You've managed to turn a women of substance into this,
An angry mess.
Questing my sanity
If these words I say are reality.
This insomniac scream
My mental state is unknown
for the reasons I'm insane is unknown  
Temper of the young one is full grown.
I thought I divorced you but you return with new form of abuse.
Does it humor you that I can not sleep?
Do you feel accomplished that my thoughts are all on you?
How does it feel to still have your hold on my heart?
Do you enjoy knowing I am still in pain
The simple fact I can't gain
Or is this the result of recovery pains?
Either way life doesn't feel the same.
I wonder after you done with me will my body still look the same.
pondering what your next move will be because it's apparent you still controlling me.
Foolish me
I thought I could live without you.
I can't live with or without you I'm stuck
I want to say I give up because I've had enough.

the book is hidden away
its pages unturned
my eyes looking elsewhere,
ah,
this is bittersweet

I should
I should
I should

but,

I probably won’t,
like always

you know that
so why even ask?

I walk in with a smile
but always leave with a frown
because it always comes back to:
what I haven’t done
what I’m not doing
what I should be spending my time on

and it does is make me more
depressed

so Great Expectations
is waiting for
me

waiting to jump
and crush me
under it’s 500 pages
of ****