I wasn't raised as a lady
with three brothers and a father to tie me down
and beat sense into my girlish mind.
But early illuminations
brought dark realizations-
as it seems a fool is favored.

Feathered eyelids and buttered cheeks
of these I knew nothing.
Clumsy drugstore purchases
to paint a face too young into beauty.
The type they want to look at.

Braces be gone!
Glasses, so long!
Sear these curls with an iron!
So there, cursed mirror of murmurs!  
The type they want to look at!

Nay!
He says that's not enough.
And who am I to stop his hand
spidering up my skirt.
This is it.
The type they want to touch.

Wash your face off
and all the scents and spots
of whoever he was.
Some are too deep,
it seems they have seeped.
The type they want to ****.

You'll ruin your sheets
if you cry like that-
motherless infant.
You cannot always need,
you'll be the type they want to leave.

Dear soul, you've got a lot to say. Speak.
Dear brain, you've always been right. How?
Dear legs, you've always been my strength. Fall.
Dear arms, you've been the ones to raise me up. Drop.
Dear nose, you've revealed all the fakes. Sniff.
Dear eyes, you've seen the game of life. Blind.
Dear heart, you've shattered with every tear. Heal.
Dear me, you've survived through it all. Break down.
Soul, when will you acquire your voice
And give your long awaited speech?
Brain, how could you have been so right
When everything seemed so wrong?
Legs, when will you give out
And scar from the fall?
Arms, how have you been able to hold me up
When everything else was pulling me down?
Nose, when will you expose me?
Eyes, when will you stop functioning
And go dark to the world?
Heart, how will you piece yourself together
When I cry every day?
Me, I'm sorry.

Through years spent
sharing a bedroom
And playing in the same streets
Gnawing on the same meals
with childish teeth
I don't think you really
know how much it all
means

Now weeks pass
I'm in class, you work
but I spend many nights
wondering if you hurt
or wonder if I've grown
since the days in that home

We have different tastes
different hungers
but I mean it when I say
I love you and I'm grateful to
call you
Brother

Silently and scrupulously looking at my dad for a minute, I asked,
"What is it like to get old?"
He turned his attention away from the computer screen
Met my gaze
Took a deep breath in, and began,

"You don't realize just how fast life goes by, until it's gone.
One day, you look in the mirror, and realize that twenty years have gone by.
It's a different person in the mirror than what you expected.
Some days, I look at your mother
And it feels like I've only known her for a few months.
Other days I look at her, and she's just so different from the woman I met.
We've grown and changed so much together.
I am, to this day, learning new things about her,
And all of them make me love her more.
Yeah, she can't cook for ****, and she talks in tangential circles
Which I just can't keep up with.
But since day one I was smitten with her.
And to this day I'm surprised that she actually chose
To spend the rest of her life with me.
Getting old with the right person makes getting old bearable."

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.