I look just like you. We are the same. I’m beside you when everyone is drinking. I laugh at all of the same jokes. But inside, I do not. No one notices. I continue laughing.

They see me but they do not see me for what I am. They see what they have heard. They see the rumors. What they think is not my business.

But I am not there, they see what they hear and treat me as such. Conversations become whispers, smiles become corner eye glances, hugs become waves.

My presence is known but not felt. In a room 5 there are 4. I am not there, I do not belong.

I am invisible.

Prompt 29

the doorbell sounds, I open the door she turns around and greets me with a smile.

She's glowing: radiant, vibrant, beautiful, flawless.

She embodies the decadence of elegance.

No words are spoken, they are not needed. We embrace and begin our descent into indulgence.

I don't want this to end I become Lucid, no matter how long it lasts it is not enough.

This is torment, for as long as I can remember she has occupied a portion of my subconscious and conscious.

But she is trapped in my mind. Real as long as I am idle.

Idols have no time to be Idle.

Idle time is your worst enemy.

I wake up, sweating, groggy, upset.

I am still searching, for my Bad Dream.

I hear the clock pendulum swing, your heart stings and I feel my stomach in my throat.

I was your best friend, you were my homie, the walls of trust are crumbling, how do I cope?

“There’s no excuse!” I say, but of course, you know.

You know I wish that I could take it back and I wish you would look back.

You can’t, your plane is boarding, You’re leaving. “This is the final boarding call for Flight 1089.” says the gate attendant. You open your phone, find my name and begin to write me a text, you pause, you stop your habit. It’s time for something new. We’ve tried our time has come and gone.

I’m looking at my phone, praying for a text. It never comes, it’s late, I turn on the shower. The past is forever in eternity, but I’m scrubbing my body as if I can wash it all away, as If I can be clean of the past. Free from it. But the memory is fresh and a fresh canvas is best.

A Betrayal, Soap & A Plane Ticket

Prompt 63

If time could freeze I would hold the breeze and stop the leaves from falling.
If time could freeze it would be you and me together in autumn.
But time doesn't freeze, autumn has gone winter is here and you aren't.
You aren't here, with me, you're everywhere and nowhere. My mind imagines you're happy. It imagines your smile. More often than not though it imagines your with someone else. But on the really bad days, I mean the really bad days it imagines your touch and those are the hardest days. What about the days when I look at my phone and I see her name but I imagine it's yours and I think about the conversations we used to have.
But if time could freeze I would hold the breeze and stop the leaves from falling.
Before the moment passed where I let you go, I would have taken an eternity to contemplate life without you.
But I wouldn't have needed an eternity just 2 days.
See the first day I would have made it through, but my night fall, I would want you close to me, next to me.
By day 2 I would be missing our conversation the laughs and situations that we always found ourselves in. So what then do I do on the third day when I cannot say I love you?
I press play, and resume life and tell you I love you and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the pain. I'm sorry for the mistakes and even though I'm battling a personal demon, I should have let you be what you wanted to be, my rib. We'd do everything together. So I wouldn't need to freeze time or hold the breeze and stop the leaves from falling.

Often times you twist and bend my emotions to your will, I become a caricature and puppet on the strings of the most precious, witty and beautiful woman in all the world. You are my beloved, and there is no better feeling than the fire we create when in the presence of one another. Gazing into your eyes fills me with warmth and splendor that only an astronaut can feel when he gazes at images of space. He knows there is so much that has yet to be uncovered, so much to explore all the while discovering amazing things along the way. Discovering things about himself and the infinitely beautiful, mysterious and deep space. Your beauty is reminiscent of a Swan nebula, but in your case, how fitting that the alternative name be Omega nebula. Both names fitting, you have the grace and striking beauty of the Swan, while maintaining the presence of mind and the calm that is expected of Royalty. Your beauty is reminiscent of a supernova; untamed and bursting with fierce warm energy that is at times threatening, yet baring witness to such an occurrence in nature is an incomparable privilege that few experience. The possibilities are endless, opportunity for unsurpassed success and cataclysmic disaster lurk at each attempt to explore the unknown. Your heart and mind are my unknown, I have discovered so much about you and all that you have to offer, but still, there is an indeterminate amount that I have yet to uncover. You appear innocent and  naïve at times and at others distant and cold at others warm and loving. There is an enchanting spell that you have woven within the fabric of my soul and spirit that draws me back to your tender embrace helplessly.  Being within your grasp and falling prey to your seduction over and again is only surpassed by the very first time my eyes met yours. Falling for another, could not even compare to your coquetry. Your presence fomenting emotions that conflict while your words assuage these same emotions, making them no less than a welcome breeze on searing August afternoon. You are greatly missed. In your absence, I pine for our next encounter, so that once again our eyes can meet and I can become an astronaut gazing at images of space, eager to uncover the wonders of the unknown, the unknown that I have come to love and revere. An unknown that can only be regarded as the consummate frontier, yet a frontier with depths known to only the cosmos and only willing to share with those who dare.

You can't fall gracefully, next time let's grow in love. It's ugly when a tree falls but have you ever seen a flower bloom, beautiful isn't it? If you were a thief I'd be your accomplice. If you were a failure I'd be by your side as if you were accomplished. If you had cancer and had to suffer through chemo, baby I'd be by your side and caress your bald head cause I'm a fool for you like Cee-Lo. Can't believe I won your heart 4-5-6 when it could have easily been 1-2-3. I don't know what love is I just know what you mean to me. Got **** you can't sing but I love when you sing to me. You can't dance either but I love when you dance with me. I never tell you 'cause when you dance you're happy and when you sing you smile. I love to see your teeth and I hate to see you frown. You're the girl I never met but always knew existed. The girl I had to have but only got with my persistence, 'cause I never had the jokes or charm to diminish the guard you had up. I'm the over time type. Go the extra mile to get the "W" and time is the only real way to get over you. When they publish my memoirs the chapterS written about you will be as vivid as a Renoir. The sequels never as good as the first time so instead of trying again let's just remember the first time. Sean and me were talking about you and Ashley and he said he was thinking about marriage and I figured if his famous *** can settle down, then the fact that you're still trying is something to cherish. Instead of being embarrassed about the fact that I'm Punch Drunk in Love with a woman, I should just take a chance and love that woman. I wish my heart were tangible so you can feel what I feel. No matter when a relationship ends true love is never finished so instead of a period I'll end this with an ellipsis...

At a moments notice everything crashes

We flee from the light and return to the ashes

In life we die a million times to become better for tomorrow

When tomorrow comes we dream of yesterday

We imagine the infinite, and dwell on an instant

Diffident in the moment, bold in thought

We are caught between action and being inert.

A lifetime is ephemeral to the ages, do not dally, life is happening