I sat there and thought
I was rooted to the spot
Thinking in what ifs

If I was not there
Would anyone care
If I did not show

And I concluded
That none of them ever would
Then began to smile

I went through the day
Thinking, Smiling, about that
Until I saw her

I owed her a gift
An old promise to fulfill
And then I ran off

For I knew well, that
Should I look her in the eye
My smile would just break

For I knew the look
That I would receive from her
Of fear and worry

As she could see me
And what I truly think of
For she has seen it

Reflected on her
And that night I felt my life fade
For I had done it

I had made me fade
But a bright light, a siren
I pictured her face

And then I woke up
Sprawled in a bed, but not mine
The wound stitched shut

And again I thought
Of what she may do, Should she
Not see me again

For, she may notice
If I was never again,
To give her a hug

The Past is past, such is her nature
Always behind the Present
And yet, so many choose
To live within her

To sacrifice the everyday
In order to curl around those
Past fleeting moments of joy
Giving a flickering light

The Present, the instant, the suffocating dark
Always ready to ***** out that small spark of light
Never stable, shifting with the winds of time
A sudden change, a sweeping wave

The Future, both hope and doom
The light of hope, of love, of joy
The dark of dread, of hate, of death
But never foreseeable. Never done.

As humans, we lie
To the people we care for
Again and again

To protect ourselves
Or to protect those we love
But it does not work

Beneath the willow
A young man sits, wishing past
Would fade at last

To silence his past
Seems but a feverish dream
A distant hope, lost

To blot out these marks
Would cleanse his scarred past of pain
Give a final piece

But what of his loss
Losing the small good times had
Those fleeting moments

A smile, high laughter
Eyes like earth, hiding rare gems
To be with her, love

Beneath the willow
A repentant old man sits
Glad to save those Gems