I'm losing myself
no
it's been taken away
I can't hold on any longer
I can't stand being
what I am today

I want out
I want to be free
I want this BS
to not be me

I want better days
old man tales
by the christmas fire
it's not too much to ask
such simple desires

I wonder
I see
didn't even know that came from me

I saw
I begin to believe
and how quickly it all changes
when none can agree

Agree with what
that's all I'd say
though I couldn't care less
either way

I have since forgotten
what it means to be
and to see with clear vision
all that I am to see

I haven't even tried
though in rhymes I can write
and with such cowardice
I maddeningly deny
all that I have been
and hope to be

It's not about me
these words are just
things that come to my mind
screaming, ringing, being

I could go on for eternities
now that I've learnt to let go
who cares what it's saying
I've said it
so now it is so

what does it mean
to be totally free
fictionalized fantasies
it seems
have no place with me

There are no limits
to what was meant to be
and even in reverse
it can be what's said to me

I say, I sing, I cry
I'm a dreamer
dreaming of things that I
hope to never do
but someday still
will find within me
dripping with meaning
leaving me
solemn, content, and still

So many times I try not to rhyme
can't stand the corniness it adds to each line

Dare I depart to a world all my own
where is that sound I long for
and have come to know

I search for true meaning
though really
nothing at all
it's just something said
for me to be saying something again

One day
just watch
soon you will see
as was meant to be
words flowing freely
in majestic prose
stopping hearts
but when they wonder why
an answer they can not find

Why do I do it
where does it all come from
can I believe
can I become
what it seems to me
never was and never wants to be

I have no shame
so the words flow without haste
I don't even care if they didn't keep pace

You will never progress if you do not believe
but more important is to try
then repeat
but just like me

I'm going somewhere
this I know
it's only a matter of time
before it will be so

One day soon you will see,
that it was me and you
that was meant to be.

When we wander,
easing through time,
there we will be,
peaceful
amidst crashing ocean waves
washing
in dreams
to the shore.

The silent wind whispers a prayer,
so imagination moves me.
And in stride I creep away;
not wanting to serve the role of a thinker:
not silent, yet really, not quite there.

Not an option to fly freely away,
so in the world of questions and suppositions
the imagination, as itself, enduringly remains.

To speak of the source or the fool
settles as the final question,
for in either case they move as one;
not quite to absolution,
but to that comfort in knowing;
that lie, be it the truth.

Somedays I wonder
where it all went
and what it was all for.

All is lost
if the last sign is a man
seated by the wayside
drifting with the wind;
aimless, and without cause.

Where would he have gone
had he not lost his way?

Where else,
and how far am I behind?

It is all fleeting,
every moment,
every gaze.

Away from me,
away from haste.

I stand for nothing,
but there it is steadily departing,
and all I see is a mission.

Acceptable,
but without certain nothingness,
there is no hope.

Such times as these lay wasting,
draining away
on childhood ambition
and frivolity.

What more
and what pain remains
is only a moment for all else to dream,
sweetly.

There are no words to describe
what I feel inside
the things you do to me
it happens every time

Seeing a picture of you
it's the perfect disguise
to hide that it's you I like
you know
what's on the inside

No one would ever believe
and a man this does not make
for who would see someone
as they are
and not just a piece of meat
long wished for
only to be licked, wetted, and eaten

He's not a man
he's already been knighted
but they forget I don't give a shh-
labels don't hide it
they don't even come close
nothing will take away
what you mean to me
and how I long to capture
your essence
your very soul

What I want sings like you
sweetly in my ear
what a pleasure it is
what packages you
it makes it all complete
as now I long for words
and even what has been said
is an insult to what you mean

You are everything
you need to be
but it seems you don't know
so easily distracted by things
put on for show

I long to be better
to capture it still
all that you are
and what you make me inside

Not nervous
I am brave
for it needs to be said

Though already taken
your presence
must be embraced
with the awe
of which it's deserving

It's no time to be bashful
it's a stranger's words
they mean nothing
but as has been said
one thing is certain
you are that thing dreamed about
through lonely nights
and summers still

Perhaps at 60
then you will see
what I've said all along
and that you're perfect still

Nothing can ever change
what you are to me
it can never be made waste
it's why I fight
it's why I will
do everything to make you
even stronger within

You can't let them change
what is already divine
I can't be allowed again
to go out of my mind

If only you could understand
just what it means
you would see
what I've wanted you to be
and exactly what I see

I am here again wondering when it will all end. I feel it again, a certain freedom I've longed to hear. It's such serenity, I hope it lingers again. And then when I am expected to again, I'll just say it in the end. I want to be free again. Free to be me again. And to see what it is that makes me be me. I wanted to see what I say and do what I mean, but then where else should I go, or can't I see that it was me that was meant to be. I understood the words that followed me. They stare, they comfort, they don't care, but in the end, they ring  in the air, so sweetly, it's like serenity singing sweetly again. I understand the words that wondered where it was to be, and when it ended, I said then again. Then when it began I should end it then say it was my friend again. I sent it out and then it sent it when I said it's not the way it ends.  I someday wondered why it would be the way it would end with me. I sometimes wonder why I bother to see what I wondered to be, but then it all ends with me again. I say, I sing, I seek, I wondered, I pray, I believe, I understand, and in the end it's never going to be me. So free. From me. The me that I'm meant to be. And then again. Me. Until the end. I fear nothing, and then when it ends, I'll say it again. Someday I'll pray and then sing until the end, when it will be again, what I wanted to never again send, end, or forget to be when I went back then said lend me hearts to cry, these tears they laugh, they sing, they see the light. I sounded wonders and thought it so. I meant it, then again. Then said it was and then said it again. Win. Try to begin. Then when it ends, sing it's begun again.

I may be free.  Closer to who I want to be. Something else. Something better than me. An evolution, so soon I'll see that it was what I was sent to be. I understood these words, and then they ended again, but in the end I said it was done and then it went again. Pray for the words to seep through me to the world they've never known. They must believe, see, dream, feel, and see it's real. It's their world again, and then they'll sing sweetly, dropping tears, firing waterfalls, swinging freely, freeing themselves in the end. Let's send it again. Someday, it will never end. And then I will see what it was meant to be for me. And you. And we. And us. And see, it's just that. Just what it should be. Even me. Even free. Even when we believed. Even when we don't see. We must understand it was what wasn't said that was said to be, and then in the end, you must not wish it again. Begin the end. Begin bitterly, the neverending beginning, and say a friend sent you again to be there at the end.