Ride this wave until it crashes
Ride until it burns to ashes
Practice picking up the pieces
Taxing though it always pleases
Visualizing the distant end
Eager to break things apart again

How do I balance all of this ****
Relationships that I don’t feel I merit
Alone times in rooms with no good purpose
****** up and ending in unspoken curses
How can I see what’s the right thing to do
When I am still tortured by thoughts of you
Your touch and your pleasure
All put together
Simply warm the deep part of my heart
Almost but not quite stop them tearing apart
Almost together, but I'm still not right

Pitiful person sitting here nursing
Wounds and infractions you stand collecting
Looking for something you know is a myth
Desiring to receive that so greatest gift
Love not long lost
What a long list and journey for you to find
A painstaking undertaking all to say ‘mine’
A ridiculous effort in too much time
Never understanding life’s greatest crime
Love is long lost
Collateral damage gone missing in the holocaust
In this world with pain deeply embossed
Sitting there gradually losing its shine
Just out of reach of our closed up minds

Occasionally the warmth of the fire
Turns into a searing pyre
And what I thought would warm my hands
Changes tones and forever brands
The fragile tissue of my heart
Torn apart by such a crafty liar

There’s too much emotion
Hidden behind locked doors
I can’t stop this commotion
Calling out from under the floor
These voices drive me out
Send me over the edge
Leaving me to dogged doubt
And forcing me up to the ledge
I find it hard to stay
Plagued with such an ardor
I can’t see the light of day
Each passing step just makes it harder

What went wrong along the way?
What did we do what did I say?
What made us both go insane?
What got lost inside our claims?
What idea disappeared?
What sneaking feeling did we fear?
What angel brought us so near?
What demon left things so unclear ?

My nightmares fill the air
The demons running free
Fingers tugging at my hair
Ruining what I might be
Terrified and yet amazed
Frozen solid in this place
Standing still inside a cage
Yet by nightmares being chased