I never understood the sound of a heartbeat
the relentless BA-***, BA-***, BA-***
so draining and grating it makes me numb
BA-***, BA-***, BA-***
until we finally succumb

I never understood how people die of a broken heart
the break is not physical
it is not actual
it is not real
it is just how you feel
right?

I never understood why love was a two-way street
shouldn't it be a fork in the road converging
becoming one-way once we finally meet?
but that was because I only saw my side  
I had know idea how our paths were going to collide

And I still never understood the sound of a heartbeat
of all the beats why two?
I never understood it
that is... until I met you

Because you were the second beat
that puzzled me for so long
You were the second beat
that kept me going strong
you were that up beat
to my favorite song
and you are the second beat
that made my heart belong

and now as a widower
I never heard that second beat
a murmur it had become,
until I saw her again
on the day of my death
went the Vitals screen went
BA....BA.... BA.... buuuuummm

Never express,
Only repress
Then repress
then press again
feelings aren’t not your refuge
But your refuse
Bury your feelings
But the heart only goes so deep
So break it
Let the trash seep
but when you’re at that breaking point
Don’t try to mend
Just spend  
On some form of escape
Find you pusher
And your favorite femoral eye drapes
Never fix
just get your fix
got it?
Good
Need another?
I knew you would

I think I found the one
but which one did I find?
so far this fairytale's plot
is at once upon a time
feels like I'm back at 4 years old
with my sleep on hold
waiting with bated breathe
to see how this story unfolds
this is one of those road trips
where the phrase "Are we there yet?"
will never come from my lips
because this trip is about the journey
and I am in no hurry
As a child I used to go and catch butterflies
but now I catch them
every time I look into her eyes
I not trying to be Kraft Mac-n-Cheezy
But I'm falling for her deeply
all I know is
ONCE I feel her embrace, mind body and soul, and  
UPON seeing her smile and hearing her laughter  
A blanket of her warmth tucks me in, filling my holes making it    
TIME to say happily ever after

A picture is worth 1000 words
and if a picture is a still of motion
wouldn't it be absurd
to try and describe an event or emotion
through the spoken word?

the spoken word is not in compliance
with emotion and feeling
I see her as golden as the silence
two beings only being
  
All I want is to hold her in my arms
and have a conversation through our embrace
I want to get to know her
through the landscape of her face
I want to feel all her cuts and scars
and let her feel mine
and see if the torn pieces of our hearts
could ever intertwine
all of this, without a word
ever being transferred

today's cliche
was the marvel of yesterday

this message is brought
by those who fought
for lover's lane is now a vacant lot

I heard that at it's birth
lover's lane encompassed the earth
like a grand equator
the ultimate curator
of all things love
but then a dark mass came from above
it was a ball of cynism
and under the haze of malaise
created a schism

then like ripples in a pond
the schism ripped at the bond
that held lover's lane together
maybe it was cynism that allowed the darkness to see
that lover's lane was only real,
because of ideals held within you and me

the darkness knew it's route
was to first take root in the minds of the people
then gives it's followers the suit
and make the corporation it's steeple

the suits were faithful to their creed
called the gospel of greed
yet there was still a need
that they had to feed
happiness
that money could not buy
and believe me they would try
and try, and try
and try

deep down their apathy
was agony
happiness the supreme ideal
but all they wanted was to feel
anything
they went to their vices
such as cellular devices
that created a virtual reality
that could make them virtually happy
for once they could virtually say
they were virtually ok
virtually
not in reality
the reality was they were desperately trying to forget
they were sardines trapped in the net

the net was growing too
misery likes company
but really loves a corporation
but what were we to do?
it had spread across the nations
lover's lane was shrinking
all we were thinking
was could love ever thrive agian?
could it even survive? when...
the darkness was so thorough
containing lover's lane to merely a borough

we tried to make them see
all that love can be
we tried with all forms of art
wrote, and spoke from the heart
but the suits were indifferent
they just didn't care
I realized then and there
that I'd be just one of the few numerals
at loves eminent funeral
wearing a suit
and after a tear, I'd start my commute
to be the corporation's next recruit

you say love is your religion
but that is a lie
because love is a decision
and what did you decide?
to make your bed a church
and instead of love,
you went out in search
of a body to rub against
to try to force a spark
that deep down you sensed
wasn't there
making love, does not make love magically appear
love is not a physical act
but how you act
when lust is exalted
true love is halted
then your temple will fall
and if from the ruins you build a wall
around your heart,
it is then that your religion will truly fall apart

it was the day of the fall equinox
and I fell for the idea that all would be equal
but that idea opened pandora's box
to yet another sequel

Of horrors pouring, jaws ajar;
Claws and eyes both pointed
And lashing out both near and far
Leaving all my world disjointed.

How did I become a bystander to what I started
I swear I'm a good person and kind hearted
I just wanted to get laid, but you know what they say
about the best laid plans of mice and men
they go and arise to the horror that was today
Now I long for the blissful ignorance I had back then

You see, not all is as it seems with me,
I have my fair share of cryptics
But this was unknown to even yours truly
I had not expected the apocalyptic.
My eyes and soul and heart was blank,
I had not an idea for solutions
All was lost, my confidence shrank,
I felt *****, in need of ablutions.

It started out as and innocent fling
but after her ***** willow went up my tree
she expected a ring
I fled from her bed in hurry
but I had no idea the calamity it would bring.

I really had opened Pandora's box,
In more ways than just one.
Now she claims to love me, 'lots and lots'.
Oh Hell, what had I done?
I ran and hid, far from her home
Yet she searched for me endlessly
Spitting fire from her mouth of rabid foam
Ripping apart both Land and Sea.

She scorched the earth in my name
all eyes and claws pointed blame
the people didn't deserve such a fate
but I knew she was using them as bait
How did she transform from a magnificent maiden
to a brew of Maleficent and the spawn of satan
nevertheless
she could not find my place of rest

Which was right inside myself, you see:
I hid in between my lungs.
So off in disguise,
Right under her eyes
To the sea, I ran and I plunged.
Once out in the Sevens
I reached out to the Heavens
(The ones I'd not believed before)
And I cried,' Someone please save me
From this bat-**** old lady;
Give me help!' I strongly implored.
All of a sudden, the waters did blacken
I had no time to swim, for out burst a Kraken!
'The eyes look familiar', I thought in my head,
Then I realised: The beast is the woman I'd bed.

This Kraken was looking to crack in my skull
there had to be some way to get her roar to dull
but I was a sitting duck, so I tossed in my white flag
and tossed in some loving words almost causing me to gag
she tied me up until we tied the knot
and used my white flag as her vail
I spent my time trying to plot
how to make this wedlock fail
when the reverend said you may kiss the bride
I revealed the concealed weapon I had by my side

Just a wedding ring, was my weapon,
Rounded, gold with diamonds; seven
It was made for her and she loved it dear
Unbeknownst that she should be filled with fear...
We'd now been married for quite some time,
I'd let her love me before my crime,
For the best way to **** a woman - to start,
Is let her fall for you then break her heart.
I found the perfect way to make her life end
So while she was out, I had *** with her friends.

But I said nothing, I let rumors fly
the truth hurts, but what kills is no reply
I let her head spin
and let her unravel
what once was an overbearing boulder
had turned itself into gravel.
the time was now prime
to commit my final crime...

You're hopes and fears are multiplyin'
clinging to them like a dandelion
clasping the seeds of hope
because now that is all you got
tying them up with your fearful rope
the earth dumped you in a dump and left you distraught
no longer absorbing nutrients, you get absorbed in your mind
daydreaming about happier thoughts that only leave you blind
because if you could see outside yourself it'd be revealed
that all is what you make it including your field
and that the dump is entirely your own  
but maybe if you let those seeds of hope fly
and let them be sown
you might get in a reply
is a field that is over grown
with fulfilled hopes, ever satifyin'  
and that dump is now a white canvas
of thousands of heads of the dandelion

These lonely lips, just want to sing your priase
this lonely heart, wants to love you for the rest of your days  
these lonely eyes just long to see you smile
and this lonely guy, don't mind waiting a while

love was in bloom then winter came
I loved you and I could sense you felt the same
but you kept it inside, why'd you run and hide?
behind walls that you hate
is that the only place you feel safe?
could you feel safe with me? cause I'd sure like to be
the one to help you uncover, how great of a lover
that you could be, if you'd only set yourself free

These lonely arms just want to hold you tight
this lonely mind, thinks about you every night  
these lonely eyes just long to see you smile
and this lonely guy, don't mind waiting a while

I cried upon my hawaiian departure
not tears of sorrow but tears of former and future joy
my tears trailed down my cheek like the Paheehee stream
before landing upon the ground like a soft hawaiian rain in spring
when my tears evaporated they formed a long flat cloud
in the shape of surfboard voyaging westward bound.
the cloud upon reaching the sea,
shape-shifted into a large volcano, vengful and menacing  
with the torential downpour a sign of the volcanoe's erupting    
The storm began to thicken The volcano spinning around it's core
like that of a fire dancers stick, scattering the tears evermore  
when the storm cleared eight tears washed upon each hawaiian shore
wiating for me to surf upon my tears

my heart beats faster than a hummingbirds wings
whenever I see you
and I swear it skips a couple beats
to spell your name in morse code too
when I see your face, and feel warm embrace
I just can't stop from grinning
Because this all feels so right
as it has right from the beginning
but you still give me those buterflies
and every time a little part of me dies
to make way for all the love I've found
having you in my life
you are the one
that makes loving fun
and I just want to shout it
you plus me
equals my everything
and there ain't no doubt about it

Everyone's a poet to some degree
you don't have to rhyme
you just have to use your words purposefully
there are the self-procliamed poets
and then those who fail to see
that the words that they use  
and the cadence they choose
are all a form of poetry

is it just me?
or do you find beauty
in a bountiful mind
rather than a bountiful *****  
is it just me?
or do you find it hot
when women know not
how beautiful they are
Is it just me?
or do you prefer a woman in flats
over a woman in stilettos,
grounded and down to earth
instead of putting on airs for who knows
Is it just me?
or do you find that make up
can break up
the essence of beauty
Is it just me?
or do you notice that
most woman have blanketed their radiant presence
because they seemed to have lost that very essence
of what makes natural beauty
which is embracing your imperfections
I strive, and look for that in all directions    
Now Is that just me?
or do you do the same too?

a green sprout comes out of the ground
joyful and full of hope, a new world to be found
as the sprout begins to live and learn
it grows into a plant strong and firm
every time the plant is emotionally scarred
a new thorn appears
its harder for the plant to let down its guard
as the thorns accumulate through the years
but with the tears come rain
and from the rain grows a flower
just as it takes true pain
to know love's true power...
love is a plant, you are the gardener and your only duty
is nurture the plant so it will emanate its eternal beauty

A million poets have tried to express
my feelings for you with no success
I'm afraid the count is now a million and one
since I am seeking the words and I've found none
I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling for you
pinch me, am I dreaming, can this be true
inside me has awaken a ocean,
an ocean heart-felt of emotion
I have caught glimpses in times before
but now I stand on it's mighty shore
looking out at the sea of what is, and the horizon of what could be
and this overwhelming feeling encompasses me
It's love, it's love, It's love I say!
Oh love, Oh love, Oh what a day!

you say I'm mister right
but I'm mister one night
then I really got to go
you say I'm a lover
but baby I'm a fighter
and I don't want my wounds to show
well I can't be who you want me to be
and it's driving me out of control
but I can't can't break free
beacause I'm a slave to thee
so I'm traveling the underground railroad

well I'm not your little puppet
and your not my puppeteer
I'm not some realization of your imagination
this has got to end right here...

you say I'm prince charming
and my looks are disarming
and you wouldn't change a thing
you said you'd love me
unconditionally
but there's conditions on everything
well I can't stand your double standards
your passive aggression,
how you sweetly slander
my good name... drives me insane
you had my heart but it was all in vain

well I'm not your little puppet
and your not my puppeteer
I'm not some realization of your imagination
this has got to end right here...

Breath in, breath out
don't forget what life is all about
in the end the projects and the papers
will turn to dust vapors
the rumors of the past
will never last
the people who are mean
will go on to have life's of no meaning
sometimes life wears us down
so that our true selves can be found

My mind and my heart
seem worlds apart
the two are really conflicted
cause things didn't turn out as I predicted
my heart sees the potential gain
but my mind can't stand the initial pain
my heart could wait for her forever
and my mind could wait a week
my mind wants the quickest way to happiness
while my heart is longing for the girl I seek
so which one do I follow?
which one do I trust?
do I listen to logic and reason
or follow love and lust
I can't decide
my thoughts change like the tide
all my heart wants
is to be by her side
while my mind wants to hide
until these feelings subside
the two are on a crash course
and they are going to collide
so do I do what is safe?
or do I follow my heart?
I can't make up my mind
and that's the worst part

.     .     .     .   knew highs                                                      
                            /\                                                          
.______________/   \      /\    ____ _ _ _ _   
see this line ^             \   /    \/    now back to snoring               
flat, dull, boring           \/              flatline = status quo              
                              knew lows       flatline = comfort zone        
    
     this high
         /\
       /    \         /\
.___/        \     /    \ _________________ _ _ _ _      
                \/            and the hospitals all know
            this low            that flatline = death
     .     .      .     .     .     death by Cenophobia

The content is in the title

is we...
worth my identity

gave you my heart
on my finest silver platter
you played with it
then you watched it splatter
you'll never know
just how much it pained me so
you think you do
but you have no clue
well you live and you learn
you get what you earned
close that chapter another page turned
live and you learn
now my love's in an urn
cause when I thought I had love I just got burned
love and hate
now just seem like one in the same
my deliverance
is indifference
what can I do?
you took my pride and my sanity too
I learned you live
so you can
live and learn
and learn to give
the answers that you find
to the lost and the blind
as you were to led now you must lead
give the people what they need
because we need love

I believe it is time
to end the the confines
of the rhyme
free the word
free the verse
free the stanza
free the poem
free the poet
free my mind
free my soul
freedom baby Freedom!
Now where to go?

go ego go
you are not a part of me
prepare to face my humility
the immune system that is my conscious mind
is going come at you like a spider monkey all hyped up on mountain dew
no longer will I be the willing host
to a virus such as you!
your earth is about to crumble
because I am choosing humble
I choosing to let go of the self
so that others may shine
share all the glory
I used to claim as mine
so go ego go
and I hope know
you will not be missed
because a life without you
is a life beyond bliss

If love were a person who would be?
If love were a person  it wouldn't be me
went it come to love I know I have the capacity
but whenever I try I seem not to have the ability
I try and I try
and I cry and i cry
and when love doesn't find me I always wonder why
so maybe instead of waiting for love to come and find me
I should go out search for love from sea to sea
so I search from the Atlantic to the Pacific
and from the Indian to the Arctic
and what to I find?
that during my entire journey I've been completely blind
it was thoughts and my fears
of getting hurt and in tears
that clouded the love that was inside me for years
so know, my love will shine like a beacon,
it will shine so bright that it will never weaken
So if love were a person who would be?
If love were a person  it would be me

I fell in love with her persona
but not the person she really was
I fell in love with the idea
of her and I become us
but reality set in
and I was never going to win
the heart I truly desired
not because I was rejected
but because I had perfected
the persona of the girl I admired

I wear my heart on my fingertips
and that's why all my realtionships
last five seconds or so
in the length of a handshake
I fall in love, my heart breaks    
and then I let her go
but I begin to regret it
and then try to forget it
but the mind cannot erase
what the heart does know
the mind can only restrict the feelings
so that they may never grow
so here I am with heart of gold
a heart full of half loves
that my heart witholds
because, deep down, I'm scared...
scared to love completely
for fear that it won't be returned
scared to fall too deeply
for fear of getting burned
Am I a romantic? ...yes
hopeless? ...maybe
but I try to stay hopeful
that the girl I reach out to
will also reach out to me

hopeful for tomorrow
to drown out today's sorrow,
place your hope on the horizon
you always say
you going to make it some day
but the problems keep arisin'
so what you gonna do what you do
what you gonna say
we're living for tomorrow
while working for today
but tomorrow never comes
and today is done and gone
nothing comes of anything
and live moves on

I'm a prisoner
locked up in a cell that is myself
I long to break free
from self tyranny
cause when I not myself
I have no identity
just a breathing unknown entity
living in serenity

I am, I am optimistic realist
I see the world for what is
and I think it could be better
I am, I am a haughty piece of humble pie
I boast my strengths yet wonder why
I think I am any better, than anyone

I'm so adjective I verb nouns
I scream in a dream but it makes no sound
we all want want to be heard
from the herd
but one cry turns to many
until you can't hear any
just a rumbled, mumbled symphony
that continues on eternally
saying
we are, we are all just wanting to be loved
though we tend to put ourselves above
so it's harder to love others
if we could, and we could, we could change our world for good
if we loved ourselves and our neighborhood
and treated strangers like our brothers
and say
your beautiful
you have heart gold that you enfold
'til your heart
get ripped apart
then you piece it back together
but now it's worn and tethered  
but please don't sell your heart of gold
for the price of silver
cuase
you are, you are brighter than superstar
if you raise yourself than you the raise bar
and make the world much better
you are, you are the lyricist in your own band
but If your plans don't go as you had planned
well it's probably for the better
just let go, then you'll know that freedom's the lack of control
just reach deep down into your soul
and then you'll find your answer...

the world is dissolving
because we are revolving
around a message that isn't love
the message has been mangled, twisted and turned
the message will leave you cut, scarred and burned
because true love is the only answer
and everything else just acts as a cancer,
let go of the walls
let go of the fears
they do nothing at all
except interfere
just let love into your heart
and then you'll start
to be able to see the love around you
because you can't see the love outside your walls
even though it surrounds you  
learn to love, by loving yourself
look at the good the bad and everything else
and accept yourself for who you are
admire the beauty, yet notice the scar
for if you ignore it, it will fester and grow
infecting your beauty until it doesn't show
so admire yourself, because you're worth admiring
while desiring to better yourself,
knowing you're still currently worth desiring
if you love yourself you are the shining light
that saves the souls lost in the night
if they see the light they might want to shine too
then someone very special might want to shine for you

give me a redo
just one day
I waited too long
and the girl got away

I was waiting for the right time
but that time didn't come
I wanted to tell you
but I was twiddling my thumbs

I wanted to tell you that your beautiful
and that your skills are unbelievable
and that I like everything I know about you
though that may seem inconceivable
but those words didn't come at the right time
so now I'm writing this poem and losing my mind

they say good things come to those who wait
but whenever I do it seems like a mistake
cause now I see what I've been missing
I want to be the one you are kissing
I want to be the one you embrace
the one to put a smile on your face
the one to make you laugh
and hold you when you cry
I want to make you happy
I want to be that guy

so give me a redo
just one day
and I won't let you,
or the time, slip away

If Leonardo Da Vinci were still alive
He would have been put in the psych ward back in 1965
If MichaelAngelo were still around
instead of soaring on the ceiling
he'd be trampled on the ground
If Bach came back
he'd come under attack
for being too radical and extreme
just because he followed his dreams

society today
pushes artists away
using it's dark manipulative hand
to make graffiti artists into outlaws
and satanists out of rock bands
so if you find yourself asking where is the Da Vinci of today
just look in the backstreets, corners, and the alleyways

Well I'm not perfect
and I don't care
I'm not perfect
I've got my own cross to bear
well he's not perfect
and neither is she
we are all imperfect
can't you see?
if we all were perfect we'd all be the same
but is there harmony in monotony
when there's nowhere higher left to aim?
perfect clones
palindromes
the same front and back
someone is going to crack
does forceful conformity
force a deformity?
I'm only sure
I'm not insecure
cause I'm not perfect
and I don't care
I'm not perfect
I've got my own cross to bear
well he's not perfect
and neither is she
we are all imperfect
can't you see?

if my pen were free
from my own ******
what would it say....
would it talk about
how we are the exact same way
the pen controlled by my hand
while I'm controlled the puppetry
my hand controlled by my thoughts and
my thoughts by the hands that made me
Or would it boast that it is still freer than I
for it sees and feels my hand on it's thigh
and I know not who's trying to ****** me
and produce me into someone I'm not
cause when I climb up the puppet strings  
I get entangled in knots
my pen takes those tangled lines
and helps me straighten them out
helps me collect thoughts
to grasp what it's all about
my pen knows me
writes my every secret
and knows each line
of every finger print
I don't know all my own puppeteers
I don't their audience
but it appears
to me now that it's all quite obvious
that I am a slave to the illusion of freedom
while the pen's understanding of it's own slavery
is the very thing freed 'em