unravel all over
your bent back,
   salute,
to the brunt force of nature,
  fire so ravishing
    atop, maybe a little more adjacent,
similar to yours, my long, but not forever long, lost dear -

cut it out,
  spit it to the foggy mirror image
of your vulnerable self
splattered all over this ******* room,
prancin’, yellow in grip,
         around these basic things
you call yourselves master’s to,
                                            of,
           ­          (u n d e r),

“say it again, baby,
                   say it again,”

      ‘didn’t catch that (tone) the first go ‘round -

   must be rough on the skin,
      skin aching to mend
     from the splitting of your tainted souls -
   in to mend
  that softest spot
   where no stranger’s **** can console,
   no love that does not want love back
            can control,
   no cry, just shy
              away
               from that being the rescue..

   even still,
     wouldn’t it, even if I could it

Thirteen hours on a train, just to see your face -
looked for it in your hiding place;
Made my way through all the memories,
granted your fingers
permission to keener things

took the train,
    in Jesus’ name,
all the way to you;

‘was always you –

the blue,
          the “I’m through!”,
              the “who knew?”,
   and         the “…, too”;

you, as if I couldn’t see further,
you,
guilty as charged
for this 2nd ****** -
      this mind that cannot be un-******,
    one wall, so heavy, I’m stuck;

superseded,
    as you proceeded
to lie with both eyes,
             or
   pretend the love died,
long enough to see me cry;

  truth made to waste,
patience into haste,
       another love story gone wrong,
     jotted down, but not for long;

obliteration,
     translation - you

“I love you like the moon.”

         “I’d do anything to see that smile.”

                      “I’m standing on a roof
               and the tingle of the edge
                          reminds me of you..”

                 “Anything, anything for those eyes.”

            “Do you want the gifts I have for you?
        *Nope, I just want you.
                 Kay, I’ll wear a bow.
         I’ll wear a bow too..”

                              too,
               too,
too,

  girdled,
       packed up,
   ensnared, stacked, ****** up -
  
      All fickle,
   molded, folded
           to the point where the paper
         starts to tear,
                    
   “One day, we’ll get married.”

Cold,
    recycled feelings
   and you still don’t care?
Care enough to play nice
   with the frail beast
          at your feet,
  the silent song
whisking
   the oil
                 and
         water
  into grey -
      
    “A fantasy –that’s what you are to me..”

Vacuous games
    you still like to play -

   as if
      I were a fool, too,
                     like him –

       or a fool, too,
                               like you -

  not to see how bad you are,
             how sad you are,

           lonesome,

         aching baritone
     deceiving a different home
       with the loudness still in your lap,

       ended with that slap,
        started, again, with that stare,
      that glare into a promise,
          a dream worth more while
        than a bed full of loveless tricks
             and a jealous heart
                rung out,
        back in the back,
           where the bees feast
                on all the hot meat
            swallowed,
      inhaled by your salty appetite

                              for sadness,
                                 contrived madness,

              again,
              again,
             ­ agrain?,
              again,
              again?,
          ­    again,
              a_pain -

                  ****,

ungird me from this swaddling love cocoon,
                     unshackle me,
                         untie me from this camouflaging lie,
                                       unwind me,
                                    unbind me,

              don’t blanket me with all
               you think I want to hear…

        if you don’t want me -
             let me love another      


        “..almost like it gives you joy crushing me so hard -
                   all I’ve done is love you.”

I want to get back to my roots,
                             to mindful paradises
                             of games, graves, and tug -
         heartfelt cries
         for a superior love
                         to mine,
                                        back to the lap to lap
                                        jokes of knowing
                                        too much too soon,
                                back to, to, to,
                                      so through with

  these mindless
  breaths beholding
  the loose yolk,
  engulfing, suffocating
  all possibility for more..
  
                 sank..
            sank..
                    sank..
        sank so deep
         in all the moist
                quicksand,
  
crusty, lying lips against another’s,
through all the thick emptiness,
             all the feared silence within,
racing through all the speed bumps
in this tainted Neverland,
                                         ****,
    in harmony, again,
       with the cheating cycle,
      entangled in someone else’s nothingness,
         as it has become yours entirely,
  in those empty eyes
   I’ve seen before - I know that you cannot recognize even yourself,
       the true gaze
          of white -
     hollowed
     out
           by
                     darkness,

    I pray for your deliverance,

Awake with my eyes closed,
nose up,

gone
wasted, pacing
through all of these worn out notions,
worn out motions
******* with the present,
twisted in with all the delusions
that, somehow, the truth isn’t enough?
What, then, are these things?

These feelings,
these wakening fantasies
of yes, but maybe no,

should I stay
or should I go?

Spitting to the rhyme,
it’s like I’ve been stuck in rhyme,
in between the tick
and tock of father crime,
all the right gestures,
         right stares,
      seem to all be right there,
all the right words,
but I just don’t seem to care -

is it there?
in there, over there
   -where
all the **** is shared upon
    the foreign lips
    of a deadly “****”,
deadly ram in the hot spot,
     top notch of shame,
   deep, deep,
back,
     in the game,

                 in the light…

muffled songs
of a bruised lion’s meow,
playin’ blame game with Narcissus,
attempts to break patterns
cycling around you,
treading over my anger
in all the unfolding places
it hides -
recycled love to get us through
the weather
that has trapped our hearts in,
in the bend
where if you close your eyes
I can run and hide,
tried and tried,
still so contrived, though,
and I can’t love like that -
a stranger in my bed
and in my house,
in my head,

a leg for a *******,
a tongue and kiss for a palm,
a touch or grip for a broken heart,

you never played fair, anyway