Alone
in the sky
Your breath in
me is like expanding helium

Raised you hold my wire across

All the open air know as this great wired distance


Forget everything hold the wire for every moment
Remember how you breathed into me, You hold on tight
Showing all failed girls before what kind of person it takes
To not let this balloon reach an air pressure point of popping
You hold me suspended at a perfect level next to the sun, moon and God
Everything I’ve loved is at the mercy of a string tied around
The knuckles of a girl one hundred and fifty miles away
You finally give up but won’t let me know
Tie me to a street light then you go

When dark you can see me floating
Judging what would be best
To slowly lose your breath
And hit the pavement
Or cut the wire
Eventually
rise and

pop

Yeah, I fell from the sun
Which seemed to be two miles
Too high
Right now I feel human
Get it together now
Ride this wave that parts
My hair into
What I can take into my lungs and what’s been
Used up
Cover up the light
Lampshade
Push fade physics and rules
Listen to a song with your skin
Take it in
Feel right
Feel human
Human Scream
Levitate over blades guided by a
Human Stream
Of consciousness

Curve, bend, wretched lines into
Pure, perfect circles I can use to dot my eyes
See things and understand them
Vision breaks life into a process
Bit by bit
My lip
Trying to whisper words into pictures
So I can show you in my mind
What that picture we never took
Looks and feels like
Falling from the sun two miles
Too high
All you smuggled from my body
Will be taken in
To feel right
Feel human

Hey how are you
Yeah it’s been quite some time
I haven’t talked to you in awhile
Just thought I’d drop by and uhhh….

I already had somewhat of a voicemail already planned
Because I knew you probably wouldn’t answer ha….

Umm
Where have you been?
Maybe I haven’t recognized the extreme changes of your character
Or if I did something that upset you
I put X’s on my calendar on the days I don’t see you
And you’ve already set the record with a couple of months straight
So I suggest you stop playing

Usually I just hang up when I hear the answering machine
Or wait till the beep because
I still like listening to you say, “I’ll call back”
But this time I knew I had so many things to say
I hope you listen to this but not just the first three seconds
And delete it

Now I can only hope at some magnificent time
My phone will go off and illuminate your name over caller ID
Showing how you’re trying to reach me
For what ever purpose
To ask me how I am….or
To bring me down
And finally lay me to rest
With closure

Hey umm I hope I see you soon
I love you
Goodbye

Last night I looked at something from the summer of 2009.
It was buried in the depths of my “sent” folder. Counterclockwise. Via email. Something small. Barely a few words at all. Feel as though I fell in time. Sent to an address I rarely see. Opened by a girl whose eye color is something I should forget.  Few words exchanged but it still put a dent in my timeline.
Just a couple of letters together, forming words. First it started with
“Hey”
Soon asking about your day
You replied with haste
(Which now seems humorous too me)
Nothing memorable was in your lines
But I put something in my mind
That in this brief period of time. Just a few words from your fingers put a voice between my ears. Conversation now is impossible. Your first name made me feel human. Because I finally cared for someone who wasn’t myself. I didn’t reply to what you sent me because I saw you shortly after. Now, close to 2011, I feel like I should say something back. Catch you off guard. Light a spark. Forest fire in your brain.
I began to construct a sentence. But before I could lay to rest my finger on a period, I gently held down delete.delete.delete. Till blank. Clicked the back arrow. Falling back up this rabbit hole to the present day.
I’m sorry I’ve been rambling on.
I should get back to work.

Did I push you away
With all my heavy words
Accused of stealing
A feather
Blame me for why
You can’t fly

You’re turning mere thoughts
Into marathons
Take a breather
Though each breath you undergo
Absorbs air from my pleading lungs

Do you want me to push you
So you can fall twenty seven stories
And by the time you fall past ten
You’ll understand what you want
Turn my pockets inside
Out of time
Now, just another crack on the pavement

Take the stitches out of
My skin like words
Complicated curves
The mural on my back
Stained by an idea
That grew in your head
It’s now what you believe
And it’s become who I am

How you think, lays boulders on my spine
Give me a break

Ugggh
Why?
It’s a ******* Tuesday
Who does this on a Tuesday
With someone else in the room
Who can hear
EVERYTHING
That’s going on
I know it’s your girl friend and you haven’t seen her in two days
But sweet ****
I feel so awkward

“Shhh, it’s okay. He’s asleep.”
Yeah, *******
I wanna ask him how that test went
Or if he got that hot girls number in the elevator
Something to stir the mood
Something to stop the possible pregnancy
That’s happening twenty feet away from me

Where am I supposed to go?
The lobby?
Sleep on the couch?
Yeah, **** that

I should take a needle
And poke holes in all his condoms….
What kind of human being would I be after
Completing such a wretched task
God, that was such an evil thought

Then, just as quickly as the began…
The springs suddenly grew silent
I was confused
But I didn’t want to turn around and look
I just waited
Till ultimately I heart my roommate whisper
“Sorry”

I seem to be a broken radiator
Not one that generates heat
Throughout the room
But one that used to explode with light

You made me so warm
My eyes would melt and drip to the floor
So I could look at insignificant things
More closely

I found what you thought of me down there
Between the floor boards
It was dusty and unloved
So I left it