Fleeting memories
A crushing weight
Thoughts swirl
A chaotic dance
Morbid and morose
I shudder
Sigh
Lock the door
My heart is closed
I am empty streets
And howling winds
An onslaught
Of indelicate ideas
Leaves rushing
As water
I am bleak
I long to crumble
And return to dust
To spread out
Into the vast blackness
Vacuum of the infinite
I am all
I am nothing
Existence is illusion
Dreams are more real
Yet
I do not sleep
For I fear to wake
So I remain
Ever here
Ever there
Never here
Never there
Neither
Both
Ensconced between
Light and dark
Good and evil
Life and death
Alone
Forever
Thus
I despair.
Souvenirs fugaces
Un poids écrasant
Pensées tourbillon
Une danse chaotique
Morbide et morose
Je frémis
Soupir
Verrouillez la porte
Mon cœur est fermé
Je suis rues vides
Et vents hurlants
Une attaque
D'idées indélicats
Feuilles précipiter
Comme l'eau
Je suis triste
J'ai longtemps à s'effriter
Et retourner à la poussière
Pour étaler
Dans la grande noirceur
Vide de l'infini
Je suis tout
Je ne suis rien
L'existence est illusion
Les rêves sont plus réels
Pourtant,
Je ne dors pas
Car je crains de réveiller
Donc, je reste
Jamais ici
Jamais il
Jamais ici
Jamais il
Aucun
Tous les deux
Enclavée entre
Lumière et obscurité
Bien et le mal
La vie et la mort
Seul
Toujours
Ainsi,
Je désespère.

Caught in a web
Unable to break free
Trapped
Immobilized
My heart is a castaway
On a desert island
Always seeing an oasis
But never quite reaching it
No hope
Of rescue
Merely tortured survival
I have foundered on the rocks
Lured by the incomparable song
Of a siren
Deluded by illusory dreams
Longing to slake my thirst
To find some relief
From the searing heat
The soul rending pain
Hooks gouge my flesh
Stringing me up
Over a pit of molten fire
I have no strength left
Even to scream
I merely whimper
Piteously
Begging for an end
To this agony
Alas
No mercy is forthcoming
My sentence is eternal
Always just within reach
Of my heart's desire
Seeing clearly
But never able to grasp
To realize
No change
No hope
Only pain
I am stuck
In limbo.

Bounce bounce bounce
My mind is like a red rubber ball
A super ball
If you will
It keeps on bouncing
Up and down
Side to side
In great arcs across the room
Bouncing from thought to thought
Idea to idea
All so random
Disparate
As if someone were
Sitting on a galactic couch
Using my brain as a tv
Channel surfing
Back and forth
Never settling long enough
To form a complete picture
Merely random pixels
Blurring across the screen of my inner eye
And like that ball
I bounce and bounce
Never stopping in my green haze
Bounce bounce bounce.

Oh, a happy squid am i
Such a happy squid
Floating
Drifting through the blue
Feeling porous
Not quite here
How I dance away
On billows of happiness
This is the way
To spend the day
Laughing
And carefree
Oh, a happy squid am i
Such a happy squid.

My best friend
She
Is that rarest of flowers
Found deep within the endangered rain forest
She
Is the brightest star
She lights my way
Makes the darkest night
Seem as though
It were lit by the noonday sun
Her smile
Is dazzling
Her eyes
Pools I would gladly drown in
Her laugh
The sweetest sound in all the world
The way she breathlessly says my name
Sends me reeling through the stars
When I hold her close
I feel alive as never before
Exhilarated
Yet deeply at peace
Secure and calm
In the same moment
She is the answer
To every prayer I ever said
All I could hope for or need
She knows me
In ways I never knew were possible
She brings out the best in me
The adventurer in me
The beauty of her soul
Far outshines the beauty of her physical form
Which is more spectacular than
Any sight my eyes have ever seen
My feeble imagination
Could never have conjured
Someone capable of stirring my heart
This way
A love like this
I have never felt
In all my countless lifetimes
She is my heart
My soul
Everything
She is
My best friend.

Sometimes
Dreams do actually come true
Magic happens
When you least expect it to
The planets align
The stars above swirl
A dizzying display
Rushing to and fro
Falling in a sparkly shower
All around
It's as though
The whole universe stops
Just to bring
All its power to bear
On a boy and girl
To make a night
A supernova
The Goddess smiles
Upon the pair
Her blessing pouring down
As her faithful subjects
Revel
To all the skeptics
Who don't believe
That it can happen
That prayers can be answered
Rest assured
Sometimes
Dreams do come true.

Oh, could dreams come true
And wash away the blue
How glad my heart would be
If only it could see
It's one desire manifest.

Then, should mountains crumble
And from the heights I tumble
All else could fade away
And though melancholy I'd still feel gay
And could e'en die content.

Alas, the sky remains to be parted
So I remain downhearted
Longing for the dawn to break
For my soul to cease to ache
And bask in the glorious light of a dream come true.

Chickadee and Neon
Appear to be in love
We noticed yesterday
The way they were looking at each other
They have been staring
Romantically
Into each others eyes
Since late last evening
Who knows what they did
Last night
While we were gone?

They may be different species
One is a multicolored glowworm
The other a blue chickadee
The odds seem to be against them
But true love knows no bounds
Overcomes all obstacles
And, ******
They're just so cute together
The queen of the universe
Is definitely a great matchmaker

Ah, romance
Ain't it beautiful?

There is a blue chickadee
Staring down at me
He is perched above me
To my right
Behind a neon glow worm
And a green ball guy named Ralph

He is unblinking
Relentless in his vigil
The queen of the universe
Did set him there
To keep watch o'er me
Though she will
Take him down from his post
To have him dance for her
On occasion

His gaze is kindly
And knowing
This emissary of the queen
When I catch his eye
He reminds me of her magic
And her care for me
Her loyal subject

And
Did I mention
He's just a cute little blue chickadee
So how could I object
To his watching over me?

After all
We all need a reminder
That
There is magic everywhere
Around us
If only we open our eyes
And take a look.

In all my many lives
Never have I felt
For another being
That which I feel for you
Your beauty far surpasses
All the greatest beauties of the ages
None can compare
With your radiance
Your smile gives the impression
That all the stars that shine in the heavens
Have coalesced into one shimmering ball
And taken on human flesh
The goodness of your heart
And the magic inherent in your being
Shine from your eyes
Bringing light to a world of darkness
You are an inspiration
A Muse to my weary soul
Stirring the depths of me to longing and action
I am completely captivated by every facet of you
Your endearing little quirks
Your private language
Your single-minded focus and passion
You have so much strength in you
Far more than you give yourself credit for having
You try to hide yourself
Among the stars and scars
But I see through your camouflage
To the goodness and warmth
That resides in your soul
You truly are the girl who has haunted my dreams
Though you are far beyond anything
My wild imagination could have conceived of
You fill me with awe
And such longing
That my heart cannot contain the emotions
It threatens to burst
Within my chest
Even though we have known each other
But a short time
I wonder how I survived in this world
Without you in my life
You are light
And grace and beauty
Everything that is good and wonderful
In the universe
Made incarnate
You deign to walk among mere mortals
And brighten our mundane lives
When you are the Queen of the Universe
In disguise
I am carried away on dreams
When I look into your eyes
You have no idea
The power you have over me
The hold you have on me
I would spend all my days
Proving my love to you
And making you happy
If you will but grant me a crumb of your affection
I know
That no matter where I go
How many lives I live from here
I will never find
Another
Who makes me feel
Like you.

Wee wobbly Willie
Walks wearily
Westward
While whistling
Woefully
Wondering
Why
Willie wistfully
Wanders
Wizened
Wisely
Working
Wild water
With wine
Wanting wool
Windy winds whipping
Wasting
When words
Will
Work well when worlds
Whisper
Wee wobbly Willie
Wobbles
While winking
Winking
Wobbling
Wee wobbly Willie.

O Great Goddess
I
Your true worshiper
Crawl before your altar
To beseech you
Grant this poor
Suffering soul
Even a moments relief
From the crushing weight
Of this great love
Its sweet agony
The crippling despair
All melded into one great mass of feeling
O merciful Olympian
Great passionate Goddess
Provide succor
To this lost and wand'ring devotee
A glimmer of hope
To tether my soul
And keep the Furies at bay
In the same way
You granted Pygmalion's request
And brought to life
His marvelous statue Galatea
Answer my desperate supplication
Goddess of Beauty
I offer my self to you
I shall strive to restore
Your true worship
In this cursed world
That has forsaken the true gods
I shall bring whatever sacrifices you require
If only you grant me this boon
Quench a dying man's thirst
Bring me up from Pluto's realm
And lay me in the Elysian fields
Great Goddess
Hear my plea
As a follower still of your descendant
Gaius Julius
A follower during his lifetime
And a follower ever to this day
I always serve your great name
O Great Goddess
Hear my plea
Great and wonderful Goddess
Venus.

There is a cemetery in my heart
Filled with broken dreams
The shattered remnants of my soul
Lie decomposing in each grave
All the hopes cherished
All the love given
But not returned
Beneath every tombstone
A piece of my self
That has been lost
I am nothing
But a walking corpse
It is no wonder then
That I am
Alone
Who could love
A battered and worn
Husk
A mere shell of a man
That always
Says or does the wrong thing
I am cursed
By the gods
By Fate
By karma
To wander eternally
Alone
Is this my hell dimension
******
To be ever close to my heart's desire
But still separated by an uncrossable chasm
What ill deeds
Could I have committed in past lives
To merit such an existence
Gods only know
But try as I might
My sins I cannot atone for
And so I wander on
Perpetually alone
Through the graveyard
That is my heart
With no hope
Of salvation
At least
Not in this lifetime
It seems.

How do you restrain your heart?
Might as well attempt to hold back the tide
With a fishing net
The heart will feel what it feels
Regardless of the consequences
Whether it finds
Its feelings reciprocated
Or rebuffed
No matter the pain
No matter the anguish
The heart will yearn
And rush ahead in its feelings
Even though you try
To move at a more measured pace
Logic has no sway
The heart does not learn from past mistakes
Even though I know I must bide my time
And trust to the gods to see me through
The heart leaps ahead and lets its feelings
Run amok
In a pendulum swing
From exultant highs
To agonizing pits of despair
What can a poor mortal do
Alas, what a cruel fate at times
The gods did bestow on humans
By giving us
The heart.

Frozen-solid
Yep, that's my soul
The fear laced with regret
Keeps me in a prison
To which only I possess the key
But can I use the key
and set myself free?
Nope, not I
For who knows what lies beyond
My icy heart
In the heat of day
Oh, well
Ya win some; ya lose some, right?
****, it's cold in here
Where's a space heater when I need one?

isn't it over yet
this insane malaise
of half-remembered phrases
and faded colors

is it too late
to marvel at the resurgence
of native indecencies

the open maw
of a fetid tomb tongue
does it
transgress

and inside the deep heart
of a mistaken call
lies the nothing
that isn't capricious
and i wonder

will it ever end

Wand'ring
Lost and alone
Through a dense and murky wood
Far from familiar shores
A damp, deep weariness
Pervades my soul
As I search
For the tell-tale signs of passage
My quarry has evaded me thus far
The path weaving
Between the roots
Of ancient, gnarled oaks
I pause and wonder
At the futility of my quest
Might he have slipped from my grasp
For good and all
Ne'er to be seen again
I laugh derisively
The cynic rears its ugly head
I must keep up hope
Else why go on
Steeling myself
I begin to move once more
I turn my thoughts
To years past
And a wave of bitter nostalgia
Washes over me
I can almost hear the faint echo
Of their singing
The high pitched
Tra-la-la
As they went gaily on their way
I can hear his voice in the lead
See his blue skin
And white beard
A tear rolls down my cheek
I sink to my knees
I cry out
Papa Smurf!
Where are you?
But, alas, there is no reply
And so I journey on
In search of all I've lost
Knowing deep inside
That it can never be again.

Utter
Saddness
Encompassing me
Stolen soul

Making an
Effigy of me

Why does it
Hurt so much and so
Often

Am I all alone
Racing over a cliff
Even to death

Yet I can't fight
Or run from it or hide
U**nder a mountain

                                                         Leave me be!

A flexible sanity
A rigid madness
So seems divided
My weary soul
An intersecting of mirth
And misery
Why does it seem
So hard
To express my feelings
This lonely night
As I sit alone
In this small coffee house
A half eaten piece of cake
Before me
I take a drink
And think of my situation
The hiss of the cappuccino machine
Reminds me of the tiny voices
In my head
That constantly whisper
And tell me I am worthless
I try to ignore them
But they are too many
And speak too loudly and often
My mind is a jumble of theories
And facts
And deadlines
It's quite madd'ning
I can't escape
This cacophany in my brain
One voice tells me to go left
Another right
And yet another tells me
To stay put
For I'd only wind up back where
I am now
A failure
So I claw at my face
And stuff my ears in vain
With cotton
No matter what I do
I still hear them
And I worry that
I'm going crazy
Ha ha!
Maybe I'm already there.

Set apart in silence
Never truly fitting in
I await my execution
In a cell so dark and grim
And they lead me down
That final mile
And place me in the chair
And I burn
I'm gone
I wonder in that last instant
Will anyone even notice I'm gone
And I don't...

Drops of water
On the wood
Upside down
Upon the ceiling
Swaying gently
In the wind
Not falling
Down on me
Just sitting there
Upside down
Upon the ceiling.

A falling
A failing
A flaw in my character
What, I don't know
That thing that keeps me alone
What trait do I lack
Searching my heart
Leaves me quite disturb'd
Leaves me lost inside myself
Darkness permeates my soul
Through and through
Evil springs up in me
Like the dew
I turn away from shadow
Into light and like
Though my self
Puts up a good fight
I look for me
I find me
But I don't know where I am.

Peace unto thee, not so!
Fading as light, the flame is snuffed out
Let us be done with the show
The armies of light are routed.
Ne'er has there been such a wand'ring soul,
As empty, and bitter, and as cold
As the wind is uncaring
Of a world despairing
So shall thy days turn into nights
The candles no longer produce enough light.
As it were, let it be
We are lost in a maze that we cannot see.
'Tis all a dream,
'Tis all a dream!

Weep! Weep, O weary heart!
This pitiless realm hath fallen apart.
The spark of life has faded away
And night turns not into day.
Peering across the deep,
Cast down into the mire,
We waste not, want not for a moments sleep,
As we watch the dwindling fire.
Ne'er in all eternity's hall
Shall the beast with the will
Nor the angels come to call
E'er succeed, they must ****.
And, peace shall not win
Above evil hatred's din.
Lost we are,
Lost you are.
'Tis all a dream,
'Tis all a dream!

Schism

                                               Chasm

          Prism

                                       Spasm

Ring
Rang
Rung


Spawn

                               Dawn

Fawn

                                                                 Lawn

Sing
Sang
Sung


Fast

                                     Past

       Cast

                                                            Last

Spring
Sprang
Sprung


                          Night

Flight

                                       Might

              Height


Going
Going
Gone......

I am not
What I seem

I am
What I do not seem

In fact
I neither am
Or am not

Nor seem
Or not seem

Being
Non-being
What difference is there

If all is
Being and not being

Then what is?

Sonorous sensation seething sorrowful


                                      Sagacity serendipitous

     Sing-song similes sidling southward

Seemingly slipping ******

spectacular symmetry shows sputtering soul



                       Fallacies

                                   fall

          fluttering

                          fecundity fearlessly flaunting

former friendships foundered



                 narcissistic

N u a n c e s

                                                                                            nearing

nightshades
      nymph-like nuptials

                                                             nocturne

destiny Disposes

                damaged defenses

duly dramatizing

             dour dowager dreams

declaiming drowsy doleful deeds


                      Euphemistic

elegiac

            embargo/encounter

exiled emissary

endless
               ecstatic
                              echoes
                                            echoes
                                                          echoes
                                                                        echoes
                                                                                      echoes

                                           .............................................

Is it?
Is it really too much
To ask
That we have a world of peace

A world without violence
No guns
No bombs
No soulless military machine
Grinding ever on
Leaving only desolation in its wake

A world without war
A world not driven by the cruel whims
And made desires
Of politicians and generals and tyrants

A world where people can simply coexist
Where love and understanding
Can flower
A place where children can be safe
And grow up without fear

No more genocide
No more tragedies like Darfur, Rwanda or Palestine
No more refugee camps
No more walls

When will people wake up
And realize our shared humanity
Binds us in ways more numerous and profound
Than ever our differences could be

When will enough be enough
When will we rise in a mass satyagraha
For peace
To end war for all time
We can do it
We must do it

Is it really too much to ask?

Ah, the yawn
How strange
Yet peculiarly wonderful
Such an odd quirk of evolution
I have to ponder
What circumstances caused this reaction to develop
In some distant past epoch
Were yawns different
Than we know today
Was there a time when we did not yawn at all
And it was merely an adaptation
That took on a memetic life of its own
And through those glorious mirror neurons
Spread to all creatures
Until it became ubiquitous

How it makes one wonder
How the yawn conquered the world.

Twisting

Slithering

A never-ending chaotic morass

Winding through

No sooner does the light of dawn bleed over the horizon

Than the shadowy form of dread

Eclipses and quenches the fledgling beam

Waging a constant battle

Darkness always seemingly victorious

or...

Ba da da ba

Juxtapose the extremities

Daddy-o

The slicker downs a bottle of rye

Hits the open road in a beat up coupe

Off to see that daring young man

On the flying trapezoid

Zoom - zap - yowza

Upside

Downside

Thru the water

Ellipsis!!

Awakening

Comes

Slowly

But

Inevitably

Like

the inexorable process

Of

continental d r i f t

Self-awareness

Dawns upon the unsuspecting soul

Crashing down

Edifice of  substance

No more.