Arms swinging through the air only to touch my own sides. A tiny speck in the distance now defines your essence, it lingers. Look into that cloudless sky while the breeze ruffles through my hair. Deep breathing leading to memory repeating. And out of all those memories, I didn’t have to pretend to be happy…
mostly in the summer.

Cover my countenance with a mask, but with you it just arrives naturally. These times have been chiseled into my mind. Though sometimes while my eyes are shut, my dreams are vivid like the breeze that ruffled my hair.
Nothing false fell from my mouth.
The only words that were heard came from the pulse of my disgusting heart.
I miss that cloudless sky. I hate this story book, it makes me feel alone.

There was a presence behind the hands that sculpted my summer. The detail of the sun, the complexity of the simple grass. There had to be… or else my body would fall apart.
This constant twisting in my stomach would become all too real.
I never really liked falling apart, it makes things more complicated.

There’s always that one part to the memory, the end. That makes what ever sweet thing you’re dreaming of so **** bitter…that it’s foul to the mind. Who knew grief comes from beginning smiles.
I wish I was numb, to everything, especially the touch of the eyes.

Nobody can fit this imprint in my body. Your hair on my shoulder as my eye lids collapsed. Breathing as though it was the rhythm of my life…***…***.

I think I am numb now. That disgusting pulse isn’t going out to anyone, mostly because I can’t find it anymore.

Ich fühle mich wie wir in einem früheren Leben erfüllt
(I feel like we met in a former life)
Auch…where are my manners
English, right
I feel like we met not in this life
But before
And by “met” I mean loved

I have no idea how

We share common things
Und our eyes meet whenever we think the other isn’t looking

Maybe I’m going crazy under ******’s hand
I don’t feel like I’m in the right state of mind
But I feel like we’ve loved
Once upon a time



Have I met you before
Because you seem super familiar
I think you were my neighbor before I moved
Because I remember the pretty girl
Next door with brown hair
We played in my back yard and pretended to be aliens
Then made macaroni art
That’s us….on a hill….holding hands
You fell and got a boo boo on your elbow
And I put a dinosaur band-aide on it
We road bikes to the park and we swinged
Remember my best friend Johnny? His birthday party?
Well you were there and I got cake in your hair and you cried…
I gave you a gift on valentines day
It was a flower I put in a purple box
my mom planted in my yard
And later she yelled at me and put me in the corner for digging it up
I shared my dairy queen milkshake with you
Even though It was chocolate and that’s my favorite flavor
And I was really surprised because you said that was your favorite too
Do you remember…
No…?
Oh okay sorry.
You can come over and play with some of my toys if you want
I like your shoes…

I met her in a past life,
In February, new grass reaching through snow
This funeral only reminds me of
Vibrations in my spine when she’d leave
Symphony strings come in
Crushing all my Ambien
Recreating Adam and Eve

I could feel my disgusting old heart pulse
When I became her.
When she took over me.

I remember
Watching life go by like movies
Ich erinnere mich (I remember)
Dancing in ballrooms to records
I remember
Young bodies in ***. Minds dowsed in ecstasy
I remember you

Our dying won’t stop euphoria like this
It’ll just be put on hold for a while
Emotions becoming a straight beaming line
Because I’ll meet her again
All we’ll do is change the date and time

I love Christmas
Although, I’m not religious what so ever
I love the idea of Christmas

No matter what religion we are
We give each other gifts
This universal idea of people coming together
To bring each other cheer

I like it when we’re nice to each other

Right now; War and hate seems like anything but possible

I was eating supper when I saw you
In the dinning hall
Middle of this chilly campus
I saw you beautiful through glass

Walking with two blondes to check in
Red hoodie topping
Black skinny jeans
The only brunette
Intimidation

I got in line to make my own hoggie sandwich and
You and your friends got right behind me
Started talking about the drunken activities of the past weekend
Everything in the marrow of my bones wanted
To turn around and introduce myself
To begin friendship with the physical manifest of beauty
Made eye contact; said “hi”
You smiled

I quickly grabbed my hoggie and walked away to my seat
Perhaps tomorrow I’ll ask you how you are
Then the next day maybe ask for a number
Although, every day it’s just eye contact and a smile

The food I devour here could be a metaphor for courage
I need to keep getting in line
Building up my confidence to actually start an understandable sentence with you
The only place I see you is in this dinning hall
This is the only place where I have supper
You are the reason I eat

Then, you and your friends get up and leave
Throw away your plate like the conversation we never had
And I watch you walk away beautifully through glass

Light peers in through the window
thinking of summer
I bring my wine glass to my lips
Then stop…
Everyone is expecting me to drink
This Predestination of thirst

I drop the glass
From two meters high
Shatters in jagged pieces by my feet
The light from the window
Mixes with the red wine and broken pieces
There’s a prism at my shoes
Bright rainbow of hues
Sprouts like arms
Giving me a hug
That I didn’t deserve

I see my body
In the broken pieces of glass

I dropped it
Out of destruction
Creation
Beauty
I wanted to see this
Simply because,
I haven’t seen anything pretty in awhile

I can make a wave across space
I’ll call it beautiful like darkness


Did you know that in space everything is silent…

All the crushing of stars
Galaxies twisting
Black holes tearing space
The movement of planets

The most beautiful sounds in the Universe(s)

are completely silent

So,
You want to be able to write beautiful poetry
Some say it’s easy
“Put a few words here and there. Hooray! A poem!”
Well that’s all well and good but
If you want to be really good at poetry
It’s harder than that
That stuff previously mentioned
Is a brief gust of wind that catches you off guard
Real poetry, words that hit
Or like speeding stones crashing into your temple
It’s gonna hurt because the poem hurt to write
To be really good at poetry
You have to lose
The only thing you’ve ever loved or felt comfortable existing around
Anyone can write good poems
Once they lose the reason their heartbeat fluctuated
***** up the feeling of being whole
Pealing off the skin to shed a new persona
Burn their bodies as a sacrifice
Paying homage to the only person who could control both heart and mind

You gotta watch your soul mate drown right before your eyes
To write good poetry
Like fishing with your Dad and you got the big fish on the line
He’s excited for you and you really want that fish
Till the line cuts lose
And everything feels a whole lot simpler
Also your father also looks depressed

Whether it’s for the Summer or two years
You have to meet your soul mate
Both of you recognize that you two were meant for each other
Then He/She has to leave on His/Her own free will

Only then will you write good poetry
And with a little more tragedy
You could write better than me
But don’t get your hopes up

That’s how you write good poetry