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Mar 2018 · 4.1k
Every Morning's Battle
Josh Kalina Mar 2018
Every morning’s battle of pulling myself out of bed in the morning, just to get dressed.
Every morning’s battle of deciding whether or not to eat.
Every morning’s battle of deciding which face to put on for the day.
Every morning’s battle of using my legs to go places.
Every morning’s battle of willing myself to be happy.
Every morning’s battle of not falling asleep in class, because I only slept for thirty minutes last night.
Every morning’s battle of telling my mother that I’m fine, just tired, because I can’t bring myself to tell the person who gave me life that I don't want it anymore.
Every morning’s battle of telling myself that there actually is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Every morning’s battle of deciding on whether or not to live another day.
Every night’s battle of holding myself back from going too far.
Josh Kalina Feb 2018
I miss my friend
He could make anyone smile in a matter of seconds
But as the seconds kept counting
my friend lost his hope
The once intelligent and kind child,
changed for the worse.
He still has good intentions,
but no one sees that
He makes people laugh, at the fault of himself.
because he knows, he knows deep down,
that he never wants anyone to feel the way he does.
Josh Kalina Feb 2018
I used to have this friend
Lighthearted, Kind
He was always smiling
Funny, Friendly
He could always make people laugh
Social, Interactive
You would wish you were that happy
Compassionate, Courageous
But I haven't seen him in a while
Unfortunate, Disappointing
He's me
Feb 2018 · 136
Josh Kalina Feb 2018
I’m terrified of drowning,
the thought of water rushing into my lungs-
the feeling of accepting what’s happening.
Thrashing, fighting, reaching toward the surface.
I become calmer as time progresses.
time gets slower
and soon I find myself,
treading the waters that I’m stuck in.
Not at the top,
but almost at the bottom
It feels like treading water,
but your arms are getting too tired to hold yourself up-
just like they always do.
Feb 2018 · 258
How I'd Wish to Be
Josh Kalina Feb 2018
Rewind, Reset, Restart.
Confrontation, Confusion, Chaos.
Oh how I wish I could go back.
my choices, my actions, my thoughts.
Oh how I wish I could start over.
of a multitude of problems.
Oh how I wish it would end.
thoughts that won’t leave my brain,
things that changed my life forever.
Oh how I wish I could stop.
on the past, although my mind won’t let me,
although the pain won’t end.

— The End —