consuming majesty, such as I had never conceived. Can you imagine we, these infintesimal specks of life, being a part of this miracle, this new Day?
This particular exercise is my favorite. It can be done alone, or pairs(which is preferable to me) or in a group. More than 4 gets kinda redundant though. Basically each person writes a series of single line prompts on subjects/words/scenes/concepts that they would like to write about or read about. Then each entry is torn off and all of them are mixed in a pile or in a hat, after which each participant draws a paper from the pile and writes on that subject. The papers are usually drawn together and the answers (well, responses really) are written in any mode that the writer prefers. We usually try to keep the length to about a paragraph or two, but only because some write faster than others and we try not to let them feel out of league or anything ****** like that. This is a variation of Tristan Tzara's hat, taught to me by one of the most influential people in my life. Every time I do this exercise/game, I send a happy thought her way.
Jon Shierling Aug 2014
I don't know how to tell you what's in my heart.

I don't know how to explain,
that I put my faith in you.

I don't know how to say,
that I don't want to be a hero
or a villain.

I don't have the right words,
for this feeling that I haven't felt
till I met you.

I don't understand what's happening,
this twirling around
and revisioning.

I don't have much to offer,
except my messed up heart
and the history that comes with it.

I do have a hope though,
a hope and a belief
in you.
224 · Oct 2014
willing (20w)
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
I am consciously willing into existence the day,
when it won't be so hard for us to love each other.
224 · Jul 2014
Tetrathanata
Jon Shierling Jul 2014
I am cold and aloof
crawling through empty castles
with my solid eyes and ethereal body

A body you still hunger for

Or is it my soul you send your tendrils after
crooning songs of happiness and children
probing crevices made known to you in my weakness

Ah, and when that fails to move
my heart encased in the shards of empty loves
you send a hand searching for mine

I am not those witless dogs you take to bed
to prove your own power over the gender
that you blame for what you are

And whine all you want about how we're perfect
that we deserve each other
that I can use you as I like

I shall not be moved

You're happy to **** my ****
but you daren't listen to what I speak
Use me as you have been used
and deny it even to yourself

Don't forget that I was birthed in this
a child of the lies we tell ourselves
Son of passions whose sources
shuffle like unwanted abortions into the corner

You will never again win my hopes
while wishing for me to help you ****** your brother
You will never turn again your own hate
into your conception of what my love is
222 · Oct 2014
One Thing
Jon Shierling Oct 2014
I was told about Hemingway and writing one true thing. Here's today's.

Change is inevitable. Forgive me for not doing it fast enough.
"Trusting and depending on others becomes associated with being used and betrayed. As an adult, they expect betrayal." -Laurence Heller
219 · Sep 2018
Ten of Cups
Jon Shierling Sep 2018
Behold, my cup runneth over,
and I rejoice.

I was alone in the desert,
and now I have been brought home.

Those beautiful things I had thought
lost forever have been returned.

My shame hath been shown to be illusion, and my failures forgiven.

Faith I had not in the workings of
the One beyond my ken.

And yet faith I have been given,
and love, and hope, and a new life.

I rejoice in you Oh Lord, I give thanks
to you for the small things, the little proofs that you have not abandoned us.

I give thanks that You in your wisdom
have brought me to this place; that You have not despaired of me, though I have despaired much of myself and of You the Eternal.

Behold the garden I have always sought, and yet hath ever been my home; that which always liveth within me, yet I journeyed to find.
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