6:09am, restless. This fluctuation of immobilization is at it again.
In the best and worst times my mind is dwelling in that sanctified cave built and christened by my love.
My love, oh lover, is yours.
I am yours. In my entirety, inevitably.
I could not incorporate words to emotions such as love as clearly as I can now.
It was as if I were standing at the shore anticipating the sunrise having never seen the sun. But I have walked it's very surface. Embraced the essence, warmth and passion of a thousand life times in a single breathtaking glance with my sun. So fair, so inconceivable, Now my Sun rivals the very solar systems' in importance. And I am a helpless planet caught in her orbit. Enticed in eternity. Forever locked in her gaze. forevermore. The day my Sun fails to rise, I shall spend my existence in darkness, a monument to the depths of human misery. Waiting for her voice.
She speaks,
How can we truly say that we are alive?
When everything I see, in me is screaming, otherwise
I'm ready
Not to die, but to progress.
You cannot leave one place without arriving at another.

When the sunlight starts to scorch the sky
You could find a million truths
But there is always one more lie
This has grown to be the only thing I expect
When the answers seem so crystal clear
And they all say what you want to hear
We’ve lasted through another year
But I’ll be ****** if we make it through the next

For every moment you’ve gone unrecognized
There is a deeper story, another grasp-less prize  
And the final rumor spread about our worthless lives

If there is one thing you can learn from me
I can show you what it’s like to be empty
In the moonlight we will learn to never fear the dark
And in the morning, when you awake
You’ll begin to forget every thought,
And every face
Until the only thing you are left with is the urge to fall apart

The boundaries were broken,
The lines that were crossed now left behind only lies.
This city had now shown its true color.
It’s a reminder to the depths of human misery.
I remember a scene where the smiles were sincere.
The silence that would come so surly through the safety of sleep,
Was replaced by the screams of a stranger.
A stranger who would find no solace from the icy shores.
In a world which wishes to wash away all malicious intent,
The stranger only wanted to find his own way.

Through a wilderness of wasted opportunities.
He sees beyond the surrounding walls,
Straight into the invisible summits of imagination.
Where no power can control or corrupt.
Even in a time before memory,
There was only misery.
The sun now seeps through the silver evening skies;
The foolishness of all stranded lovers
Betrayed again by meaningless ties
Stormed forth with the palpitation of the relentless sea.
Alone in his abandonment.
But Blind enough to see.
Forgotten by all hearts.
Swallowed by a pointless eternity.
Branded with the fiery red passion of a thousand burning suns.

The stranger stretched his hands towards the moon’s reflection.
Lashing out in despair
Another charade, and another man at a loss for words
He clung to his hopes, to his sanity.
It was a necessary evil
His sightless faucets of sorrow were constant proof
To his humanity
To his sincerity
The epitome of pure empathy
Every action, every circumstance,
Forged by bad intentions
Let every star still tell the tale
The distant hearts will forever burn his name
Even as the sky-tears burst upon the breathless world
Cleansing the sepultures of every broken promise
All sense of permanence will be plunged into absence
Under the scrutiny of such a sun, there is no shelter
There can only be enough hope to escape a black tomorrow.

When did I fall in love with you?
It's not a matter of "when" but rather "how".

I fell in love with the way your smile set my world ablaze with light.
I fell in love with the way you held me close and kissed my cheeks ever so gently.
I fell in love with the way you looked at me at random times and smiled, then held my hand even tighter.
I fell in love with the way that I felt so safe wrapped in your arms.
I fell in love with the way you were open to me when all my past lovers had been closed off.
I fell in love with the way that my love for you made all my days bright and worth living.
I fell in love with the way that you were all I ever needed and wanted.
I fell in love with the way that everything was so easy and free
between us.
I fell in love with you, and to be truthful, I'm still falling

Get that stupid *** grin off your face and kiss me!” And so I did. I leaned in until I was inches from her rosy lips, waiting for her to come the last little distance. She did so readily, with a warmth and a salt taste that I knew I could never forget. Her hand found my knee as I reached around to gently caress the back of her neck, my heart pounding in my chest like waves on the shore.
          We stayed that way for a while, exploring each other, while the sun beat down. I could feel it burning my shoulders and back but I didn’t care in the least. It was a passionate kiss, not wild, but it had the depth and quality that so few do, the feeling that only comes with connection. The waves gently rocked us, occasionally lapping over the side of the surfboard. Our legs hung over the side as we straddled the board for stability, the salty water keeping us cool. It was complete serenity; one of those rare times when there are no mental distractions and a person can completely lose themselves in a single moment. Despite the perfection of the moment, I couldn’t help myself and the thought of pushing her off the board again made me grin trough the kiss.
          “What’s so funny?” she asked with feigned innocence. I could see the twinkle in those incredibly dark eyes, the little spark that always drew me in and fascinated me. The countless little freckles on her nose were newly accented by her sun kissed cheeks, holding a slight rosy glow that was very becoming. My hand had fallen from her neck and I used it to playfully splash a little water on her leg.
          “Oh, nothing,” I said with a sly grin, “I was just, uh, thinking about how beautiful you look right now.” But she knew me too well, easily seeing through my fib. She had always told me that she could read secrets in my eyes, big or small. Apparently I just couldn’t hide the way I felt from her, but that was okay with me. I had never needed to hide anything from her.
          “Is that so?” she had a devious look in her eyes. God I loved that look. She bit her lower lip just slightly and played with a loose tendril of hair that had escaped her ponytail. Then she leaned back on the board with her other hand, watching me. She had done this so many times before, I knew exactly where this was going. But she also knew I loved it.
          “Well, actually I was thinking about pushing you in the water again. But then I remembered we were being nice to each other today.” I said the last bit with a bit of a wink. She had always said she loved it when I winked, so I purposefully used it sparingly. A guy has to have a few tricks of his own, right? She always seemed to have the upper hand on me, no matter what we were doing. She seemed to have me figured out as nobody before ever had. It was nice, to say the least, to have someone whom I had to work to surprise or impress. It kept me interested, kept me challenged, which is exactly what I needed to make me happy. She was a challenge. A beautiful challenge, and I loved it. It was exasperating at times, frustrating to work with, but I knew that in the end I would never have had it any other way. She was perfect as she was.
         A beautiful, dangerous, **** challenge is what was going through my brain as I sat there watching her. She had tanned this summer, her skin taking on a golden tone that made it irresistible to the touch. Today she wore my favorite bikini top. It was red and hung down in a small triangle in front of her chest, patterned like a bandana. Small drops of water still clung to her forehead and chin from the last time we fell off the board. She was, in my mind, a scene of perfection, and she knew exactly what I thought.
          “Well. Maybe I’m not in the mood for you to be nice to me right now,” her voice trailed off as she pulled her feet out of the water and placed them just inside where my knees were, just to where her toes barely rubbed the inside of my thighs. The movement brought a tingling sensation where we touched and brought my heart to a pounding beat again. She was still leaning back just slightly on one hand, playing with her hair in the other. Her back was arched inward, so that the triangle of bandana was extremely prominent. I knew what she was doing, but so did she. Her eyes traced up the board from her toes, up my chest, to my eyes. She stopped bighting her lip as the devious grin once again took its throne upon her face. **** that grin.
          “Actually, I know I’m not in the mood for you to be nice to me right now.” This time her voice was laced with seduction, barely audible above the waves meeting the shore 100 yards away. She slid her body along the board towards me, her legs sliding underneath my knees, my calves and feet still in the water. My heart was pounding out of my chest at this point, and my breathing was a little heavy. I partially hated that she could do this to me so easily, but she knew that above all I loved it.
          We were very close now, her thighs slid just under mine, her toes touching the middle of my back. I lightly rested my hands on her legs, the golden skin feeling like heaven beneath my fingertips. She still had her back arched and she knew ****** well how good she looked as she slid her hands up the outside of my arms, across my flexed triceps and up to my shoulders. She moved those rosy lips towards me once again. ******* she was beautiful. She stopped when her lips were touching my ear, I knew she could feel how tense I was, how fast my heart beat, how electrified I was by her. Then she whispered.
          “Sucker.” And with that she threw her entire weight over the side of the board, her hands and legs dragging me over with her. The salt water rushed up my nose and into my eyes, burning. I surfaced spluttering and trying to see again to the sound of her laughter. I stood up, the water only four feet deep out here on the sand bar.
          “**** you **** you **** you!” I did my best to sound angry, but I couldn’t keep myself from smiling through it all. She was still laughing, loving her own joke. I splashed water in her face, still dripping wet.
          “I hate you.” She knew that every time I said it, that I meant the exact opposite.
          “The look on your face as you went over. Oh my god. You totally thought you were going to get some on a surfboard. Oh my, pffft that was funny.” She was still laughing, standing a few feet away, having not defended herself from my frustrated splashes. The look on my face was a mixture of amusement and frustration. I knew she loved that look, it gave her some sort of satisfaction in having gotten the best of me. I watched her walk through the warm water over to where I stood, arms crossed in front of me. She wrapped herself around me, giggling, and reached up to kiss me again.
          She was always a challenge, this girl. Always a beautiful challenge.

The whispers came from every dark corner
Every direction
Devouring me
I can’t seem to face the facts
I am trapped by the mistakes
That I have made in the past
But the days keep moving on
I slip into the sea as I beg for one final breath
Just for another chance to share my two cents
They overpowered my every move
What a feeling of apathy can do to such a beautiful mind.
But that mind is now locked away
Until society decides that it’s okay to be one of a kind.

You use the world as a reference point
When you focus on every lie
Trying to make sure that there is a reason to try
But when you’re looking for the answers
That you know you’ll never find
You can’t keep asking everyone else
To come up with a reason to love yourself
You can’t keep making the others happy
When you forget to say what’s truly on your mind

It’s easy to Paint on a smile
When the only thing you’re worried about
Is if the colors will match
When you’re aware that everyone is blind
And if you know that they do
There will always be a single drop of doubt
Because you know,
Oh, of course you know
They aren’t staring at the smile
But the imperfection that is hiding inside
But to mean it is another story
When you can’t falls asleep because
You’re afraid of what might happen in the morning
You’re scared to stop searching for love
In an abandoned apartment building


Another wasted search while you’re cursing fate
For putting in the one place that you have grown to hate
It seems as everyone else has already learned how to grow
At the same time it’s the place that you chose
And will remain being the only place that you will ever know

The secret to astronomy
Is to picture little stars
As moments you've spent breathlessly
Awaiting love's accepting arms
That sweet embrace cannot be found
With any other in this town

Her smile shines so blindingly bright
Her laugh defines true beauty's sound
From a distant land beyond the sight
Of that gorgeous face carved within the clouds

What if I said I needed you?
And what if I actually meant it too?
Would it make for a slightly different end?
Where heartbreak's rendered powerless
And deception is a friend.
If only we we're together
When we only seek to find
This world’s forbidden freedoms
And it's endless list of lies

We must not fear death
When time well spent
Brings joy's uncommon case of teardrops
To your unsuspecting eyes

Her eyes are rimmed with shrapnel shatters
Of bombs that detonated in the center of her faith.
I have never seen a soul so far from innocence,
So torn from belief in anything but the destruction of hope
Crumbling into the quivering cradle of a mother’s hands
As she watches her home burn in the name of justice.
Her ashen tears searing down her face in a funeral.

Her sole has trodden past fragments of a human's heartbeat
As it covered the ground that lead in the opposite direction of life,
And the war going on inside her rib cage wasn’t loud enough to stop
The cannons firing youth into the open arms of sorrow that would
**** the souls from their still growing potential, leaving them naked
While still being draped in blood with too many types to trace,
Shaking, in the reality of the lives they left behind,
One being their own.

Her smile is a canyon where too many stars have died
Each one bearing a wish set on its back by the trembling hearts
Of families being ripped apart by a battle they can never win,
While the blaring roars of emptiness, silence the whispers of their prayers
Bent on her knees, folding to a floor of emptied souls and hollow beats,
Her hands hang by his frail, body, and his fingers clench into a fist
I refuse to believe is the same size as his heart.

I’ll rip every memory apart to build a mask
Anything to keep the voices away
But the things they give me never seem to last
I just need something to fill the endless space
Something that will answer me
When I’m too afraid to ask
Because my emotions and I,
We’re no longer attached
And every feeling that I express
Ends up always getting trashed

But when I close my eyes to hide
From all the things that tend to hurt
I end up missing you so terribly
And it winds up getting worse
Because every sparkling rain drop
wouldn’t begin to quench the pain
Caused by this thirst

We fought through every barrier and found each other’s hearts
Not even separation could keep the two of us apart
You would call me when you were lonely
And you’d say, “Baby, please come hold me.”
I’d do anything I could to heal the scars

Think of everything you have that holds a meaning
And consider how you’d feel if it were gone.
Although you can’t do much to stop this
There is nothing you could do that would be wrong
But you can play another love song
Through her barred up bedroom window
And hope that she will sing along
Instead of screaming into her pillow
And in the end she’ll remember how it felt to fall in love.

Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...

Some of the most beautiful things are the hardest to find.
Like the purple that barely shines through in a rainbow.
Like the smile that breaks through all the broken tears.
Like the morning sun scorching away the nightmares.
Like your eyes lighting up when you see my face.

Keep searching for what makes your life beautiful.
Never settle for less.

I saw your shadow today and I fell in love.
It was short and it was small and it was complete.
It could never be mine, treading pavement and paths not mine to pass.
But I watched as best I could, as one traces the flight of the all above.

It was short and it was small and it was complete.
The skeletal shades glowed bright red in the evening sun.
But I watched as best I could, as one traces the flight of the all above.
Seeing your reckless face at its very best guess, grass summer sweet.

The skeletal shades glowed bright red in the evening sun.
I started to sprint and run and run knowing I’d never find your grasp.
Seeing your reckless face at its very best guess, grass summer sweet.
I was compelled to forward motion, to chase what could not be won.

I started to sprint and run and run knowing I’d never find your grasp.
My lungs in heave, my legs cramped, my entire life in flash.
I was compelled to forward motion, to chase what could not be won.
And I’ll keep groping and feeling for your shape traced until my last.

I’ve come to realize how the hands of a clock
Have been constantly giving us the finger
Forcing us to waste more time than we’ve got
The only thing they count
Is the remaining hours we have left
Until the dawn consumes the dark
I have the answers to your prayers
The things that god would say
If he wasn't so ******* scared
Stop asking for someone to care
Until your mouth has finished talking it’s ****
I could rip your tongue out and I still wouldn’t hear the end of it

I’ve fallen down this path a hundred times
But it never seems quite the same
I can see in everyone’s eyes that they have changed
We change as often as the seasons.
But when the fall comes
Remember to welcome it
Even when you can’t think of a reason
I’m sure there must be one
For everything I’ve cursed myself for feeling

Another day lies buried within
The iron clasps constrict the mouth of a man
The blood is wiped across his violent grin
Convulsions,
Help me embrace the sleepless nights
Maybe it will be the night that makes things right
Just let the envy drag you further from your dreams
Just let the envy drag you down

I’ve fallen down this path a hundred times
But it never seems quite the same
I can see in everyone’s eyes that they have changed
We change as often as the seasons.
But when the fall comes
Remember to welcome it
Even when you can’t think of a reason
I’m sure there must be one
For everything I’ve cursed myself for feeling
As another day lies buried within

MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

We weren’t meant to live this way
these hollowed hearts, these sorrowed souls
Time won’t dull what cuts us, love
and faith could never fill these holes
Behind the polished posturing
between each drug-store-perfumed line
the fear and abstract emptiness
still beg to be defined

Instead, we carve out memories
old wounds split fresh by tireless teeth
and press the past through shattered glass
‘til what remains looks like belief
when viewed through fractured mirrors
false mosaics we’ve designed
to guard against reflections
of what’s far too close behind

And this is what will ruin us
leaves us blind and unprepared
when our boldly charging forward
is betrayed for running scared
Alone, we grow more vulnerable
behind walls we’ve erected
on the fault lines of our failures
to pretend ourselves protected

When the blemished mask is lifted
what is left is only cold
‘neath the crass, seductive safety
sewn into complacent folds
We weren’t meant to live like this
these borrowed breaths, these gilded tongues
they speak of histories too brief
to claim we aren’t all dying young

I smile like dead cities sometimes, the ones
that have lights crawling along the skylines
like centipedes with dim legs but you should
know, you’ve seen me hide in the morning fog.

He used to find himself along the curvatures
of her chapped lips, he told her that he liked her raspy
voice blown out of her throat because it made her
smile look more beautifully familiar.

She always laughs like taxis stuck in downtown traffic,
the ones the tourists always confuse for welcoming
store lights on stormy, dark days; I was meant to
be gone with haste but instead I sit, inviting strangers
into my prison with skulls for walls and my impatient,
lukewarm laughter innocently seduces your heart wet
from the dismal rain. You really don’t know this, do you?

He used to turn his head when she laughed because her
voice reminded him of a beauty he could never achieve,
and she always believed him because he was the one who
told her she had a broken heart that could be healed  
but his love for incomplete souls was real, he said.

But you tell me my wandering days are what makes me
shine like raindrops with the sun rays caught in their bodies -  
you tell me I am a pioneer with a goal, with a hint of ambiguous
transparency and for all the seconds unspent, I will believe you.
Because of something as simple as love.

I never believed in happy endings
I need blood, I need vengeance
Is happiness not all pretending?
Truth is hopeless, torture is pleasant
The contradiction is tremendous

So just count your greed, count your blessings
As the wealth you hold cannot pay the price
Of a man selfish, and pretentious

So rip your eyes out, send a message
To all who suffer slowly through all of life's death sentence

Why must reality be so boring?
I know. Let’s make a new world!
Let’s write a story!
Filled with agony in its highest glory
Let sorrow stir within the sky
Let there be gorgeous genocide
And honesty can surely be,
An improved term for lies.
I think they all deserve to die my friend,
They all deserve to die.
Please, do not try to help,
You can't earn anything for yourself
And what is the point of effort wasted?
When the world is just a train station
Full of forgotten faces

I spend my days in Solitude. In Silence
As I try to convince myself,
That it was the enemy that killed her.
But the longer I stare, the more it seems clear.
That secrecy was our biggest Betrayer
And now, this very second.
I reflect my own words
The very ones I had written that now seem so absurd.
Oh yes, how I loved her. But not as a whole.
My mind was a divided one, but never was it dull
One moment, I plead for only her eyes.
And pure separation the other.
I and my lover are tormented
By my contradictory nature.

I apologize for my absolute Ignorance.
For it was not visible beneath digression.
No more do I wish to retain my secrets, my lies.
But I fear it is far too late.
I contain not a single whisper of an understanding other.
Who else would embrace attraction over fear?
It breeds a heavy heart to admit, my search.
My obsession continues still, this very day.
So long I’ve gone without a heart.
But I must not sympathize for my own faults.

My love, if you still seek honesty,
Please stare deep into these eyes.
The story is there, the truth is there

Your words spit and dribble down your chin,
forcing my hands to reach and catch them
with my fingertips. Silence finds a sultry
kiss within the static we fulfill in.

I hear the grasps in your breath, wrapping
around my neck until we’re both wheezing
for another chance to live. I knew you wanted
me to exhale a puddle of sighs at your front
door before I left without a word.

There’s red ash staining my palms — digging
it’s crimson dust into my lungs ‘til I see
fire in your eyes.
                              I burn for you.

I feel a chill into my brain, breezing through
the memories I’ve sustained. And the nostalgia
is darker than everything I’ve blown into
your veins, but it still tastes like regret.

Hold my neck the first time we licked
each other’s wounds, and tomorrow I’ll salt
them ‘til they are stone. And in a week I’ll
pick the scab and remember you as a scar.

I stare; I gaze, but do not conceive
The paintings pure horizon is in the presence of deceit
But please, repeat your outlook
Your pointless dictation of controversy
Disease, you preach from your foul perch
Upon this mound of impatience and matrimony
Your bride is but grievance

Internal rage without reason, but false is the tale
I read the writings wrapped in weakness
Such empty words, wrenched and creedless
I shed silence in a script of declaration
I steal the very breath of this restless plague
Impotence derives from but a faceless fractions cost
The few and the fallen, the tempted and the lost
They all perish at a point
We too, will perish.

Locked in the abyss of conflict

Trapped, forever sinking into the depths
Slowed to a crawl,
From a drop dripped too far
This overflowing vile of greed
Must find a way to be released

Separate secrets reveled, remain so softly undone
Will we ever stop thinking in time to realize we should run?

Neglection’s ghost concealed,
Under the sun
You cannot hide from the sun’s scrutiny from above.

He falls asleep without any thoughts
And awakes each morning
Living –
It is called,
But only through the memories
Of past memories;
Crawling through his lungs,
Heaving while his empty fists collapse
For lives past –
For the particles of meaning
And the substance of kings and poets.

His days this way are long and desultory,
But even so,
They are his.
Belonging only to him,
Until he falls asleep again
And the void consumes him
Once more.

If life was but a game
I might as well be entertained
But the masses of ******* stand out
Reluctantly,
I leave my thoughts to be someone it seems only you want me to be
An unbound book bound to the shelf
To see what is calling me
Is it just another confused memory?
You ****** me over and gave me every key i'd need
To make up the tale that love exists inside of meeeeee.

A whispered call to distant dreams
They have been wasted,
And where the pitch-black aisles of forest's night had hid eternal things,
My inspiration had run dry,
The moon is floating in the sky's dark lap.
Pale scrapings of people as far as the eye can see.
More excuses than imaginable

My bodies fate is intertwined with
the lies buried in my mind.
My minds eye is tangled within
these rupturing heart strings.

Winter has died a slow intermittent death,
brings on this hostile term, seasoned
with a blood red sun. I am left to search the
horizon for signs of fleeting delight.

Lucid dreams, and fading memories spark
images of beauty and wonders untold.
I feel the simple caress of steel upon my happy heart,
manifesting itself as white roses in the springtime.

Yes, winter is dead, and now all the beautiful women,
with the hair of fire must file their discord.
Their images, working in the late afternoon, in the fields below
my window, are left to marinade in my psyche - engrained.

I take mental pictures of these uninhibited images staring back at me,
to my horror they form a mirror who’s reflection is - my own.
My twin shadow you see, crept up on me in my defenseless slumber,
past the window of my personality disorder hangs a photo of me
If only I could find someone who cared enough to set me free.

When your flesh turns to dust,
and you become nothing more than cigarette ash
scattered on Atlantic breezes, they will decide
how human you were while you breathed.
On your tombstone, they will etch the essentials,
and summarise your million heartbeats in hastily carved letters,
by an impatient man. Each slab of silent sandstone
only reminds him of his ever fading mortality.

Each heartbreak, and each smile
contained within a single photo.
You have been reduced to a captured memory.
You have become nothing more than a collection of dates.
They will not remember you—they will simply remember
the moon's beauty as you said your goodbyes,
the corrupt idea that burned away the very life that
everything counted on.
You announced your presence, screaming ****** murders
that you were one day to commit.

When they embalm you with salts and pure white rags,
when they trap you forevermore, to sleep silently within
a cruel, confined coffin, they will speak dramatic eulogies in hushed voices,
standing over your grave-to-be.
Quietly, they will remember you,
as if frightened that they will wake the dead with their muffled,
forced tears. And as they lower you into the ground,
will your mother cry?

With aching arms,
the once happy,
will seal the grave with a kiss and a headstone,
and there will be no epitaph.

Your humanity reduced
to sandstone, dates,
and a name that will cease to mean anything
Except to the moon, except to the stars,
except to the lonely dead

Countless days since the first time ive heard her name you think within that time frame I would know everything about her

but here's something I just noticed she's 5'4 but walks like she 4'5

Its a walk with no purpose other than to get away from here

She has eyes that could light up the sky but they never leave the ground

All because one boy ruined her perception of beauty

It would explain why she shrugged off every compliment I gave

i tried my hardes to convicne her she was beautiful but she was convinced she was anything but

I am gonna give it one last try so you can see yourself through my eyes

Just listen

There's a girl with dark hair the color of the darkness surrounding stars just after midnight

With eyes so captivating that if you were handed a map , you would throw it away because there's no other place you'd rather be lost

A smile that would make a ****** drop his spoon becuase he realized he's missing out on a greater high

Lips that taste so sweet it makes sugar taste bitter

A body that curves in all the right places it makes a model seem like a manikin

But shes more than just eye candy

She has such a big heart because she does so much for everyone else and expects nothing in return

She has such a sense of humor that she'll laugh at a joke from a child or from a man with his mind in the gutter

She makes me believe God is truly selfless becuase I would've kept an angel like her in Heaven

So maybe you're right you're anything but beautiful because beautiful is such an original word to describe such a unique person like you

You're stunning

You're miraculous

You're drop dead goregeous

You're courageous

You're charismatic

You're Pulchritudinous , I didnt even know what the hell that meant until I realized it defined you

I wanna see you walk like you do after you just proved me wrong not like your 5'4 but like your 6'5

And after reading this you'd better kiss me because all I want is to see your smile

And you'd better realize that you've been looking in a mirror of lies , holding on to what you should've let go and that you finally realize what you're truly worth .. to me .... and everyone else around you.

These agitated periods of sleep-speech were mercifully brief.
And when they ended she would subside for a time, sweating and panting as if,
Into a state of dreamless exhaustion
Then abruptly she would awake
Convinced in her disoriented state,
There was an intruder in her head.
There was no intruder.
The intruder was absence
A negative space in the darkness
All was lost to her, like paradise.
Like Kashmir
In a time before memory.
Trapped in this city
She had lashed out in despair.

In such a city there can be no grey areas
Or so it seemed.
Things were what they were
And nothing else.
Unambiguous,
Lacking the subtleties of drizzle, shade, and chill.

Under the scrutiny of such a sun
There is no place she can hide.
No mysteries here, or depths;
Only surfaces and lies
Yet to learn the city was to discover illusion.
This banal clarity was nothing more then, nothing.
The city was all treachery, and deception, all the same
A quick change, quicksand metropolis.
Hiding its true nature from those staring at its name.
Pretending to be content
Guarded in secret
In spite of all its apparent nakedness and bleakness.

In such a place, even the forces of destruction no longer needed the shelter of the dark.
She burned out of the morning’s brightness, dazzling the eye and stabbed me with sharp and fatal light
Loveless, and blind
Born in the midst of the firestorm of courage.
Twisted and ruined.
The lands of possibility misbehaved.

A dishonest nursery
The blueness rich with sorrow, which filled the evening sky
That made the world look childlike and pure. Such an unnatural disguise.

From the depths of eternal despair
I’ve fought my way from the vice grip
The crushing hold of a heart so unfair

The fleeting memories of an anxious mind,
That remains so empty
When all is one and one is all
We stand prepared for the final fall

To the watching ones above
To the children we can’t afford
To every orphan,
Who was never truly loved
The ones we wish to make so proud
We throw our dreams down to the floor
And still you scream your disappointment
Oh, so ******* loud

It’s been dead ever since I can recall,
My eardrums have learned to cry
And they still cry
Almost the way my eyes used to
But now the sorrow stops
At the sound of your voice.
When my heart is half of what it once was.

When every moment seems so hard
Just keep fighting through the dark
And every other thing will never seem
Destined to fall apart.
There will always be a light, Waiting to claim you
When it’s right
To choke away the misery
And hopefully remember it
When the end comes and she has to leave
But you never truly thought of me .
When I couldn’t think of anything else.
I know that you still love me.

It’s been dead ever since I can recall,
My eardrums have learned to cry
And they still cry
Almost the way my eyes used to
But now the sorrow stops….

Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember, or the sun?
Did the water capture our faces in permanence?
Does the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret been revealed.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in mute testimony
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It can not be removed.
You, me,
We then,
Were here.
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a brief glimpse of love's promise.
We were not liars,
But thieves of time.
For now time has now forgotten us,
Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers
This place that was ours.

There is time for you and I,
when the day has unrolled
like a tongue to make the most of our lives,
to sit and sing our songs
in voices raised against the sky.
I will take you, muffled in your head,
To every lost dream you used to carry
in your pocket, to green parks
where the voices of children at play
echo long past when the swings
and wounds have gone silent.

This is our time,
yours and mine,
to watch the flavor of the orange sun
dip below the horizon line.
Unscrew the cap from the bottle
and pass it around.
You will not be drowned today,
not today and not ever while I am with you.
Unhood your face and look where I am pointing,
there is such beauty in this world and
we cannot understand or stand it.

And the black of night is upon us,
though we did not see it steal.
I can only just make out the pale white
of your face and your sparkling eyes mirror
the stars. The warmth is in my belly
and I know that you must feel it too.
This grand adventure life scooped you up
in its arms and though it gave you pause
to hesitate and doubt yourself, we are long
past that now.

That my hand and I will
show you life in circles, for everything
that has a beginning must end and so must we.
You were born a screaming, mewling thing
and I hope that in dignity you’ll die.
The sky will still be there and the celestial
bodies will move, long past when yours
has decayed and gone.

I will push you upon this swing
and as you give up all breath in your lungs
to urge you higher, revel in the fact that
tonight we are young, you and I.
There is a way yet until we depart
and the darkness in your life and in your heart
will fade like the heat of the setting sun
until it is gone.

And we are young.

We are young.

Tear down the curtains, hide the walls behind another layer of paint
Draw swirls of different colors and visualize a map of our distant fate
The directions we are heading prove the unimportance of all this pressure
The spring is here, the sun has arrived in time to put an end to our adventure
We’ll dust, shake out, and wipe down every corner of our minds’
And when the moon shows up, the party will carry over into the night
There’ll be laughter, drinks, and awkward glances to fill the spaces between words
We’ll beg for a repetition of the words we thought we heard
And realize the ideas that had been shared were nothing but absurd

There was a night where we forgot, and remembered what never truly was
The lives that we created were fueled by a mixture of ignorance and love
When the forest fires had spread into our homes from the falling leaves
Burning the memories that led you to a place you didn’t wish to see
It left behind only pictures to remind you of the beauty that you used to be

Remain within a blanket, to protect you from the creatures of the night
Too scared to reveal your skin, too nervous to reach for the light
So you enjoy watching the shadows as they dance across the scarlet sky
The sights that no one else could see were carved deeply into our eyes
So the hopes we shared in your daydreams were never really lies
They convinced us that they were while they secretly envied our minds
Without you the world would be empty, a tomb for those who never tried  
And we would all be searching the horizon, waiting for a dead sun to shine

And here we go again like two children
You’re mad at me, I’m mad at you
Over and over, it just never ends
Seems like everyday it’s something new

In an ocean of words
You want me to find the ones
That will make everything better
Believe me if I could, I would
And i’d drown us in every last letter

But as the questions fall unanswered down your face
I know the truth is, it’d still be too late

Maybe we’re both wrong, maybe we’re both right
Maybe this is simply an unwinnable fight
Maybe we’ve been trying to move mountains all this time
So maybe we should just call it a night

And if tomorrow we wake up to find
That both of our hearts have died
Well at least we can say that we tried

Frustration has made us believe we don’t care
Till it feels like there’s no point in trying
And every second spent getting nowhere
Is just another second spent lying

We lie to ourselves because
Nowadays it’s easier to pretend
Instead of finding our way out
Of all the broken pieces,
The building tensions,
And all our growing doubts

But as the questions fall unanswered down your face
I know the truth is, things will never be the same

Maybe we’re both wrong, maybe we’re both right
Maybe this is simply an unwinnable fight
Maybe we’ve been trying to move mountains all this time
So maybe we should just call it a night

And if tomorrow we wake up to find
That both of our hearts have died
Well at least we can say that we tried
At least we can say we tried…

And we just keep falling
Falling between the cracks
With nothing
Nothing to lead us back

And as the questions fall unanswered down your face
I know we'll never be too lost to find a way…

And if tomorrow we wake up to find
That both of our hearts have died
Well at least we can say that we tried
At least we can say that we once loved…