Iym onna mishon forra gerl
krossing China jus to si her
ona slo chrayn going west
krossing mouwntins in my kot.

Shis onna mishon for tha boi
fly eirchina for to si mi
bundling legings inna bag
wot to bring and wot to not

bring your person bring your boots
spanix boots and spanix wyn
put your bodi in this plays
taiwan boox and qinese wyn

i wil sit heer lyk an ox
wayting unda shaydi tri
wayting hyuman wil tu find me
pat my **** and skweez my ni

qyneez wyn
qyneez wyn
wyn in qyneez
qyneez wyn

pump my rat and wyn qyneez
shaydi tri with pengyou lao
thingking hyuman tu gud tu mi
wy *** look for stinki kao

Sometimes i'm henry and sometimes i'm jim,
and sometimes i'm insane and sometimes i'm in-
and some people think so of that what ive got;
that sometimes i'm crazy and sometimes i plot to be not

I'm as loud as I am blue
I'm as far as I am short
I am children in the window
Not as blameless as I thought

The newspaper tells me one thing
Then a mouth will tell me another
A simple idea occurs to me
Put one inside of the other

--------------
Just bought a new back wheel
For my tall and sturdy bike
And riding back from a party
I got hit by a big white truck

I was cycling by the curb
A truck came zooming up
I had the space of a meter or more
But quickly the space diminished

Suddenly I felt it
A crunching of the wheel
I shouted in anglo-saxon
Wehey! As I leapt from the speeding frame

I fell into a running roll
And stood straight up and turned around
My bike was laying flat
The back wheel sadly spinning.

I wrung my hands and giggled
And looked about in awe.
The people that saw this happen
Came up and shook their heads

Are you alright? I cant believe what happened.
I didn’t catch his number plate
What a ******* crazy driver
Are you sure you are alright?

A gay irish man was there
You uttured a cry he said
And then flew from your bike
Like a… like a… a ballerina

I forced the wheel back into place
So it was was sort of fit to roll
The chain and gears were gnarled
So I couldn’t exactly ride

On the way two foreign drunks
Looked and spoke about my bike
Autobus smash, I said
Ohhhhhh they said

Finally arriving near finsbury
A man who was cycling past
Said do you need some help?
I said yes please I got run over by a truck

What I can do, said thomas from hungary
Or what we can do
Is take a length of chain out
So at least you can get home

Ok yes please I said
And he bent down and used his little tools
And got his hands all oily black
And made me a fixed gear bike

Now your bike is a fixie bike
So im afraid you cant change the gears
Like my fixie bike, he said
Thanks hungarian dude