Missing you has created this emptiness
Liked a hunger unsatisfied it cry’s out

Do I love you? The answer’s yes
Yet I’m paralyzed from fear and doubt

There’s strength and power in this heart of mine
A heart that beats strong and proud

Am I Infatuated or is this real
Second guessing is not allowed

I’m scared I’ll lose you if I wait too long
A price I’m not ready to pay

But then again, what if I’m wrong
I know hurting us both is not OK

There’s so much I want to tell you
Things I must say

It seems so unfair
Do you feel the same way?

I’ve searched my heart
And waited so long

I want to take a chance
But I think it would be wrong

I want to remove things
That are keeping us apart

Although I’m not sure
Just where to start

I don’t have much time
Because my kidney’s are bad

It’s my biggest obstacle
And I’ll just make you sad

I know that you say
It’s going to be fine

But they said ten years
And it’s already been nine

But I want you to know
My love is for real

I’m so thankful for you
You’re the last love I’ll feel

I’m lucky to have you
And the love that you share

I want you to know
Just how much I care

I hope you understand
I hope that you see

That this the way
That it has to be

Please don’t be sad
I don’t want to hurt you

It’s the right thing to do
And I feel that I have to

It ****** me off
All the things that it’s taken

This kidney disease
Has left me forsaken

I know you’ll be there
Right to the end

I love you and you know that
You are my best friend.

People have changed it seems
Allot over the years
Were smarter, stronger
But Godless, without fear

Right and wrong is all fuzzy
That baby's dead who was he
He was a choice made in haste
Now it's just medical waste

Might have grown up
To save us all one day
I hope that wasn't him
But who's to say

They make what's wrong seem right
There's more darkness now than light
If you don't agree with what they say
Get ready for a fight

Believing in what's right
Has become the crime
And it's getting worse
All the time

Tolerance they say
It's what they make us do
If you won't agree
Then it's the ACLU for you

There's no brotherhood of man
Where you could get a helping hand
We used to look out for one another
Everybody was your brother

They say Peace! Peace
But there is no peace
There’s no peace without love
And no love without God above

Tell me, where's the love
I don't know, I cant tell you
I don't feel it anymore

Loneliness Fills the air inside
My lungs fill with despair
This place inside I have created
Not of my own doing but a by-product
it has a taste like rusty metal
When I leave it goes with me
It has become a part of me
I am comfortable with it now
It is now my only friend
I have forgotten how to be around others
My friend likes it that way
And loneliness keeps me that way
Making me feel safe it deceives me
There are time I embrace it and breath it in
Other times I try to hide from it
But I cant escape it
Every time I take a breath it's there
Waiting, calling out to me like a lover
I have forgotten who I am
I think I have become something else all together
I cry out to God "Free me from this curse!"
I don't want to feel this, But no response
Lord! Lord! take me! I cry
Even if I have to suffer I will
Just to be free from it I would do anything
The taste I cant get rid of the taste
The bile rises in me and it's getting harder to eat
Food has no flavor anymore
I cant remember the last time I've taken any
I am poured out like water
Wasting away in my own private hell
My soul want's to escape this sinful flesh
I no longer see the world as I did
My world that I see is black and empty
like the night only it doesn't renew itself
Time is running out yet I'm not afraid
I am ready for it It ends here
I'm the last of my kind
It's over now there is emptiness

If you'll listen, I'll tell you a story
Of a life of pain and trouble

I had to learn things the hard way
sometimes, some things over and over

It was the worst feeling I ever had
couldn’t say what I was feeling

Couldn't conceive it, couldn't believe it
No understanding could I find

It was all mental fornication
They were destroying their creation

Why couldn't they stop to see
What they were doing to me

Now I do the best I can
Taught myself to be a man

Loneliness comes and goes
My scars will never heal

Never reached my full potential
I'll never know what could have been

All I feel is defeated
I feel like I was cheated

It's Gods plan now I see
This is how it has to be

I'm the one who suffers without you
I'll be fine someday

But now my heart is void and black
I lost a piece I can't get back

And now it feels like it's just over
Yes it's over for me

My thoughts are cluttered
With all these memories

Like pieces of fire
They burn me inside

I'm swallowed up by all my failures
There's no time left to do it all again

All my reasons have become excuses
Don’t have any left because I used them all

No point in dreaming I'm just to tired
It's time to put away such silly things

Nothing's changed that much for me
Why can't they just let me be

I no longer care about it
Or do I?

Look at him twitching
You know he's tweaking
His jaw swinging back and forth
But there's no speaking
See's something down
In the carpet twinkling
He gets all excited
You know what he's thinking
Anything he finds
He's going to be smoking
I wouldn't be laughing
Because he ain't joking
Down there for hours
Refusing to fail
Doesn't even slow down
After smoking toenail
Smokes up almost
All that he finds
He hears a noise
Now he's peeking through the blinds
He's been smoking too long
And he's up all night
Doesn't have a job
But that's alright
He's finds a dumpster
And without any warning
He's dives in searching
Til the early morning
That's just the life
Of a tweaker you see
Always out hustling
To get his **** for free
If you see him at night
Approach with caution
He's got a stink about him
Because ain't been washing
Picking at his face
Til his sores are bleeding
A light and a mirror
Is all he's needing
He finally got busted
Now he's on parole
Has to hide his drugs
Up in his *******
It's a shame, but that's the way
A tweaker gets by in the world today
His family don't want him
And he don't have many friends
His life is cut short
And that's how it ends
Everybody knows him
But no one knows his name
They just refer to him
As "That dope smoking Lame"

The morning is quiet and the lake is like glass
The sun is out the wind gone at last

I love the early part of the day
Just listening to nature with nothing to say

Nature speaks to me in a beautiful song
I wish it could stay like this all day long

But soon it's time for toil and confusion
As the world comes alive and man's intrusion

There's things to do, and work to be done
Children squealing as they play in the sun

Then evening comes and the sun's almost gone
I listen to the night until the sun brings the dawn

I love living here next to the lake
Always thankful for the memories I take

To me, it doesn't get any better than this
I find peace and serenity in my morning bliss

Have you ever just wanted to see?
Into the vastness of your mind?
Getting lost inside your self
The way out is hard to find

Lucidity and focus
Are sharpened by the ****.
It allows my mind to open
As I smoke and write this song

Now I don’t get all worked up,
About life and all that ****.
I just load another **** hit,
And roast that ******* ****!

I hold it in until it feels
As if my lungs are going to burst.
I start craving “Little Debbie’s”
But I’ve got to get some first.

I don’t like to drink, that much
But I love to smoke some grass.
It’s not your job to judge me,
But feel free to kiss my ***!

There’s no point in denying
Because we all know it’s true
There’s always that one who talks ****
No matter what you do

So what’s the point of living?
If you can’t have any fun
I don’t make the rules, I break them
And that’s just how it’s done

Doesn’t anyone remember?
How to love and to forgive?
Accept me, for who I am,
And quit telling me how to live.

Is there someone there to share in?
You’re suffering and your guilt?
Or are they just there to destroy
All that you have built

Turn your head and look the other way.
Mind your business, but beware.
Think about me what you will
Because I really just don’t care

I’m the king of my castle
And all that I can see
Just me and my dog Chica
Living large and living free.

I’m sorry if you’re offended
By my arrogance and wit.
There are things you will understand
And allot you just won’t get.

Now there’s one thing to remember.
And you should always try to do.
Realize who you’re ******* with
And that I’m allot smarter than you.

Come on now I’m just kidding.
I think this **** is funny.
I’m going to put it on the internet
And try to make some money

I have one last thing to tell you
And I almost forgot
If you come around here
You better bring some ***

Now if you’re out of ****
This is what you can do
Bring some “Little Debbie’s”
But bring enough for two.

He's just a young boy
He doesn't understand
Why his family's driving off
With some other scary man

The boy sees his father
With his heart broken bad
As they're driving away
And it makes him feel sad

That was the day
Everything changed
And he was scared
His little life rearranged

Just four years old
With no one to protect him
They didn't seem to care
how it would one day affect him

The abuse happened right away
And it only got worse
He was terrified and broken
And it felt like a curse

Nobody seemed to care
At least it felt that way
And for the rest of his life
There'd be a price to pay

They broke his spirit
His body and his heart
Not caring enough to see
That they were tearing him apart

He started acting out
In the usual way
Hurting himself
By trying to make them pay

They told him he was worthless
What a thing to say
They said it was his fault
That he was born that way


And he believed it
Even though it wasn't true
He was too young
To be washed up and through

Now he's empty and alone
His heart has turned black
There's nothing he can do
To get his childhood back

Got into drugs early
And they consumed him fast
Found a way to feel good
And forget the past

Got so loaded
That he didn't have to feel
Thought he won the war inside
But the victory wasn't real

Was sentenced to prison
But that was OK
He had no value
To anyone anyway

Somehow he did it
And he managed to get clean
Found he had a genetic disease
Has to live on a machine

He's a lot older now
and his health is bad
Has a kidney disease
He got from his Dad

What a tragedy it is
To feel the end is near
To not care about a life
That was swallowed up by fear

Now nothing feels right
To him it all feels odd
It feels like he's worthless
Even to God